Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Congratulations to President Gore

Congratulations to President Gore for his Nobel Peace Prize for his work popularizing environmental issues, especially the issue of global warming. Taking the general consensus of the scientific community and polishing it up for public consumption is something he's been doing for literally decades now, starting with his 1992 tome Earth In The Balance, and he does it well.

And what does the Never-Right Wing(tm) say about all this? Well, to quote one of their minor troglodytes:

Global Warming is a religion, and Al Gore is their Messiah. Science and the scientific method are bullshit.

Sigh. Where to start. First, science is about things that can be directly observed and measured. The scientific method consists of designing experiments to test directly observable phenomena (such as the temperature of the Earth over time, the effects of CO2 gas upon heat retention inside a greenhouse, the amount of CO2 gas produced by burning a ton of coal or a barrel of oil, the number of tons of coal and barrels of oil extracted over the decades, etc.), then using this data to validate or invalidate a hypothesis such as "human activity of burning coal and oil can cause global warming". However, just gathering data and making hypotheses is not enough. The experimental design must pass muster via peer review to qualify for publication in a peer reviewed journal (and peer reviewed journals will publish pretty much anything that passes a basic laugh test), and the experiment must be independently replicated by other researchers in the area. If, and only if, a phenomenon can be independently validated by the overwhelming majority of researchers in an area as published in peer-reviewed scientific journals, is it accepted as a scientific fact. Human contributions to global warming have passed this muster. Thus global warming is a scientific fact, not a religious one, and the Never-Right Wing Troglodytes are wrong (as usual) to call it religious.

Given that, their next step is to try to discredit science and scientists as a whole by calling it, and the scientific process involved, "bullshit". We have over 500 years of experience saying that this is a lie. You are using one of the product of those 500 years of experience right now. If you want to go back to living in filth picking lice out of your beard, smelling like ripe garbage, losing your teeth by age 30, and with 90% infant mortality giving an average lifespan of 30 years meaning that your family graveyard is full of tiny headstones saying "Baby Republican B April 5 2005 D April 6 2005", fine and dandy. That's a personal choice you make. But personally, I prefer having all these products of science available to me. If science is "bullshit" as the Never-Right Wingers put it, it's "bullshit" that has worked pretty darned well for you and me, my friend, which is all I care about (this is the philosophy known as "Utilitarianism", BTW, if you want to go study Philosophy 101 in college).

If you can find me an alternative to science that works better, tell me about it. Until then, I'm going to continue relying on science and the scientific method to produce the advances in our knowledge that make our life safer and better, because we have 500+ years of experience showing us that it's pretty darned good at doing that. Just one stroll through my family's old family graveyard looking at the dozens of tiny little headstones surrounding every large headstone in the old section of the graveyard is enough to tell me that much.

As for the Never-Right Wingers, when was the last time they were right about anything, whether it was weapons of mass destruction in Iraq or the genius of George W. Bush? Personally, I will rely on the scientists to do the science. Since I am not a climate scientist, I will rely on the climate scientists using the mechanisms of science (i.e. peer-reviewed papers replicated over time to validate experimental data) to tell me this, not PR people in the pay of oil and coal companies or random ignorant people off the streets or even random former weathermen who are not climate scientists and have never done any climate science. Science. It has a 500+ year track record of working. Right-wing faith-based argumentation, on the other hand... shrug. Only track record it has is of being never right. 'Nuff said.

-- Badtux the Warming Penguin

Torture definitions

So what is torture anyhow? That's a question that the apologists for torturing U.S. prisoners of war are quick to take advantage of. They try to paint things like, say, simulated drowning, as "not torture".

Personally, I have an easy answer to that question. A human being is a human being, whether two years old, 22 years old, or 72 years old. If you do it to a two-year-old child, will the child be taken away from you and then you go to jail for child abuse? Then it's torture.

If you put a two-year-old child naked into a cold room for days at a time, with a lightbulb turned on 24 hours a day, will you go to jail for child abuse? Then it's torture when you do it to a 22 year old.

If you tie a two-year-old child to iron rings in the wall with rope so the child cannot sit down and rest and sleep, will you go to jail for child abuse? Then it's torture when you do it to a 22 year old.

If you pour water onto a two year old's face until the two year old is frightened out of his or her mind thinking he is drowning, will you go to jail for child abuse? Then it's torture when you do it to a 22 year old.

If it's not okay to do it to a two year old, it's not okay. Period. People are people, regardless of their age, abuse is abuse regardless of age, and abuse or torture is wrong, period. People who try to justify abuse of anybody make me want to look at them suspiciously -- and I sure as hell wouldn't trust them with a two-year-old kid. Someone who would torture a 22 year old certainly isn't going to blanche at torturing a 2 year old, and is not to be trusted with anything that relies on people having even a modicum of moral values.

-- Badtux the Torture Penguin

Monday, December 10, 2007

Dangerous jobs

Here are the most dangerous jobs in America, as ranked by the U.S. Department of Labor:

Rank Occupation Death rate/100,000 Total deaths
1 Fishers and fishing workers
118.4
48
2 Logging workers
92.9
80
3 Aircraft pilots
66.9
81
4 Structural iron and steel workers
55.6
35
5 Refuse and recyclable material collectors
43.8
32
6 Farmers and ranchers
41.1
341
7 Electrical power line installers/repairers
32.7
36
8 Driver/sales workers and truck drivers
29.1
993
9 Miscelleneous agricultural workers
23.2
176
10 Construction laborers
22.7
339
Note what occupation does not show up on this list. Guess. Hint: It's an occupation whose members often say "I was scared so I had to do X" (where X is some infliction of pain or harm upon another human being), or "being a Y is dangerous so if I can't do X to protect myself, you hate Y's!" where Y is the name of this occupation.

So what is this mysterious X and Y? Well, X is "taser", and Y is "police officer". Yeppers, being a police officer is NOT the most dangerous job in America. In fact, police officers have an occupational death rate of 18.2 per 100,000, which is less than roofers, steel riggers, or pretty much any other construction trade, not to mention fishermen and crop dusters. And most deaths of police officers are from traffic accidents, not violence -- 2/3rds of those cops died in traffic accidents or other incidents, rather than from violence.

So yeah, being a cop isn't the safest job in America. But it's far from being the most dangerous one either. If you're going to justify tasing or shooting someone because "he had his back turned to me and started turning toward me and I couldn't see his hands and I was scared", may I suggest the purchase of some stones from a steel rigger or crop duster or fisherman? 'Cause those dudes have some cast-iron stones. Unlike, apparently, today's cops, who apparently think "to serve and protect" applies only to their own safety, not to the safety of the general public they encounter.

-- Badtux the Statistical Penguin

Scooter realizes he's wasting money

Scooter Libby drops his appeal of his obstruction of justice conviction. After all, Dear Leader has already commuted his sentence, thereby reducing it to a slap on the wrist and a stern "don't do that!", and Dear Leader is likely to pardon him on Dear Leader's last day of office, so why waste money?

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Sunday, December 09, 2007

There is no global warming and the Earth is flat

  1. Just as The Heartland Institute ((R) ExxonMobile Inc.) has demonstrated we don't have proof there's global warming, we don't have proof that the world is round.
  2. Oh sure there's all those photos, but how do we know that the photos from outer space of the earth aren't fakes? It is all propaganda of the liberal media just l ike global warming!
  3. If the earth was round then we would need curved lumber to build our houses. Otherwise our houses wouldn't fit flat on the ground. Try building a matchstick house on top of a beach ball and tell me you can do it with straight matchsticks!
  4. Pres. Bush should support a commission that would build a big wand that would extend from the earth out and take a "real" picture of the earth.
  5. Teaching our kids that the earth is round is "junk science" and they need to understand that as part of God's master plan, it is flat......
  6. The proposition that the earth is a globe moving through space at over 1000mph is referred to as "the orbiterran fallacy". It is demonstrated amply every time we send up a space shuttle. You will note that when the shuttle comes back down, the earth is still there. If it were moving through space, when the shuttle came back down, Earth would be long gone.
  7. Also note that when the shuttle lands at Edwards AFB, it lands, rolls to a stop, and stays there. Try landing a pea on a basketball. It will roll off every time.
  8. Photos taken from space that purport to show a spherical earth suspended in space are easily explained by the relativistic bending of light rays in the presence of large gravitational fields.
In short: Let's quit making decisions based on junk science, and embrace the truth -- that, just as there is no global warming, the Earth is flat!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Friday, December 07, 2007

Multiple Choice Mitt sez lack of air is... air.

And lack of religion is... religion. To whit, from Multiple Choice Mitt's latest speech on the role of religion in government:

In recent years, the notion of the separation of church and state has been taken by some well beyond its original meaning. They seek to remove from the public domain any acknowledgment of God. Religion is seen as merely a private affair with no place in public life. It is as if they are intent on establishing a new religion in America — the religion of secularism. They are wrong.
So lack of religion is a religion? Err... right. And lack of water is... water. And lack of money is... wealth. And lack of food is... gluttony. Fucking dipshit.

But then, it's not as if he believes any of that bullshit anyhow. Multiple Choice Mitt says whatever he thinks the audience he's addressing want to hear, and in this case his audience was batshit-crazy "Christian" worshippers of an invisible sky demon who reject any appeals to logic and reason in favor of whatever their shaman or "preacher" says their invisible sky demon wants them to believe ("faith"). So of course he had to spout batshit-crazy bullshit to convince them that he's not some meanie who wants to convert them to Mormonism or, even worse, might try to keep them from imposing their batshit-crazy paganistic invisible sky demon religion upon the rest of us. Multiple Choice Mitt had to convince them that he was as batshit-crazy as they are. Mission effin' accomplished!

-- Badtux the "Lack of air is a VACUUM" Penguin
Vacuum as in, the interior of Mitt Romney's head if he really believes this crap.

Shiny shiny kitty

The Mighty Fang sure is shiny. And unlike the silver, I don't have to do anything to keep him shiny -- he shines himself. All I do is the normal kitty care stuff -- dump kibble in the bowl every night, change the kitty litter every week, etc. -- and he does the rest.

-- Badtux the Cat-owned Penguin

Thursday, December 06, 2007

The beginnings of a new song

I was doodling around with the microphones and guitar tonight, as in, about 30 minutes before I started writing this post, and wrote this song (warning - 5 megabyte mp3 download), which I will call, for the moment, "Bloody Hands". Raw. Especially the lyrics, where I knew the general idea of where I was going but not exactly what I was going to sing until I sang it, other than the chorus and first two lines which predates it by at least a year. So I'll need to go back and write down the real lyrics now that I have the bones laid down, I know what they should be (basically fix the clear glitches in the current ones) now that I have the bones.

The doodling at the beginning is me trying to back in to how the song should feel. The tune for the chorus is derived from one I heard on a Mexican radio station one day -- I don't understand what they're singing, but the passion comes through, and that was an especially bloody day in Iraq and I was feeling especially depressed about the state of things. Post-production consists of selecting "Male RnB Vocals" for the vocals and "New Nashville" for the guitar off of the GarageBand side menu, with a slight tweak to the compression on the vocals (the guitar was fine, my guitar playing is pretty even insofar as dynamics go and the "New Nashville" has a fair amount of compression to begin with). Unfortunately, while the mix sounded good when I previewed through the phones, when GarageBand mixed it down to mp3 it applied its own compression on top of all of this and as a resuilt there was a couple of places where the guitar ended up coming up a slight bit too high in the mixdown. Fuggetabout it, this is just a scribble anyhow, I'll worry about it when I record for real.

So anyhow, now you know *one* way I write songs... i.e., bang around ideas in my head until one day I grab the guitar, turn on the Lexicon, and start playing and singing until something is down, then fix/polish/finish. Of course, with all these days at the office and nights managing folks in That Big Country Overseas, I don't get to do that as often as necessary for all the ideas banging around in my head :-(.

Tune and Lyrics copyright 2007 E.L. Green All Rights Reserved yada yada.

Multiple IP addresses in Windows XP

I need to assign multiple IP addresses to an Ethernet interface in Windows XP. The problem is that it appears that I must set *both* IP addresses to "static" in order to do this. On Linux or MacOS it's okay to have one IP address be DHCP-assigned and the other statically assigned, which lets you setup a private network on one set of IP addresses (like 172.16.3.0/24) and let your main interface "float" according to which public network you're on (192.168.x.y at home, 10.x.y.z at work), but if I select "DHCP" for the IP address on the Windows XP interface setup dialog, it then greys out the dialog that lets me add additional IP addresses.

Anybody know if I'm asking something that's even possible for Windows XP? I really need this so that my laptop can travel easily between home and work and I can access resources on the laptop without worry about which network I happen to be on and what DHCP address got assigned to the laptop. It works fine if I'm booted in MacOS, but when I'm booted in Windows XP, well... :-(.

-- Badtux the Geeky Penguin

Working on da railroad

It is 12:05 and I have been writing emails and proposals to my team in That Big Country Overseas for the past four hours. I left the office at 7pm, and have been working here since 8pm getting things whipped into shape and communicating with the overseas team so that the overseas team can do what they need to do.

I have no life :-(. Yeah, outsourcing saves time and money. (SNORT!).

-- Badtux the Tired Penguin

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Lighter fare

Okay, okay, so I'm a sucker for tiny smart kick-ass gals on the silver screen. But given the depressing fare around here, I think I deserve a bit of circus to go with the bread and water and jail cell bars of the cage that is Soviet America (though they are quite fancy jail cell bars, jail cell bars of gold, the better to buy a penguin's submission to the State with, jail cell bars they remain). And from what I'm reading, Juno is likely to make those bars seem rather more comfortable for a couple of hours. So sue me. I'm gonna go waddle to a theatre and get entertained.

-- Badtux the Needs-a-comedy-film Penguin

Drug wars, Florida voting rights, and racism

In some precincts in Florida, half the black male population is not allowed to vote. Statewide, 30% of black males in Florida are not allowed to vote. If these men were allowed to vote, we'd be turning on our televisions to President Gore. Now, I hear you saying, "but how can that be? Didn't we pass a Voting Rights Act back in 1965 to enforce the right to vote granted by the 15th Amendment to the Constitution? Well, yes. But you see, there's a loophole: The "due process" clause of the 14th Amendment. If a judge and jury convict someone of a crime, it's fine to strip them of citizenship rights, because a) due process has happened, and b) it's not explicitly due to race.

Southern states during the apartheid era of government-enforced segregation ("Jim Crow") were quick to pick up on this loophole shortly after the passage of the 14th Amendment. They passed "Vagrancy codes" that basically made it illegal to be a black man in public. They could then station sheriff's deputies outside of polling places to arrest any black man who tried to vote and charge them with "vagrancy" and thereby legally strip them of the right to vote. These "vagrancy codes" have since been ruled by the Supremes to be unconstitutionally vague and overturned, but with President Richard Nixon's declaration of the "War on Drugs" in 1971, a new tool for use in the Republican Party's "Southern Strategy" of pandering to racist whites was swiftly devised by states wishing to disenfranchise blacks: They could enforce the new drug laws, but primarily target blacks for enforcement. Thus while all surveys of drug usage find that the percentage of drug users is largely identical across all racial and socio-economic boundaries, in some Southern states a black cocaine user is seventeen times more likely to be arrested than a white cocaine user. Meanwhile, Rush Limpdick is still a free man despite scoring enough hillbilly heroin to croak a horse.

So the fact that Florida disproportionately disenfranchises black males under its law prohibiting felons from voting is not a bug in the law. It's a feature. It's what this law was designed to do from the beginning -- i.e., disenfranchise blacks. The notion that any American should not have the right to vote, regardless of conduct in the past, is reprehensible enough. The fact that the law is rigged so that one race is disproportionately affected by this stripping of the right to vote is just plain, well, evil.

-- Badtux the Law Penguin

Thought for today

Cats are like wives -- they are always right.

-- Badtux the Aphorism Penguin

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

A well-hung man

Apparently Donnell Williams of Wichita Kansas is hung like a friggin' stallion, given that, as he stood in the doorway dripping from just getting out of the bathtub, clad only in a bathtowel, the Wichita Police tasered him. Apparently police were scared that he was hiding a loaded weapon beneath his towel and was not responding to their demand that he let go of the towel and put his hands up.

Cue the porno music... have we found the new Dirk Diggler? Or just a buncha ball-less cops who confused a guy's, uhm, package, with a pistol and, well, shat their pants in the midst of tasering someone who scared them with the mighty Gun of Fun?!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Monday, December 03, 2007

Kitty orchestra

In which I abuse my fancy recording gear for nefarious purposes. Interesting how a penguin can meow and get two cats to meow with him, hmm?

-- Badtux the Cat-owned Penguin

All yur data are belong to Rus

KGB buys LiveJournal. So the KGB (via their front company SUP) gains control over the biggest bloghost for Russian-language blogs.

Unknown, yet, is the fate of Russian bloggers who previously used the American-based LiveJournal to criticize their Dear Leader, Vlad the Impaler Putin. But I'm sure nothing will happen to them. Russia is a bastion of freedom and liberty, after all, George W. Bush looked into Putin's eyes and said he saw Putin's soul. Or maybe that was just the coke speaking, Whatever.

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Chavez accepts defeat at polls

So long for those "dictator" comments. Chavez defeated in Venezuelan elections, accepts outcome of election.

Now can we put that "dictator" nonsense to rest? Chavez may be a goon, but he's an *elected* goon, just like George W. Bush. And in a few years, he's going to be a *formerly* elected private citizen, just like George W. Bush. Neither man is a "dictator" and claiming he is, is just plain silliness.

-- Badtux the Observant Penguin

Sunday, December 02, 2007

A modest question

When I was a kid, I ran around the neighborhood (and not a good neighborhood either) without an issue. Cops back then were armed with .38 revolvers and tactical batons. There were no paramilitary SWAT teams. If the .38 revolvers weren't good enough, they had pump-action shotguns. If they needed to serve a warrant on someone dangerous, they took a couple of cop cars, one for the back door and one for the front door, and a cop walked up to the front door and knocked on it while his buddy covered him from behind the car. Body armor was unheard of, Vietnam-era flak jackets were the best available and were considered too heavy and cumbersome for the limited protection they provided. There was no such thing as a "no-knock" warrant, and a couple of cops did get off'ed during my childhood but that was back when men were men and cops shrugged off the risk as just part of the job. All in all, our police force was pretty lame, more adept at handling drunks at the local bars than anything serious. But I was safe to roam my neighborhood. Indeed, murders were extremely rare -- I think that a dozen people were murdered in that mid-sized city during my entire childhood, and each time it was a major front-page story in the local news rags.

Today, cops in that town are outfitted like a paramilitary force, with automatic weapons, tasers, body armor, pepper spray, the works. They clank like freakin' robo-cops when they walk down the streets, they have so much shit hanging off of them. Routine traffic stops often turn into alarming confrontations as hyped up cops under loosened rules of engagement (under the mantra "force protection") end up pulling down on people they stop for driving while black. If you call them on it, they insist that force protection requires that cops act like a bunch of thugs -- in other words, compared to the cops of my childhood, they're all a bunch of cowards who apparently think that the point of being a cop is to keep themselves safe, rather than to keep the general public safe. Cops routinely kill several unarmed people per year and nothing ever happens because the cop says "I thought he had a gun" and of course the life of a cop is more important than the life of an innocent man. When warrants are served on someone suspected of being dangerous, entire city blocks are shot off and dozens of cops armed with automatic weapons burst through the doors after firing stun grenades through the windows in order to terrorize innocent women and children who had the misfortune of living at the wrong address, and there is never an apology or any compensation, "ve must haff order!" is the order of the day and if you question these tactics you must be a criminal.

The population of this city has remained pretty much constant over the past 40 years, but the murder rate has soared. They now have over a hundred murders per year in this city. And that's not counting all the lesser crimes. There are neighborhoods where I would have cheerfully roamed as a child, where I wouldn't dare go today, even though they weren't "good" neighborhoods when I was a child either.

So here's my question: What has all this militarization of our police forces in pursuit of the "war on drugs" gotten us? Other than a steadily increasing body count, that is? Curious penguins want to know!

-- Badtux the Unmilitarized Penguin
Cross-posted at The Medley

Scam Nation U.S.A.

So I was sitting back thinking about this cool new product I'd like to create, and how great it'd be if I could round up some venture capital and put together a team to do it. But of course, that isn't happening, because I'm not the kind of person who can sell heaters to Eskimos, much less a new gadget to dubious venture capitalists. Then there's the possibility of somehow working my current company into building that product even though it really has little to do with their current product line except insofar it's in the same basic industry. But that would require me to engage in a nasty bit of internal warfare that I'm ill-suited to pursue. At that point it hit me what my biggest drawback is as a potential leader of an enterprise: I'm not a con artist capable of scamming people.

The whole art of creating a new business in the post-dot-com era is akin to working a complex con. You need a face man, which obviously isn't me -- let's face it, penguins are cute, but not exactly what shouts "stability!" to a venture capitalist. You need a plausible scheme to Make Money Fast, the participation in which I'm dispositionally incapable of doing. You need to make promises that you know can't be kept, and you need to be able to fool potential customers into buying your product even though reality is that it'll be years before your product is as stable and feature-filled enough to be a slam-dunk must-buy purchase in the industry even if it's innovative and "good enough". This last bit -- the need to scam people into buying your product -- is the most important bit. Most new businesses in the high-tech industry fail because the venture capitalists run out of patience before you have a product compelling enough that customers eagerly seek it out without having to be scammed into buying it. Marketing, not product, is the primary issue causing the failure of most new businesses.

In other words, the heart of the modern American economy has nothing to do with producing a good product for a good price. It all has to do with how good you are at scamming other people out of their money. The American economy, in the end, is one big con job. And like all con jobs, this one seems to be crumbling under the weight of the many, many scams needed to make it go around, but everybody is just closing their eyes and pretending that if they just wish hard enough, the con will turn out to be real.

As for my cool new product, I'll just have to think about it for a while longer, I suppose. Maybe someday I'll run into a con artist good enough at running the scam that I can actually get it built. Until then... (shrug).

-- Badtux the Geek Penguin

Purple toe

I stubbed my toe against something and now it hurts and it looks like the nail bed is bruised and/or damaged (it's purple and blue). I'm debating whether to head on down to K-P Urgent Care, but the toe seems to be the same shape as the corresponding toe on the other foot and isn't swollen up like something's broken so I'm not sure what good that would do other than waste my time on something that only time can heal... hmm...

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Evel Knievel's last jump

So famous motorcycle stuntman of the late 60's/early 70's, Robert Craig "Evel" Knievel, has made his last jump. Diabetes, pulmonary fibrosis, two strokes, hepatitis C, a hip replacement, arthritis, liver transplant, 38 formerly shattered bones, including a seven-times-broken back, twice-crushed pelvis and frequently fractured legs, plus several comas, one lasting 29 days, all of that finally took its toll and he died Friday at age 69, years after he probably should have been dead.

I ride a motorcycle, as you may have figured out, but never had the slightest inclination to copy Evel's stunts, being of sound mind and quite a bit brighter than our boy Robbie. Watching his body flop along the ground in this disastrous jump , for example, all I could think was "ouch, that hurts!" and resolve to keep my motorcycle firmly affixed to the ground.

Still, his dumb courage certainly makes today's wuss-boys who cower in terror of dusky-skinned fellers overseas look like the pussies they are. So here's two flippers up and a basket of herring to help the Evel one on his way. In the end, he was as American as, well. any other American who does stupid things because, well, just because.

-- Badtux the Nostalgia Penguin

New blogs on blogroll...

I have not been keeping my blogroll up to date. Here's a few new ones:

Politicky Bitch
.Common Sense
Guys from Area 51 (really cool!)

-- Badtux the Blogrolling Penguin

From the tabloids...

Britney knocked up... AGAIN! Or maybe she just stripped in the middle of a sex toy store. Or something.

And we're supposed to care about the travails of modern-day trailer trash because... uhm... why?

Bread and circuses and palace intrigues oh my.

-- Badtux the Retching Penguin

Why I sleep with a pillow over my head

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

-- Badtux the Cat-owned Penguin

Friday, November 30, 2007

Florida fun police go after motorcyclists

A state representative in Florida has an idea:

South Florida has a motorcycle problem, and lawmakers are introducing legislation to show bikers that they'll go a long way to punish those who break the rules. Stunt riding (including wheelies), excessive speeding, and concealable license plates will get you a 10 year ban on your motorcycle license, mandatory jail time, and an impounded bike. If the punishment sounds like the medieval practice of cutting off the hand of a man for stealing, that's exactly how State Representative Carlos Lopez-Cantera wants it.
In my opinion, this does not go far enough at removing hazards from the road, though. So I submit these suggestions for Rep. Lopez-Cantera's consideration:
  1. All drivers going 50mph in the fast lane should immediately have their license destroyed on the spot, car confiscated and be given one of those electric mobility scooters as their form of transportation, since it is obvious that they are no longer capable of driving a car.
  2. Drivers talking on the cell phone while driving should not only get a one month prison term and $5,000 fine and have their car confiscated, but they should have their mouth stitched up so that they must eat through a tube in their nose for the next ten years. That'll teach'em not to talk so much!
  3. Changing lanes without signalling: Since your turn signals obviously do not work, the cop who stops you is required to smashe them in with his sledgehammer, rip the turn signal stalk off the steering wheel, and call a tow truck to have your car hauled to where its turn signals can be repaired. You are then not allowed to drive without a DMV employee in the car and are required to make left and right lane changes 1,000 times properly using your turn signal each time prior to being allowed to drive unattended again and must pay the full salary of the state employee who supervises this. Each time you improperly signal during this process you will be tasered on your crotch just to remind you what you're supposed to do with that "turn signal" thingy.
  4. Driving down the road for more than a mile with your blinkers on: Your cell phone, radio, and any other noise-making gadgetry in your car is smashed with a hammer, and you are then required to change lanes 1,000 times properly using then cancelling the turn signal for each lane change before you are allowed to drive unattended again. A hearing exam is also mandatory.
  5. Stopping at the top of a freeway ramp: Since obviously your accelerator and steering mechanisms do not work, your car is immediately towed to a wrecker yard and smashed to be 6 inches high as a menace to the driving public. You are then banned from driving anything other than one of those electric mobility scooters since obviously you are incapable of properly maintaining and driving an automobile and obviously will never be capable of doing so
I am sure that this modest proposal will meet with the approval of all. Yessiree, Rep. Lopez-Cantera be da man! Just the man we need to deal with all the menaces to the driving public, whether on two wheels or four, doncha think?!

-- Badtux the Motorcyclin' Penguin

Friday Fat Kitty Blogging

"I'm not fat, I'm just big-boned!"

Err... right. Whatever ya say, mighty mighty one...

-- Badtux the Cat-owned Penguin

Mission accomplished!

No Child Left Behind has been so successful that... we've gone from #5 to #11 in international reading comparisons.

Time for Dear Leader to land on an aircraft carrier and strut under a “Mission Accomplished!” sign with his mighty, mighty codpiece leading the way again! Because, of course, it really IS “mission accomplished”. The stupidification of America is the mission, didnja know?!

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Go give Dennis or Ron some bloggy love

If you make a donation up to $250 today, they get 1st quarter 2008 federal matching funds in the same amount.

Dennis Kucinich for President (click "Donate")
Ron Paul for President

Remember -- vote for the "crazies". Because haven't we had enough fun with the "sensible people" running our country into the ground?

-- Badtux the "I donated to Dennis" Penguin

Thursday, November 29, 2007

"Dictator" Chavez?

I’m not a big fan of Hugo Chavez, I think he’s an ignorant goon, but he was elected by an *overwhelming* majority of the vote in elections that were judged free and democratic by impartial third-party observer. Polls of the general Venezuelan population by impartial U.S. polling organizations (as vs. local polling organizations owned by the Venezuelan equivalent of the neo-cons, the former ruling class pissed that a “peasant” got elected instead of one of their own) find that his support is still well over 60%. Calling him a "dictator" is like calling Jack Daniels “soda water” — it just ain’t correct. Not that this will stop the wealthy elite who run the American press from calling Chavez a "dictator", of course. They're upset that their counterparts in Venezuela are no longer allowed to run the place. "Mob rule" (i.e., rule by the majority) is abhorent to them, and thus all the anti-democratic rhetoric regarding Venezuela coming out of the American press, which might as well be the Soviet press insofar as its "reporting" goes.

In the end, Chavez is a symptom, not the disease. The disease is a diseased U.S. foreign policy which supports true dictatorial regimes such as the white-skinned former ruling class in Venezuela (which disenfranchised the dark-skinned majority and ran the place as their own personal banana republic) because they’re “pro-American”, and opposes any attempts at democracy in “sensitive” locations like Venezuela because “they might elect a government hostile to America”. When you do this, you *guarantee* that when the people eventually *do* get to vote for the President of their choice, they’re going to vote for someone anti-American. If we had a sane foreign policy, Chavez would just be a disgraced former army sergeant bitterly eking out a living on a tiny subsistence farm on the edge of the jungle. We made Chavez, in the end, through our own interventionism in Venezuelan affairs.

Oh, and for the hoity-toity effete of the former ruling class upset that they had to wade through a sea of their former slaves to vote in the last election, and their thousands of college-age children "rioting" in the streets (kinda like the College Republicans "rioting") — cry me a river. The Indios of Venezuelan were treated like the blacks of the American South. They were Venezuela’s niggers, disenfranchised, often murdered when they tried to register to vote, and relegated to the worst jobs on the margins of society. They were slaves in all but name. And the United States supported that treatment of them for many decades because the whiter-skinned ruling elite was “pro-American”. So now the white minority population of Venezuela is rioting in the streets because the dark-skinned majority is now taking back some of the nation's wealth that the white population stole over the years? Oh wah! What you dish out is what you get back, in the end. I have no sympathy. None. Zero. Zilch.

-- Badtux the Geopolitical Penguin

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

"Heritage, not hate"

That's what those who support flying the Confederate battle flag (the "Stars and Bars") always say.

Funny, I grew up in the American South during a time when white bigots waving the "Stars and Bars" regularly made sweeps of "nigger town" to go "nigger knocking" in order to "keep the niggers in their place" because black people had gotten this notion that they might be equal to whites and it was necessary to deal with "uppity niggers" (note -- all terms in quotes are direct quotes from these bigots, not my words). That's the heritage I remember -- a heritage of hate.

The Confederate battle flag, like the swastika, may have originally had another meaning, another heritage. But you can't tell me that it is any way appropriate to fly the Confederate battle flag anywhere that a black person can see it, given the heritage of hate that it embodies. Emmett Till, Addie Mae Collins, Herbert Lee, Willie Brewster, and hundreds of others killed by battle-flag-waving bigots have completely destroyed any other meaning that the battle flag may have once had. Flying the Confederate battle flag today is akin to flying a swastika-emblazoned flag and yelling "Seig Heil!" outside a Jewish synagogue. It's got nothing to do with heritage, and everything to do with hate. You may not like it, you may think swastikas are just cool symbols and battle flags are neat, but their use as emblems of hate is far too recent in memory for your likings to be relevant. Until the last man dies who saw the battle flag used as a symbol of racism and bigotry, it will always remain a symbol of racism and bigotry. Like it or not, reality simply is.

-- Badtux the Southern Penguin

Overheating penguin

One cat is on my lap, the other cuddled against my side, and my laptop is sitting on my tummy as I lie in bed.

Life is good.

-- Badtux the Cuddly Penguin

Seig Heil!

Republicans in Virginia require loyalty oath to vote in Virginia primaries. The loyalty oath reads like this:

Ich schwöre bei Gott diesen heiligen Eid, daß ich dem Führer des Deutschen Reiches und Volkes Adolf Hitler, dem Oberbefehlshaber der Wehrmacht, unbedingten Gehorsam leisten und als tapferer Soldat bereit sein will, jederzeit für diesen Eid mein Leben einzusetzen.
Well, uhm, not exactly, but close 'nuff!

Do these guys hate democracy, or what? Seig Heil!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Random cuteness

Scene: I am loading up my motorcycle to ride back home. I look to my left and there is the ultimate cuteness -- a young blond girl maybe six years old, wearing full camo complete with camo hat, holding a puppy and cooing soothing words to it and the puppy licks her face. I turn back to the right and walk a few steps and hear a woman say something along the lines of, "George, look at what your daughter is doing!" and look back. The young girl is licking the puppy's face in return.

-- Badtux the Random Penguin

I feel safer, Part 912,223,342

Canadian jets took over U.S. air defenses while F-15's were grounded because, well, because they've been worn out doing ground attack duties in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Yeah, that Iraq war in particular really makes me feel safer...

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Monday, November 26, 2007

Beware the Photos of Mass Destruction!

It seems that finally the U.S. military is going to do something about Bilal Hussein, a member of the AP's 2005 Pulitzer Prize-winning photo team that they've held without charges for 19 months now. They're going to send him to an Iraqi court with only a few hours notice for his defense attorney to prepare a defense for the crime of, err, ah... uhm, well, not shooting at people… not blowing up people… but, uhm, err… taking photographs of bad people.

Wow. Musta killed a lotta people with his camera. Why, our brave men and women in uniform just trembled in terror when this sod came at them with his dastardly Camera of Mass Destruction. I can see it now, our brave GI’s on patrol in Ramadi, and suddenly… a soldier falls to the ground. “Sarge! I’m hit! I’m hit!” “What’s the matter, Private?” “The nasty terrorists … TOOK A PICTURE OF ME! Oh the horror!” “Medic!” (Medic trots up, looks at the dying soldier writhing on the ground, looks back at the Sarge). “I’m sorry, Sarge, there’s nothing to be done. He’s been killed by… by… A PHOTOGRAPH OF MASS DESTRUCTION!”.

Phew, boy are we lucky that the perpetrator of such dastardly deeds against our soldiers is now off the streets! But never fear. If the Iraqi court releases this evil heinous perpetrator of Photos of Mass Destruction, the U.S. military has sworn that it'll take custody of him themselves again so that he will not use his camera to perpetrate photos of mass destruction again. I feel safer! Yeargh! U S A Fuck yeah!

—Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Sunday, November 25, 2007

In the desert

It's funny, how some people look at the desert and just see rocks and dirt and dead things. I post a photo of my campsite in the desert, and these people think it's some sort of horrible place, rather than one of the most interesting places on the planet. What's with that?

-- Badtux the Puzzled Penguin

Back home

This migration was much more pleasant than the one last year, despite the fact that I didn't get to do what I'd set out to do (a particular loop trail). Part of it was a cute-as-a-button Asian REI chick who rolled into the campground on the same day I did on a dual-sport motorcycle. She'd bought the motorcycle, strapped on some saddlebags, strapped her sleeping bag and tent onto the luggage rack, and simply set out for the desert. But really, I'm about twenty years too old for that kind of action, so I mostly just warned her that the multitudes of proposed rides that the swarm of male dual-sport riders around her were proposing were probably a bit, uhm, over-aggressive, for someone who'd never ridden a motorcycle offroad before. Given that her initial reaction to anything that sounded like adventure was "Sure!", somebody had to be the voice of reason there :-}.

Anyhow, one reason I got back so late is because I had to do surgery to my mule in the parking lot of the hotel where I stayed last night. On my morning checkout, I added 1/3rd of a quart of oil to bring it back up to the top of the window, filled the chain oiler with oil, and eyeballed the chain. I was primarily looking to see if I needed to turn the flow up or down on the chain oiler, but that was when I spotted that the master link had lost its clip.

Luckily (well, no luck involved) I had a chain riveter and a couple of rivet-type master links in my bags. That of course required kicking one of my side bags under the skid plate to get the back tire off the ground so I could loosen the axle nut and chain adjuster and shove the tire forward to make some slack. Then I discovered that my brand-new chain riveter required a size wrench that I didn't have in my tool pouches. Luckily a dirt-bike rider that I'd talked with earlier saw me sitting there with tools and parts spread out around me and offered the services of a large pair of channel-lok pliers, which did the trick. I popped off the old link with just a quick squeeze of the pliers (eep!), fiddled with the tool to press on the side plate and mushroom the rivet heads, voila. Well, almost. Took about an hour altogether to do all this and get everything back together and packed. Which put me right into the middle of the holiday traffic.

Heated vests are great, BTW. Coming up I-5, it got a bit nippy. But plug in the vest and put some heat to the trunk, and the cold air hitting my face as it swirled up under the nose of my helmet was bracing, rather than uncomfortable. Much better than dressing up like the Michelin Man, because this adds heat to your body, rather than just preserve whatever heat your body is already producing.

Anyhow, gotta go. The cats had plenty of food, but are meowing for some additional attention. I don't want to make them too unhappy. That might not be good for this penguin's health :-).

-- Badtux the Migratory Penguin

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Big bees

Desert bees build really big hives. See my tiny little motorcycle in the background?!

-- Badtux the Desert Penguin

I can see for miles

I ate lunch amongst the ruins at an altitude high enough for pinion pines. Mt. Whitney is in the background.

-- Badtux the Desert Penguin

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Camping

Penguin style.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Too much freakin' crap

Time to start dumping shit off the side of the bike, when I sit on the bike it sags on its springs until the kickstand is useless because I got too much freakin' crap in the luggage...

On the road

The Green Mule in a parking lot (crappy cell phone image, okay?).

-- Badtux the Wandering Penguin

Mission accomplished!

Pravda on the Hudson announces Baghdad so safe that 20,000 Baghdadis go home.

Hooray! A few thousand returned, 4,000,000 to go. And another 1,000,000 aren’t returning anywhere. Because they’re dead. D-E-A-D. But hey, it’s just a little thinnin’ of the herd on Dubya’s Messopotamian ranchy, it ain’t like they was, like, PEOPLE or nothin’.

The pre-war estimate of Iraq’s population outside of Kurdistan was about 20 million people. In short, our little war for—uhm, what was the war for, again?—has managed to kill or displace 1/4th of the population of Iraq. A few thousand return to Baghdad? Yeah, big accomplishment. Can we just put a “Mission Accomplished” sign over the place and go home, now?!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Forecast: Light blogging

Not going to be around an Internet connection until Thursday...

-- Badtux the Wandering Penguin

Sunday, November 18, 2007

The Penguin's Presidential primary picks

Okay, here's some principles I'm going to use this time. First of all, I'm going to automatically disqualify the "sensible" candidates, those who stick to "conventional wisdom". It was "conventional wisdom" that got us into this mess our nation is in, and "conventional wisdom" ain't gonna get us out. So I say we ought to vote for the nuttiest, flakiest candidates around, because what we need in insane times is a candidate who isn't bothered by insanity.

Oddly enough, the "crazy" candidates in this Presidential race actually make more sense than the "sensible" candidates. Let's take, for example, Republican candidate Ron Paul. Okay, so his proposal to return the U.S. to the gold standard makes absolutely no sense at all. The gold standard automatically builds deflation into the economy, since the amount of gold in circulation rises slower than the amount of goods in the economy. Deflation basically makes dollars more expensive. Deflation is good for rich people with lots of money in the bank, their dollars are now worth more, but is horrible for poor slobs like you and I who actually owe money and have to repay those debts in the now-more-expensive dollars. The gold standard was a major cause of the Great Depression, which is why one of FDR's first acts upon becoming President was to ditch it.

Many of his other proposals are similarly nutty. Still, Ron Paul is the only candidate in the Republican race to not only have voted against the Iraq war, but to have voted against the Patriot Act too. And he's the only Republican to take a clear stand against torture and against "disappearing" terrorists into extraterritorial prisons such as Guantanamo Bay. And he's the only Republican to point out the simple fact that it's America's constant overseas interventions that make America hated, not our "freedoms". As the only anti-war anti-torture pro-habeas-corpus Republican in the race, he is thus the only Republican candidate that any of the few remaining sane Republicans should vote for, no matter how nutty his other beliefs are. In these insane times, Ron Paul's lack of sanity is an advantage, not a disadvantage.

Okay, now over to the Democratic side of things. There is a gnat's difference between the top four candidates other than their gender and ethnicity. You toss their policy proposals on the table and they all pretty much look the same. So let's look at the bottom tier. Mike Gravel is an interesting character, but way too old. He's at a time in his life when he's supposed to be out on his front porch shaking his fist at the kids and yelling "you kids get off my lawn!". Of the rest, there is only one candidate who voted against the Iraq War, voted against the Patriot Act, and proposes a single-payer Medicare for All system for reform of the U.S. health care system, and that's the hobbit -- Dennis Kucinich. Okay, yes he says he saw a UFO. So what? The top candidates didn't see a UFO but they all either voted for the Iraq war or weren't in a position to do so. In these insane times, maybe what we need as President is someone who thinks there's aliens stashed in Area 51. At the very least we might find out whether that's so or not :-).

So that's this penguin's picks for the Republican and Democratic primaries: Ron Paul(R), and Dennis Kucinich(D). Vote for the crazies. Because haven't we had enough fun with the "sensible people" running our country into the ground?!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Changing tires is not a job for wimps

Been busy getting the green mule into traveling shape. The above photo is when I was changing the radiator fluid (and making a mess because the container I drained it into had a leak that I hadn't noticed when I put it under the drain plug on the bottom of the water pump, sigh). That one required removing a bunch of stuff -- side covers, seat, tank, tool tube (that black tube under the bike), skid plate (in front of the bike near that tupperware tool bin). Not difficult, just tedious. Today it's putting the new tires on that you see on the top left of that photo.

Changing dirt bike tires is not a job for wimps, but it's the only way to a) know it's been done right (last time I had a shop do it, the wheel was *not* balanced correctly and they lost one of my really trick stem covers), and b) know you can do it if you get a flat on the trail. I just finished changing the front tire. It took two hours. Now, part of that is because I'm very meticulous. I clean the rim inside and out after I get the tire out, inspect the spoke rubber (tube protector), re-pack the speedometer gear with grease (the bearings are rubber-shielded and sealed so they're immune to being packed with grease, but the speedo gear is not), carefully balance the wheel, powder the tube when I put it in, etc. And in truth, it's not a hard job to change the front tire, it popped off the bead with a firm shove with the axle, then I used a tire spoon/axle wrench combo with a tire iron through the wrench loop to go around the bead and twist the rest off. Then pop it over the rim, pull the tube out, pop the other side of the rim, reverse to install. It's just tedious. Especially the balancing part, though luckily my spoke weight already on the wheel was the right weight to balance it when I got the wheel on my balance rig (the front forks of my bike with the speedo gear removed and the brake wheel cylinder removed to reduce friction to almost zero), it just required relocating the weight about 1/8th of the way around the wheel to make it balance, making this one of the easiest balancing jobs of the past four tire changes I've done on this bike.

But now comes the back tire. That's a PITA, always, because this is a fat tire with short stiff sidewalls that do *not* want to go down into the "pit" between the beads and furthermore does *not* want to go over the side of the rim even when the other side *is* down in the pit. And you have to deal with the chain, and getting the rear brake mechanism (which is on a sliding rail inside the swingarm so it can go back and forth when you adjust the chain) to line up with the axle as you shove it through the hole is always a PITA...

I'll be back in four hours or so with my official endorsements for the Republican and Democratic nominations. They will not be who you expect. Unless you are really acquainted with my bizarre ways of thought, that is :-).

-- Badtux the Wrenchin' Penguin

Friday, November 16, 2007

Bat For Lashes - Trophy

This is an odd bit of art-house indie rock by a Pakistani-Brit (father was Pakistani, mother was British). The cross-cultural influence can definitely be heard in the rhythms and phrasings. Natasha Khan has quite a set of pipes on her too.

-- Badtux the Music Penguin

Action sequence

This is an animated picture that runs for five minutes long. Please watch it carefully. What? You mean it didn't do anything?

Uhm, yeah. After his initial disdainful "what, why are you bothering me?" look, Laundry Cat went back to his vibrating heat soak. This apparently is the cat equivalent of one of those vibrating heated barcaloungers, because no matter how many photos I took over the next five minutes, he didn't budge one millimeter from the position you see.

-- Badtux the Cat-owned Penguin

Thursday, November 15, 2007

71 Names

Jose Luis Montes De Oca Teodoro, Jopey Draper, Bruce Polite, Peter Wah, Duane Mark Anderson, John Joseph Summer, Maria Cook, Estaban Avail, Hoa Pham, Jonathan James Neilson, Diana Lynn Perea, John Carl Riggins, Sara Rose Tevlin, Patricia Ann Harper, Donald Whitfield, Johnny Ruper, Francisco German Moreno, Lavon Jones, David Tgom, Corneilus Vanderviers, Lindi Dileonardo, Allen Richard Stahl, Chris Ramon Juarez, David Pratt, Chris Long, Nicholas Bartell, Robert Ovedo, Efrem Vela, Robert Cisneros, Elva Garcia Navio, Manuel ROdriguez, Margaret Fay, Stanley V. Brockman, Thomas Farmer, Charles Parton, James Collier, Lee Garcia, Alan Ray Alsop, William Martinez, Rachel Richards, Franjo Plese, Deborah Corrine Leonard, Francisco Contreas, Charles Krinard, Efraim Ramirez, Kyle Baron Barnes, Kimberlie McLaughlin, Yolanda Thomas, Constance Hayes, David Sneddon, Donald Whitfield, Timothy Lee Holcomb, David Nicholson, Clovis Bessard, Rodolfo Cale Gonzalez, Hector Pencer, Phillip Lawes, Bruce William Dunn, Stacy Lee Drayton, Lindi Lawrence, Julie Herrera, Ian Brown, Ruth Carley, Emmanuel Gibson, Andrew Payne Mazilli, Sydney Barrett, Quey Xuan Ho, Quativia Johnson, Loveanisha Johnson, Samuel Criado, Ted Quesada

You walked by them as they sat there on the sidewalk, pretending you did not see them. In the wealthiest area (the Silicon Valley) of the wealthiest nation on the planet, they were the invisible people that nobody wants to acknowledge exist. Some were crazy, some were addicted to drugs and alcohol, some simply didn't have a job and were doing their best to try to figure some way to get out of the gutter, but two things all those people -- the youngest 27 years old, the oldest 66 years old -- have in common is this: a) They were homeless, and b)they're all dead, found on the streets, sleeping the big sleep, remembered only by a few social workers and do-gooders who refuse to admit that the richest area of the richest nation of the planet simply doesn't give a shit about anything that doesn't have a picture of a dead President on it.

And so it goes in the United States of Delusion, where we pretend that we are a kind and charitable people. The 71 people above salute you. Or would, if they weren't all dead.

-- Badtux the non-snarky Penguin

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Those Commie Canucks

They think saving lives is more important than bureaucratic silliness. But our brave men and women of ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement, a division of the Department of Homeland Security) corrected them on that one, holding them at the border for eight minutes while a building burned in the town just across the boundary. Because, y'know, it's more important for everybody's papers to be in order than to save lives. Sheesh. Every red-blooded American knows that. These silly Canucks are just lucky that ICE didn't, well, ice them.

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Courtesy of Earthbound Misfit

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

And every day like the last...

I have been slacking off on the news posting lately, I notice. But that is in large part because the news itself has been repeating itself. Iraq is still a mess. Still. A prominent Republican was indicted on corruption charges. Again. Next week, another Republican will be embroiled in a gay or underage sex scandal. Again. I feel as if we are on a roller coaster and we can't get off, we just get to watch the same sights go by over and over again as we whirl around the loop.

Over at Minstrel Boy's place (Harp and Sword), the Minstrel apparently decided to hop off of the roller coaster and go do something else. Good for him. I keep thinking about doing so myself, but I am too... bought... to think too hard about it. Too comfortable. If I emigrated to Canada, for example, I would basically be starting over from scratch, doing the same sort of stuff that I did starting out over here -- driving a rusty old car bought for cheap, living in a spare bedroom that someone rents out to college students, etc. All of which is quite survivable especially with modern resources such as cheap Internet access and so forth, but I am too bought to really want it enough to do it.

And the same is true, unfortunately, for most Americans today. We don't shut down our government and install one that represents the people rather than a secretive and wealthy elite because, well, we're too comfortable. So when the Scaifes of the world tell us, "bend over so I can fuck you up the ass", we just say "thank you, sir! May I have another?" because the alternative is, uhm, well, we might actually have to do something... ick. Ick ick ick. Far better to simply moulder in our chains of silver and gold, wishing it was different... but never making it so.

Badtux the Pensive Penguin

Jeepers!

This is coming to you courtesy of a Nokia N800 Internet Tablet. No moving parts to break while bouncing around in motorcycle luggage, because I am migrating on two wheels for the holidays.

Badtux the Portable Penguin

Monday, November 12, 2007

Granny's got a gun

59-year-old grandmother Army Reservist back from tour of duty in Iraq. Captain Susan Max was given 15 days leave to celebrate her 35th wedding anniversary with her husband, and will be headed back to Iraq in a week. And yes, she carries a gun in an "unsecured" area of Baghdad. She joined the Reserves as a nurse, she is deployed as a Civil Affairs officer because apparently CA officers are in even shorter supply than nurses. That's the folks who work with the pointy tip of the spear, if you know what I mean.

Yep, a nurse has been given a gun and sent into combat. But what do you expect from an administration which allows 25% of veterans lack health insurance coverage? And which doesn't care that 25% of the homeless are veterans? The Busheviks may praise veterans, but really, they don't view them as anything other than political props or nice tin soldiers to move around on the map. What a bunch of friggin' sociopaths...

-- Badtux the Veterans Day Penguin

The shallow end of the gene pool

These following two stories are from a rural Washington State area where, let us say, the gene pool don't run too deep:

1. A 66-year-old man shot himself in both his legs Saturday afternoon while trying to loosen a stubborn lug nut with a 12-gauge shotgun. And surprisingly enough, he was *not* drunk. Obviously a follower of the Dick Cheney school of auto repair. Remember, boys and girls, you should always use the right tool for the job. In this case, 00-buckshot was NOT the right tool. This clearly called for an RPG-7 AP round, or at least Ma Duce (.50 caliber machine gun).

2. Around 10 p.m., several people reported seeing a vehicle towing a 16-foot boat without a trailer. After following a trail of white paint and debris in the road from the driveway where the boat was deposited, an officer arrived at a junkyard on Arsenal Way, reports said. Two men at the junkyard admitted to transporting the boat to the third man's home, saying they were returning it because he had not paid them for an initial removal service. No word on whether a guy was on waterskis behind it at the time, yelling "Faster!".

3. Man who claimed hands and feet were lethal weapons knocked out by attacker. As one commenter said, "Somewhere in Arizona a village is missing their idiot."

Sometimes the snark just writes itself...

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Laundry Cat is not amused

He is, however, bright and shiny clean.

-- Badtux the Laundry Penguin

Borrowed snark

Regarding all the sex scandals involving Republicans recently: "...we should start putting anyone who runs for office as a family values Repub on the sex offender list just to save time." -- Bryan @ Why Now?.

-- Badtux the Outsnarked Penguin

Magic

When I grow up, I want to be able to write songs as good as Bruce Springsteen. The boy is pushin' 60, and gets better every year. (Disclaimer: I'm not THAT much younger, and my songs are pretty darn good too, but not that good).

It takes real chops to write a topical album that'll stand up on its own. The Dixie Chicks managed it with The Long Way Home. Neil Young failed miserably with Living with War. On his latest album Bruce pulls it off, and pulls it off with such slight-of-hand -- such magic -- that it doesn't hit you until later just what you were rockin' down to.

His latest album, Magic, is as good as the buzz says. Musically, it's a Bruce Springsteen album that sounds suspiciously like, say, Darkness on the Edge of Town. Lyrically, Bruce just keeps getting stronger. Bruce's patter at his concerts makes his opinion of our so-called leaders clear, and the lyrics of these songs makes it even clearer... but without bashing your head in. You have to listen, and think. These are grown-up's lyrics, with all the complexity that comes with getting older and maybe a little wiser. These lyrics are the spiritual descendent of songs like Candy's Room and Born in the USA -- songs that at first glance seem to be great rockers, but then you realize that they're about something altogether darker. But these songs, in my opinion, are better. More mature. More subtle. More willing to take chances. Not every song succeeds, but enough do to make this a must-have for this music season.

-- Badtux the Music Penguin

Saturday, November 10, 2007

New gadget

I've been using a Garmin GPSmap 60CSx backpacking GPS on my motorcycle and in my Jeep. The problem is that my beady little penguin eyes just can't see that teensy little screen anymore. Solution: A new motorcycle GPS, the Garmin Zumo 500 Motorcycle Navigator, which also comes with a car cradle w/speaker that'll announce the turns vocally and which will also announce turns via a Bluetooth headset for my helmet. No more need to stare at teensy little screen to know where I'm supposed to be going...

-- Badtux the no-longer-lost Penguin

Friday, November 09, 2007

Trust none of what you hear

... and less of what you see.

- Badtux the Orwellian Penguin

Snarl

The Mighty Fang dares Karlo and his goons at the BAC to stop him...

-- Badtux the Cat-owned Penguin
Ooops, link fixed!

OJ

Orange juice tastes good. It is full of vitamins and minerals. It is a great drink for after you've been exerting yourself to the utmost, because not only does it rehydrate you, it also helps replenish your body's energy and mineral stores.

This is the only OJ post you will ever see me make. I am aware that the media is talking about a different sort of OJ right now, but who gives a rat's ass?

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Whither the "moral compass"?

I just don't know what has happened to this country. Back during the Vietnam War, when it was discovered that U.S. GI's had burned down a village that was thought to be a Viet Cong stronghold, rendering hundreds of civilians homeless, there was outrage. Now we destroy entire cities like Fallujah and there's... (crickets). Back then, the President had to fabricate an attack against America to get support to go to war. Now, the President just says that so-and-so might be a threat sometime, somehow, someway, and the American people happily give him the power to go to war. Back then, Americans were outraged when the President committed criminal acts such as spying on his fellow American citizens. Now... [crickets]. Back then, allegations that the U.S. might send prisoners to 3rd world countries to be tortured ("rendition") would have been treated with horror and disgust. Now, it's "ho hum!".

This nation was hardly perfection during the Vietnam era, but at least we had some moral compass, requiring that the worst atrocities be denied or covered up. Now... not so much.

-- Badtux the Puzzled Penguin

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Did founder of Nuevo KKK steal millions?

CNN implies, but never outright states, that Chris Simcox, founder of the New KKK branch called "Minuteman Defense Corps" whose motto is basically "Keep them Mexicans in their place", stole millions of dollars of donations intended to build an Israeli-style border fence.

If true, I'm not surprised at all. The whole anti-Mexican crusade has been a red herring from the beginning, intended to divert attention from the fact that the reason these Mexicans are here is because our ruling elite prefers to hire illegal Mexican slaves rather than free Americans when it comes to hiring workers. Otherwise the Mexicans wouldn't have a chance in hell of competing with better-trained better-educated American workers. It is the fact that they are illegal, not the fact that they work for cheap, that has allowed the Mexicans to drive American workers out of the construction industry -- contractors appreciate workers who have no rights, who can be ripped off with impunity, who can't complain about unsafe working conditions or lack of restrooms or etc. because the contractor could call La Migra on them, and the whole money thing is just icing on the cake.

Fundamentally, the anti-Mexican crusade is bought and paid for by the same people who hire the illegals, in order to make sure that the illegals stay illegal. Because if they became legal, they'd have rights. Can't have that. In short, the whole anti-Mexican crusade is a scam run by and for the same people responsible for bringing the illegals in, and if Wilcox scammed people out of money, it would be no surprise at all -- I don't know if he was in on the scam from the beginning, but a scam is a scam, and eventually scammers show their true stripes.

-- Badtux the Scam-spottin' Penguin

I'm in my happy place

No, you don't get to know why...

-- Badtux the Happy Happy Penguin

WTF?

Who cares about whether Hillary left a tip at her table, or whether a campaign worker instead added a tip to the bill at the cash register? Uhm, shouldn't we learn something about her policies, about what she's going to do as President?

This is it. This is what our so-called "press" has degenerated into. It's fucking Entertainment Tonite, identical to their coverage of "I'm with crazy!" Katie Holmes+nutty hubby and Brittney Speares' latest child custody hearing. Covering the campaign to choose the next President of the United States, arguably the most powerful leader of any nation since Julius Caesar strode the earth, as if it were just some Hollyweird gossip column is.. bizarre. More than bizarre. It is a crime, and I suggest that every single "reporter" who does that kinda shit ought to be flogged with limp noodles and relegated to a job as a pooper scooper at the Barnum & Bailey Circus.

-- Badtux the Eye-rollin' Penguin

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

#!%@ Motorcycle wiring!

I'm wiring up my headlamp to relays for the low and hi beams, hooked to 14 gauge wiring instead of the wimpy wire that Kawasaki shipped with the KLR. Now, understand, I already have hacked the wiring system on my KLR in a way that makes this job easier. I already had a fuse block under the left side of the cowling that has 14 gauge wire going all the way to the battery, and the only real current draw on that fuse block is the 35 watt grip heaters -- everything else (cruise control, GPS, voltmeter, etc.) is very low draw. When I had to replace the stock headlight socket because I managed to melt it with a 100 watt bulb (oops!), I also used "bullet" connectors inline to connect the old wiring to the new wires in the headlight socket, so that I could later add this relay mod.

Only thing is, I forgot just how cramped and difficult to work in it is under that cowling. Plus the #$%@# wiring is just plain *out of control*. I have more wires than air under there now!

Good thing I don't live in West Scranton, PA or I might really be fucked... Oh well. Got the high beam relay working tonight. Made a *significant* difference in how much light I got out of the dim glow-worm that is the front headlight of the KLR. Next I do the low-beam relay. Oh joy.

Next bike, I buy the bleepin' Eastern Beaver relay kit and be done with it. All this wire-cutting and connector-crunching is for the birds, and I ain't talkin' penguins!

-- Badtux the Wrenchin' (and cursin') Penguin

Bad cop, no donut!

When cops in Phoenix got an anonymous phone call that a guy was suicidal, they went and knocked on his door. When he didn't answer because he was wearing earplugs to sleep, they broke in through the garage, setting off a very loud alarm that woke him up, and then ran when he responded by running to his bedroom and grabbing a gun to deal with the unknown intruders. The Phoenix PD then proceeded to set up a seige of his house and threaten him with death for scaring their two cops. I guess if he'd really been suicidal, he would have stepped out the door with the rifle. Since he wasn't suicidal and that's why they were at the house to begin with, to check whether he was suicidal, the cops should have simply left -- but instead, the guy has been in jail since August for, err, not being suicidal.

Meanwhile, in Philadelphia a guy was sleeping on his couch when two cops broke in his front door. While he was still sleeping, they tasered him, then when that woke him up, he produced his ID showing that he lived there, and the cops tasered him again. Apparently forgetting to turn off your silent alarm is a crime punishable via cattle-prodding in Philadelphia...

We have the funniest little police state here in the United States. It's what I call the "soft" police state, where we have the largest number of police offers per capita of any nation on the planet and more prisoners per capita than any other nation on the planet, yet, because in general police are only harrassing "those" people for "driving while brown", the majority of Americans don't see the sort of pervasive and oppressive police presence that is usually associated with the words "police state"...

-- Badtux the Observant Penguin

Uh oh, I might get arrested for working on my motorcycle...

Woman arrested for disorderly conduct for cursing at her backed-up toilet near an open window.

Good thing it's winter and my garage door is closed while I'm working on my motorcycle... especially after I manage to slice my hand open on a sharp edge or somethin'... just sayin', y'know?!

-- Badtux the Obscene Penguin

Don't mess with me

'cause I got friends in high places, dude, and they'll rip you a new orifice if you do. See?!

-- Badtux the Cat-protected Penguin
For LabKat, who notes that if we don't blog about the craziness of the Bushevik regime, we'd have nothing to blog about other than our cats...

Why motorcyclists wear black

Why do you think? Do you think it's because motorcyclists want to scare people or something?

Actually, it's a lot simpler than that, and explains why my riding gear is black and/or dark gray rather than, say, Hi-Viz Yellow (though I may wear a Hi-Viz construction vest for more visibility). The problem is that riding a motorcycle is a dirty greasy business. First off is the motorcycle itself, especially motorcycles with chains, which are notorious for flinging oil and dirt all over the place. This tends to get greasy grime all over your riding pants. Then there's road grime flung up by cars in front of you when it is raining. I had a Hi-Viz riding jacket that, over the course of four years, slowly went from being bright yellow to a dingy shade of gray not because of grease or dirt but because of that oily greasy slime kicked up by the tires of cars in front of me whenever it rained. That's why my new jacket was black and dark gray and I rely on a cheap disposable Hi-Viz vest for my visiblity. Then there's the times when the roads department pours sealant into cracks in the road, which seems to get kicked up by tires too. And the times you need to kneel to check maintenance items such as tire pressure and chain tension, or where you're cleaning or lubricating the chain, where your knee pads are getting a workout and where pants a color other than black would start looking grimy and dirty.

In other words, black is because any other color starts looking nasty quickly when you're riding long distances on a motorcycle. We're not trying to scare you. Honest!

-- Badtux the Motorized Mule-ridin' Penguin

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Sometimes I wonder...

What would the Bush Administration be like if it wasn't staffed with crazy racist people?

Might as well wonder what Mars would be like if it had oceans and trees, I suspect... I mean, we're talking fiction, after all. A Bush Administration official who wasn't a crazy racist person? C'mon, pull the other one!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Critics of universal health care hate democracy

Poll after poll over a period of years show that the American public is dissatisfied with the current U.S. healthcare system, a dissatisfaction backed up by year after year of international comparison surveys, and those same polls say that the American public wants universal health care for all Americans, guaranteed by the federal government. Yet no Republican is willing to make such a guarantee, and only one Democratic candidate (Dennis Kucinich) is willing to make such a guarantee. The other Democratic candidates intend to either not have universal health care (Obama) or have an unrealistic plan to force Americans at gunpoint to buy private health insurance (Clinton, Edwards, Richardson).

How is it that we have arrived at this point, where the vast majority of candidates for the Presidency clearly hate democracy? Discuss.

-- Badtux the Healthcare Penguin

Monday, November 05, 2007

Thought for the day

A dog may feel gratitude towards a master who throws him a few scraps from the largesse of the master's table. A man never will.

(Comment at The Mockingbird's Medley, BBC).

Ghosts

1. We were both kids. He was my next-door neighbor. He was fourteen, lean and athletic, handsome in that dark Cajun way. His mother left him notes that ended with "I love you." I was jealous as hell, no way that my own parents would ever say or write anything like that, not to mention that I could never have dreamed of being as athletic as he was. The gigantic photo of his big brother, in LSU football regalia, hanging on the wall in the downstairs hall didn't register. Eventually we moved out of that rental home to successively worse and worse places as my father slowly fell into early-onset Alzheimer's and was no longer able to work, but it was a small town and I always knew what was going on, about the successive bad boyfriends that his mother brought home, about him going to live with his father and working in his father's wrecking yard after school and during summers, about the day he committed suicide by crashed his car into a bridge pylon at 100mph. Apparently he always felt he could not live up to his big brother the football hero and one day decided to end it. That was twenty years ago, more or less. I don't know why I was thinking about that when I woke up yesterday morning. I don't feel guilty about his death in any way or anything like that, the memory just popped out of nowhere for no reason I can think of.

2. The Mighty Fang stuck a claw out and ripped a gash in my little finger because I was ignoring him and talking to my brother on the phone when TMF wanted me to get out of bed and feed him. I went to the bathroom and grabbed a bandage out of the first aid basket. This basket is a Christmas basket, stuffed with first aid supplies and stashed in the laundry closet. A little over ten years ago as I was walking out the door of my home next-door to my grandmother's one of my aunts, now deceased, dropped a Christmas gift basket off with me as I was walking out the door to go somewhere and asked me to give it to my grandmother for her. I promptly stashed it somewhere and headed back out to do whatever errand I was going to do and forgot about it, and months later came across it again and was stumped as to which aunt gave it to me for my grandmother so never did anything with it other than eat the food items (summer sausage and cheese). Now they're all dead, for close to ten years, and I still feel guilty about that damned basket every time I go to grab a bandage. I guess that's what differentiates me from Darth Cheney, who feels no guilt at all about sending men to their deaths for the profit of Halliburton, but you'd think that after all this time I'd stop beating myself over the head about that damned Christmas basket...

-- Badtux the Ghost-plagued Penguin

Friday, November 02, 2007

Cat university

Ever wonder how it is that cats all over the lefty blogosphere all seem to have the same set of "awe, so cute!" behaviors? Well, I'm going to divulge one of those things that lefties don't want you to know. There is, in fact, a Vast Left-wing Conspiracy. It is not, however, run by humans. Rather, it is run by the real bosses in those humans' households: Their cats. Why do you think their cats get so much face time on their blogs?!

The Vast Left-wing Conspiracy runs schools to teach lefties proper behavior. Here, for example, Mencken teaches his human the proper technique for half-head ear rubs: -- Badtux the Cat-owned Penguin

Welcome

To the newest member of the vast left-wing conspiracy. Sane conservative John Cole gives the middle finger to the Republican party, re-registers as a Democrat. Says he: "I certainly don’t agree with all their positions, but they are not bat-shit crazy like the GOP. That has to count for something."

Yeah, John, it counts for something, but not much. In the end, we're still all fucked good and hard up every orifice until the vast majority of the people decide that our current leadership class (Republicans and Democrats both) is morally and intellectually corrupt and needs to be either booted out of power or, if they refuse to relinquish power, strung up from the nearest lamp-post. Until then, if the Democrats nominate a cheese sandwich, I'm voting for the cheese sandwich. But only because it's not bat-shit crazy like the GOP, not because I expect the cheese sandwich to do anything for me other than sit there and quietly molder.

-- Badtux the Cynical Penguin

What an asshole

Stupid asshole kiddies advocate inconveniencing millions to get back at "The Man".

Sigh. While accurate in some respects (specifically, about the fact that the U.S. Government is the most powerful entity that has ever existed during the history of this planet, and fighting it is like fighting a mountain, the reason the U.S. government isn't particularly oppressive is because it's so powerful that it doesn't have to be), the rest... bah.

Slow down traffic? What an asshole. All you do is make me waste gas, or if I'm riding my motorcycle to work like I did this morning, make me pass between you (lane splitting is legal here in California). Besides, I don't need to be physically at the office to work. If somehow you managed to bring the entire SF Bay area to a standstill, I'd just telecommute from home. Crap, I don't even have an "office telephone", I have a company-issued cell phone so that my "office" can be anywhere.

Keep your kid from doing homework? Bah. As a former teacher, I can tell you that it wouldn't make a hill of beans of difference to me. As long as your attitude-problem child does not interfere with the learning of other students in the class I would have been happy to allow your kid to be as stupid as his parents want him to be.

Cover up surveillance cameras? Good luck with that one. Most of ours live over intersections and are used to set signal timing and issue congestion warnings. My employer has cameras all over the place pointed at areas we want to be safe, but all that spray-painting them does is cause us to spend money to replace them that we'd really want to use to take on the behemoth corporations that tiny little us is competing with.

As for the other stuff that anarchist idiots often advocate, such as, e.g., a national strike... err, most folks work for small businesses. My employer has a total of 30 employees on American soil, and none of us are rich, and thanks to employee stock options we own a significant part of the company. Why would we want to go on strike against ourselves? I can see it if you work for some big faceless corporation owned by our slave master elites, but really, if you're hostile to our powerful elite, why are you working for them in the first place? And how, exactly, would our going on strike hurt our elites anyhow?

As for the bombing and crap like Baghdad... well, violence scares people. People do violence only if they see no real alternative. Otherwise they'll put up with a lot of shit before they'll do anything violent. Saddam's Iraq, for example, was quite peaceful despite Saddam's viciousness, because while Iraqis had the ability to rise up in violence against the regime, they didn't have the will -- they viewed Saddam's viciousness as preferable to violence. Folks who recommend violence as a method of overthrowing the most powerful government ever to exist on this planet are advocating madness. As Gov. Earl Long of Louisiana was reputed to have told the Legislature when urged to fight a desegregation order, "Are you kidding? We're talking about the government of the U S of A here, they got the goddamned ATOMIC BOMB!".

In the end, people are going to wake up and make things change only when things get so bad that there's no alternative, and even then, the sheeple will merely shift power from one elite power group to another. We are, after all, talking about monkeys. Monkeys are genetically wired to follow an alpha male. That aspect of monkeys will change about the same time that penguins can flap their flippers and fly. We are all, in the end, prisoners of our biology.

-- Badtux the Flightless Penguin

Thursday, November 01, 2007

One of those days

I is tired wurk tooƂ hard

One of those deadline days and the stupid bug refuses to be fixed no matter how many workarounds I throw at it... sigh...

Time to sleep.

-- Badtux the Tired Penguin

Slaves

Let's say you're broken down by the side of the road. You step out and open the hood, then stand by the car looking at it helplessly because the radiator hose has split wide open and let your car's life blood run out. You pull out your cell phone to call AAA, and discover that it has no bars -- there's no cell phone service here. Now what?

Now, let's say that two cars are coming down the road. One is a new BMW. The other is a rusty old pickup truck. You try to flag them down. Which one will stop?

If you said "the rusty old pickup truck", you are absolutely correct. I saw this happen myself. A Chinese guy managed to crash his car into the mountainside, and the guy who stopped to help was your typical redneck-looking guy with a scruffy beard and greasy hair driving an old pickup truck. The redneck finally pulled out a chain from the back of pickup and towed the Chinese guy to the nearest source of food and shelter, a small campground and restaurant about a mile away. But why? Why would someone who doesn't have much be the one to stop, while the person in the expensive new car goes right by? And what does this say about the way liberals stereotype rednecks as a bunch of violent evil misfits who should be exterminated as a menace to society (squeal like a pig, huh)?

Discuss.

-- Badtux the Slavery-observing Penguin
Comment at the Mockingbird's place...

As the Iraqis stand up...

Iraqi Army being trained by a U.S. trainer:

Wait -- you mean we're going to give these guys guns?

If the criteria for getting out of Iraq is that these guys will take our place, we're gonna be there for a hundred years...

-- Badtux the "Laughing sadly" Penguin