Monday, November 26, 2007

Beware the Photos of Mass Destruction!

It seems that finally the U.S. military is going to do something about Bilal Hussein, a member of the AP's 2005 Pulitzer Prize-winning photo team that they've held without charges for 19 months now. They're going to send him to an Iraqi court with only a few hours notice for his defense attorney to prepare a defense for the crime of, err, ah... uhm, well, not shooting at people… not blowing up people… but, uhm, err… taking photographs of bad people.

Wow. Musta killed a lotta people with his camera. Why, our brave men and women in uniform just trembled in terror when this sod came at them with his dastardly Camera of Mass Destruction. I can see it now, our brave GI’s on patrol in Ramadi, and suddenly… a soldier falls to the ground. “Sarge! I’m hit! I’m hit!” “What’s the matter, Private?” “The nasty terrorists … TOOK A PICTURE OF ME! Oh the horror!” “Medic!” (Medic trots up, looks at the dying soldier writhing on the ground, looks back at the Sarge). “I’m sorry, Sarge, there’s nothing to be done. He’s been killed by… by… A PHOTOGRAPH OF MASS DESTRUCTION!”.

Phew, boy are we lucky that the perpetrator of such dastardly deeds against our soldiers is now off the streets! But never fear. If the Iraqi court releases this evil heinous perpetrator of Photos of Mass Destruction, the U.S. military has sworn that it'll take custody of him themselves again so that he will not use his camera to perpetrate photos of mass destruction again. I feel safer! Yeargh! U S A Fuck yeah!

—Badtux the Snarky Penguin


  1. He's now an embarrassment to the administration, so no matter what the "evidence", he has to go. He'll have a kangaroo court show trial and they'll put him away.

    I have a question. If the Iraqi courts are good enough for a reporter imprisoned by the military, how come they're not good enough for trying Blackwater guards who shoot civilians?

  2. VIA Agonist, we find that penguin cams are operational at the O'Higgins station in Antarctica. They also have a gallery of past rogues.

  3. Cameras steal your soul, everyone knows that.

    It is all part of the propaganda war that the terrorists are winning because dastardly photographers keep taking pictures that show that war isn't nice and people get splattered about when you drop bombs on them.

    Facts have a well documented liberal bias - photographs are especially liberal.

  4. Our government is not ours. It has become a mean spirited entity without logic, but with hate, fear, paranoia, and ignorance as its fuel has turned into vicious monster.

  5. But but was a super secret Islamofascist camera designed to suck out the soul of unsuspecting coalition troops! This man is a national security risk. He must be held indefinitely.


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