Thursday, April 12, 2012

Time-traveling fetus

Arizona just declared that pregnancies in the state begin two weeks before conception.

What, fetuses in Arizona are equipped with tiny time machines to travel back in time to two weeks *before* sperm meets ova in the womb? What next, the Arizona lege defines pi as being exactly 3, and that carbon dioxide is a protected species?!

- Badtux the Baffled Penguin


  1. So do,deadbeat dads have to start paying child support two weeks before conception?

  2. That would be a trick. Starting to pay child support two weeks before you get to fsck her? Ya right!

  3. The Professional Left Podcast suggested the whole reason is so when a certain ultrasound is done, at a scheduled time, it happens before you would see whether or not your fetus is viable. This is intended to cut down on the abortions of pre-dead and severely disabled fetuses.

  4. Of course, this opens up some interesting legal possibilities.

    Since any woman can theoretically now be pregnant (at any given moment,) via legal retro-grandfathering-in of potential future impregnation, then any interaction she has with a man (physical violence, receiving the stinkeye, a mild conversation, seeing him on television, etc.) can be correctly listed as a direct potential cause of her not becoming future-pregnant. Two weeks later. (Like, stepping on a butterfly in the distant past, you grok?)

    So every male Republican politician in Arizona, or visible from within Arizona, is daily responsible for millions of aborted fetuses. Millions of slaughtered potential second comings of Jesus.

  5. All you have to do is pass a law that makes it illegal for women to engage in activities that could be harmful to a fetus (such as many jobs) and then because any women of child bearing age is always potentially pregnant within two weeks, you can *really* make women second class citizens.

    "Sorry honey, no beer at the ball game for YOU. You might harm your soon to be conceived fetus!"

    "Sorry sweetie, this executive job is really high pressure and that might harm your potential fetus. Back to the typing pool with you!"

  6. The Aristocrats blog had an awesome joke. It said that all Arizona women should name their periods and declare them as dependents on their state tax forms.

    I'd like to see it taken one step further, and have every woman make a life insurance claim every month from now on. (Are there family life insurance plans? Well, there ought to be some way to make corporations suffer for this injustice.)


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