Gonzo Gone

Why does this feel almost anti-climactic?

Good riddance to a man who made John Friggin' ASHCROFT look like a super competent Attorney General. At least Ashcroft wouldn't sign off on illegal wiretapping and otherwise had at least some respect for rule of law despite his awkward habit of holding prayer meetings in the Justice Department conference rooms. Gonzo, on the other hand, had only one legal philosophy in his quiver: "If the President does it, it's not illegal." Y'know, I wasn't a big fan of John Ashcroft, so when I say that Alberto Gonzales makes Ashcroft look good... that makes Gonzo really, really awful.

Oh, about the timing: Expect Dear Leader to make a recess appointment of another Bushevik ideologue shortly. That's why Gonzo resigned while Congress was out of session. I'm surprised the announcement hasn't already been made. It's not as if Dear Leader is fearing being un-electorated, after all. He done got electorated. What's Congress gonna do to him, pelt him with bad words? As Momma used to say, "Sticks and stones break bones but words will never hurt you." Yeah, like Dear Leader is real scared of Congress... as long as there's not 66 votes for impeachment in the Senate, he's just gonna smirk 'till he leaves office. (And unlike some, I believe he WILL leave office -- Dear Leader is just the "face man" for the con, and has outworn his value to the con, it's time for a new "face").

-- Badtux the Politics Penguin

Gonzo Gone Watch continues

Senator Tom Coburn (R-Oklahoma) isn't really known to be a Commie faggot-loving liberal. He's called for the death penalty for abortionists, said that the country was under attack by a secret gay conspiracy that had “infiltrated the very centers of power in every area across this country." He once said that in the town of Coalgate, Oklahoma, "Lesbianism is so rampant in some of the schools in Southeast Oklahoma that they'll only let one girl go to the bathroom. Now think about it." Ole' Tommy Boy, despite his physicians' oath to "first do no harm", is also a firm advocate of torture, and enjoys regaling interns with pictures of dead fetuses and STD-afflicted vaginas. In short, Dr. Tom is the wingnut's wingnut, nuttier than pecan praline that's mated with peanut brittle and hatched a bowl of mixed nuts.

Yesterday, however, Dr. Tom had enough. After four hours of Attorney General Gonzo answering "I don't recall" to each and every question, either lying or having the memory of a newt (no no, the lizard, not the Grinch), Dr. Tom pounded his meaty fists on the table and bellowed, "It was handled incompetently. The communication was atrocious. You ought to suffer the consequences that these others have suffered, and I believe that the best way to put this behind us is your resignation."

This sentiment was also echoed by other notorious liberals such as Senator John "Man-on-turtle" Cornyn (R-Texas), Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa). Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), and Arlen Specter (R-Pa.).

Gonzo is *so* fried... and it couldn't have happened to a better person. So I'm just going to sit here sipping soda and smirking at the sight of Abu "I love Torture" Gonzales sweating buckets as his beady little eyes whirl frantically around looking for anything, anyone, that might seem even a teensy bit sympathetic to his plight...

-- Badtux the Sadistic Penguin

A little comment for right-wing readers: watching Gonzo sweat is funny no matter *what* your politics. How many different ways can one man say "I can't recall" anyhow?! BTW, it was his outright fibbing and lying, not the actual act of firing the attorneys, that had the Republican senators irate. If Gonzo had simply come out and said "Yes, I fired these attorneys because their politics did not match the goals of our administration", there would have been tut-tutting from the Democrats (of course) but no problem with the Republicans. But then he had to come out and *LIE* about it. Just like the Clenis lied about that blow job. Just like that.

Gonzo is *SO* Gone

From World Nut Daily, voice of crazed Republican fanatics everywhere: Embattled AG now accused in sex scandal 'cover-up'; Attorney General Gonzales among officials who allegedly ignored abuse of minor boys.

Oh brother. If you're a Republican and World Nut Daily has turned on you, it means that the Party has turned on you. Better polish up your resume, Gonzo. I hear the Bush mansion in Kennebunkport needs a new gardener...

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Gonzo Gone Watch

Alberto Gonzales Death Watch continues. Good. Gonzo is an evil venal little toady who defends the indefensible (torture). But it won't be this week or next week. Gonzo knows too much about where the bodies are buried. Gonzo ain't gone until his Medal of Freedom is ready.

Past that point, his job prospects are... maybe the Bush mansion needs a gardener, eh? Boy, I'd love to see the look on his face when Babs makes that offer!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin