It was announced today that Darth Cheney will speak at the Republican National Convention. It is expected that Darth Cheney will remind Americans that voting for the Jedi Obi-wan Obama will result in terrorists swimming the Atlantic Ocean from Iraq, sneaking into their bedrooms in the middle of the night, and killing them all. The smell of brimstone is expected not to bother the assembled Republicans, given their propensity for raping young girls (and their mothers), having inappropriate relationships with teenage interns, accosting various strangers in gay gloryholes (but they aren't gay, no sirree!), and having sex with mules, box turtles, and the occasional basset hound.
However, the pathetic stench of flop sweat emitting from the Bush Administration may cause many Republicans to skip Darth Cheney's speech and instead catch it on their hotel room's television... after all, who wishes to be in the audience when someone whose popularity rating is only barely above that of genital herpes is speaking?
No word on whether Darth Cheney will bring his imperial storm troopers with him, or will simply use The Force to strangle anybody who does not appropriately clap and cheer upon prompt...
-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin
May the Farce bw with you.......
ReplyDeleteSupposedly, Ted Stevens and Susan Collins are not attending (re-election campaigns, ya know). Other Republicans are rather antsy about showing up.
ReplyDeleteBoy, this is going to be one fun convention. Will they also invite Jack Abramoff to give a speech by satellite from jail?