A matter of jurisdiction and standing

So birthers in Georgia filed complaints with the Georgia Secretary of State that Obama wasn't eligible to be President because he wasn't natural-born (apparently he was born artificially in a test tube?), and the Secretary of State sighed and put the matter in the hands of an administrative law judge to decide. Now, administrative law judges aren't exactly criminal or civil judges. Really, they're not judges at all in the traditional sense of the word. Instead, they make decisions about whether state regulations are being properly applied or not. They are, in essence, clerks, not judges in the traditional sense of the word.

So anyhow, O'Really Taitz was one of the complainants, and promptly subpoena'ed Obama to testify at the hearing via filing service on Obama's Georgia lawyer. Said lawyer than complained that this was nonsense, you couldn't subpoena a sitting President into what's essentially an administrative proceeding internal to the Georgia state government that should simply review the last two dozen court rulings against Taitz and dismiss the complaint out of hand, there was no jurisdiction to subpoena Obama because Obama was not a citizen of the state of Georgia and thus not subject to the jurisdiction of the state of Georgia. The administrative law judge said "Oh yeah? Well I'm going to uphold the subpoena anyhow!"

So there it stands. Obama's lawyer basically said "Screw this, you have no jurisdiction and we will not participate, you've stamped your subpoena, now enforce it." Which is going to be problematic, because see, the Constitution sort of foresaw this problem, and made the President a citizen of the District of Columbia and thus subject only to Federal law for actions he takes as President. The only court with jurisdiction is the Federal District Court in D.C., not some podunk administrator in Atlanta. The only court that Obama must answer to as President is that court, not some clerk in Atlanta. And the lawyer for Obama *couldn't* participate, because participating would implicitly imply that this over-titled clerk had jurisdiction to issue a subpoena, which would open the flood gates to every clerk in every city hall who had a beef against the President issuing a subpoena to their own dog and pony fiasco.

Which, BTW, is an apt description of what actually happened when the hearing actually got underway. No lawyer for Obama. No Obama. Just a circus side-show of freaks and lunatics that were so ridiculous that even the administrative law judge, who is apparently a hard-core Republican but not an insane one, started cutting them off while rolling eyes and sighing heavily.

And no ruling, of course. I'm sure he wants to be well away from that collection of lunatics before he issues a ruling, probably via having a courier deliver it rather than announcing it in person. Because by this time it *has* to be obvious to him exactly what kind of people he's dealing with and that ruling any way other than the obvious (that a dude born in Hawaii is a natural-born citizen as defined by the Constitution) will result in the sort of circus that will consume his life.

-- Badtux the Law Penguin

Okay, this is fugling crazy

I just got an email from Costco. They're offering me discounted tickets to the Super Bowl for the low, low price of -- get this -- $3,000.

Yes, that's right. $3,000 to go watch a buncha fat millionaires play a children's game. Uhm, yeah. Maybe Mitt Romney can afford to blow three grand to watch a buncha fat millionaires play a children's game, but I got better things to do with my money, like, well, anything, actually...

-- Badtux the WTF Penguin

High road

The Trishas, "Clockwork". This is thus far an unreleased song. Enjoy.

-- Badtux the Music Penguin

On the border

The Walkabouts, "Bordertown", off their album Watermarks.

-- Badtux the Music Penguin

Wal-Mart slaves pay more taxes than Romney

Left unmentioned during all the fuss and furor about Mitt Romney's 13.9% tax rate in 2010 is the fact that Wal-Mart slaves laboring for minimum wage pay a higher percentage of their income as taxes than Romney does. Yes, they don't pay *income* taxes, but they most definitely pay *payroll* taxes, which currently stand at 15.3% if you combine the employer portion and paycheck portion together, which you want to do if you're talking about taxes, as well as pay an average 9.7% sales tax on the percentage of their income that goes to non-shelter items, for an effective tax rate of around 20%.

So is it fair that Mitt gets to pay lower taxes for sitting around and letting his investment advisers move his money around than is paid by someone who works for a living? Uhm... do you need *me* to answer that question for you?!

-- Badtux the Snarky Numbers Penguin

Google's new slogan...

BE EVIL. Not only are they going to invade your privacy in a massive way, but they are not going to allow you to opt out of this invasion of your privacy -- which, I might add, means they will be violating a new law soon to be passed in the EU to give you the right to be forgotten (i.e., in the EU it shall shortly be *illegal* to not give an opt-out option).

And that's not the only way they've been evil lately. Their stance against freedom of speech in the matter of the Google+ social network is well-known. As an experiment, a researcher used a privacy relay tool often used by people who live in repressive countries and created a Google account. This privacy relay tool routed his Internet requests through a server in France (he didn't choose the exit server, that was chosen by the privacy relay tool in question), at which point he was using Google's French servers. He told Google that he was a male born in 1957 who lived in Iran, and for the telephone number gave the phone number of the Iranian embassy in America (note that he's using Google's French servers from a French IP address to do all this). Then he attempted to sign up for Google Plus with a pseudonym that would protect him from being killed by his government if he were truly an Iranian attempting to set up an account where he and his fellow dissidents could communicate with each other. The results were... err... see for yourself (click on the picture for full size, and the language was reset to English before the snapshot because I'm sure you don't want to read French):

Yep, Google is against Freedom.

Evil. Just sayin'.

-- Badtux the Freedom-lovin' Penguin

The state of the onion...

Is tears.

Just sayin'.

Didn't watch, listen to, or read the State of the Union address or its response. If I want bullshit, I'll head up to one of the local ranches and frolick in their barn.

Instead, I cooked corn tortillas and had Mexican-spicy beans, jalapenos, and salad. Penance for the sinful cookies, I suppose, since all of this was basically no-fat and fairly low in calories. As for the cookies, I took them to work and they didn't last 15 minutes. Like piranhas, I tell ya!

-- Badtux the "What smells?" Penguin

WTF?!

This is WarPaint, "Undertow", off their album The Fool. And I am quite baffled by the fact that these women's music is getting millions of views on YouTube, given that two years ago they were utterly unknown and even today you'll never hear their stuff on the radio, at least not on *these* shores...

-- Badtux the Music Penguin

Cookies!

From this recipe:

And on the cooling rack (yes, this is an old refrigerator rack, why do you ask?):

Awefully unhealthy, given that it's two sticks of butter. Oh well, I didn't want to live forever anyhow :).

PS: How did I get those so round? Simple: Ice cream scoop. F*** that "spoon onto cookie sheet" nonsense :).

-- Badtux the Baking Penguin

France outlaws Holocaust denial

One of the notions that those squishy Yurpeens and Canucks have decided upon is that freedom of speech stops at the point that a) it's false, and/or b) it incites hatred against groups of people. Truth is always a defense, but once truth has been established beyond a reasonable doubt, denying the truth is not a free speech right.

So France has passed a law now stating that publically denying a particular historical fact is illegal in France, and in response, Turkey has thrown a hissy fit. Wait, Turkey? Yes. Because the historical fact in question is the Armenian Genocide, and despite the fact that this is established historical fact, with well-established research showing it happened, Turkey continues to act like a Nazi sympathizer that says "the Holocaust never happened!".

What is baffling to me is why Turkey even cares. This happened years before the modern state of Turkey was created. I can see why they wouldn't want to dwell on it -- just as U.S. history books don't dwell on the genocide of the Native Americans that happened as us white people stole their land -- but this is ridiculous. The Armenian Genocide happened. Denying this is ridiculous and makes you look like an idiot to the rest of the world. If Turkey is trying to impress the EU in order to get entry into the EU, this isn't how to do it -- it just makes them look like a bunch of hot-headed neo-Nazis denying the Holocaust, and makes most Europeans wince and quietly make jokes behind Turkish diplomats' backs unfavorably comparing them to skinheads and other right-wing Holocaust deniers.

-- Badtux the News Penguin

Google: Still evil.

Google + is notorious for not allowing pseudonyms. Today, Google said they'll allow some pseudonyms. But only under very specific circumstances.

They don't get it. Using your real name on the Internet is fine if all you're doing is sharing recipes with your grandkids. But if you're engaging in political discussion on the Internet, using your real name can be dangerous to your health and safety. In repressive fascist regimes, using your real name on the Internet and espousing politics that are not sanctioned by the heads of the fascist brownshirts can result in your child's cat being cruely murdered, your car windows smashed and tires slashed, or even being shot and killed.

It's as if they want to shut up all us political types. Evil. Simply evil. That is all.

-- Badtux the Pseudonymous Penguin

An armed society is...

*NOT* a polite society.

According to the Murky News: "Six people, including several teens, were rushed to the hospital Saturday night after an argument at a sweet 16 party led to gunfire. Investigators said 30 to 40 partygoers were in the home's garage when an argument started. The dispute escalated to the point that people pulled out guns and began firing. Police said "multiple" guns were involved and "numerous" shots were fired."

Folks: Robert Heinlein wrote *FICTION*. Heinlein himself admitted that the intention of his works was to get beer money, not to create any grand philosophical statements. Libertarians who view his works as gospel are viewing works that the author admitted were just paid lies as gospel, which makes those libertarians, well, either gullible or stupid. Reality is that an armed society is no more polite than any other society. It's just that in an armed society when folks get irate, they start plugging at each other with firearms rather than with fists.

- Badtux the Reality-based Penguin

Yucky heart

This is British indie band Yuck, with their song "Stutter" off their self-titled debut album.

-- Badtux the Music Penguin

Italian drivers

I haven't said much about the Costa Concordia shipwreck. The Italian driver jokes pretty much tell themselves, as do the jokes about the unlucky captain's excuse for abandoning ship before everybody was off (he "slipped" and fell into a lifeboat, how lucky!). But this satellite photo of the Costa Concordia from orbit gives you an idea of just how friggin' big that ship really *is* -- and shows you exactly how close it was to land when it ran aground. That ship had no business being anywhere near that island...

-- Badtux the Orbital Penguin

Girl eyes

I guess if you've managed to release two albums, you're no longer a novelty band.

This is Dum Dum Girls with another of their 60s-girl-band-inspired songs, "Bedroom Eyes", off their new album Only in Dreams.

-- Badtux the Music Penguin

Trying a new biscuit recipe...

I'm still trying to get rid of that whole wheat flour. It just doesn't act right. If you've dealt with whole wheat flour you know what I mean, it's not as sticky as regular all-purpose flour and it doesn't have the right texture and it's heavier and etc., so I'm trying to substitute it for half of the flour in regular substitutes and it's not turning out right.

So now I'm trying biscuits with half the flour substituted with whole wheat. And it's not acting right, my biscuits ended up a bit heavier than usual, though they're still nicely buttery and flakey enough and certainly *taste* like biscuits are supposed to taste, even if they aren't quite right...

Ah well. I still have a bunch of whole wheat flour to go through, so I'll have to play with this some more. The amount of butter is what made them flaky (though a bit denser than usual), but they're a bit *too* buttery because of the greater density caused by the whole wheat flour. So maybe I'll substitute a couple tablespoons of shortening for a couple tablespoons of butter. Or maybe try the vodka trick that someone mentioned here a while back, for getting a good consistency without activating the glutens (these biscuits aren't tough so the glutens didn't activate, but they definitely are denser than my regular biscuits!).

-- Badtux the Cooking Penguin

No recipe, because it's not quite right, more experiments are needed.

The new George Wallace

In 1976, George Wallace won the South Carolina primary on a platform of race-baiting and bigotry. It was pretty much George's last hurrah, he didn't win any other primaries that year, and soon retired from politics.

Today, Newt "the Grinch" Gingrich appears to have won South Carolina based on a similar plan of attack. Apparently folks in South Carolina liked his race-baiting and his constant attacks on the negro err President, sorta like back when they voted for George Wallace in the '76 primary 'cause George hated him some black people too.

All of which says more about South Carolina than anything that's going to be relevant to the rest of the race...northern Florida is also full of racists, but southern Florida isn't, so I doubt racism is going to stir as many people to vote for the Grinch there. Still, the Grinch is back, bitches! And the Republican dwarf race is still up in the air, with each of Frothy Dwarf, Sleazy Dwarf, and Grumpy Dwarf having won a state. None of them are going to beat the camel in the dwarf vs. camel race, but they're definitely all chugging away as fast as their tiny little legs can propel them!

-- Badtux the Dwarf-watchin' Penguin

Joyful noise

The Joy Formidable, "I Don't Want To See You Like This", off their debut album The Big Roar.

-- Badtux the Music Penguin

Gripe of the day

What's with these people who don't flush the toilet? Are they so impressed by the fact that they managed to produce a turd that they want to preserve the evidence so that *we* can be impressed too? Dude. It's shit. We're not impressed. Flush it down. If your feeble little head can figure out how. If not, how did you manage to make it to a public toilet under your own power in the first place?

Which reminds me -- public art here in the SillyCone Valley sucks. Down in LaLa Land, they get silly public art like this:

So what do we get here in the Silly Cone Valley? We get a drunken wife-beater whose statue spent ten years in a warehouse because he loved killing Mexicans and the Hispanic community was outraged that a statue of this dude was gonna be in a public park, we get a statue of drunken schmoos schmoozing:

And let's not forget the crowning accomplishment of public art in San Jose: An 8 foot tall pile of dog poop:

Compared to a giant silvery head of Lenin with a tiny Chairman Mao balancing atop it, We Suck.

-- Badtux the Random Penguin

Noisy Danger

The inimitable Scout Niblett does "Ripe with Life" off her recent album The Calcination of Scout Niblett while in her natural environment -- a small night club.

-- Badtux the Music Penguin

Baffling Carolina

So we had Dopey Dwarf drop out of the dwarf-race, and now it's Grumpy Dwarf leading over Sleazy Dwarf in South Carolina? WTF?

Poor Sleazy just can't get a break. First we learn that Frothy, not Sleazy, won Iowa. Now Grumpy is poised to win South Carolina. Of course, the core problem is that while Sleazy is skeezy, he's also Mormon. Mormons tend to *not* be fat stupid ignorant devout welfare whores, thus can't be *real* conservatives, right? Right?!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Torch Hate

Devics, "With the voice of a girl who still hasn't learned", off their torch pop album If You Forget Me.

-- Badtux the Music Penguin

The Great Blackout of 2012

Today if you went to Wikipedia, you discovered it wasn't there. Why? Because they, like tens of thousands of other sites, were protesting copyright bills in Congress that basically would allow anybody to take down any web site at any time (via redirecting their web site's domain name in the global name registry so that you get a FBI warning instead) by making a spurious claim that said web site was "hosting or encouraging the hosting of copyrighted material". No trial. No jury. No recourse to get your domain name back other than suing the person or entity who made the complaint, which isn't practical for most people, since it's generally law firms out to extort money from ordinary civilians that will be engaged in this sort of conduct (that's true in Germany where such a law is already in place, and there's no reason to think it wouldn't be true here too).

In short: We're talking about a law that would be good only for lawyers, not for anybody else on the planet. It wouldn't even be good for the Hollywood studios pushing it, since all that happens if the global domain name service goes black for accused copyright violators is that alternate distributed name services that are much harder to shut down will go into service, much the same way that the shutdown of the centralized Napster service led to the current Bittorrent decentralized system.

Lawyers. That's the only people who will benefit. Bah humbug!

-- Badtux the Practical Penguin

Flowers

The Waco Brothers, "Walking On Hell's Roof Looking At The Flowers". Not exactly what I'd be doin' if I was walking on Hell's roof, but the bro's make it work.

- Badtux the Music Penguin

A joke gone wild

So anyhow, a bunch of lefties over on Twitter were joking around that since Romney's daddy was born in Mexico, that meant Romney was no more (or less) a "natural born citizen" than Obama is. At which point someone said, "quick, someone tell Crazy Joe over at World Nut Daily!" and sure enough, this morning I got an email blast from Joseph Farah, owner/editor of World Nut Daily, with the Cavuto, "Is Mitt Romney a Natural Born Citizen?"

Dear Crazy Joe: We were JOKING. We weren't being serious. In fact, we were making fun of *you* and your demented crusade to overturn the will of the American voters via legalistic mumbo jumbo about how someone born on American soil might not *really* be a "natural born citizen" (what, he was artificially born?!). I realize that right-wingers have no sense of humor but dude. Get a grip!

- Badtux the Head-shakin' Penguin

A treasure

Ray Wylie Hubbard does a gospel honkey tonk song after about 2 minutes of the funniest banter I've heard in a *long* time. If I ever get to spend a while in Austin, I'd love to see him perform in person... looks like a real fun time.

This is "When She Sang Amazing Grace".

-- Badtux the Music Penguin