License #XXX-XXXX
Sorry about the dent in your front fender. I was helping operations by pushing a cart loaded with outgoing systems out the loading dock door. I pushed the door open a little, then pushed the cart through it as hard as I could to get it over the door jamb, when I heard a "WHAM!" and the cart stopped. I gave the cart a couple of more pushes trying to get it past whatever obstacle was making it not want to go through the door. A couple of "WHAM!" later, I gave up and pulled the cart back in.
When I walked out of the loading dock door, I once again heard a "WHAM!" when I tried to open the door all the way. That is when I saw your black Mercedes. I walked out into the parking lot and let the door close behind me, and turned back and looked at the door and read the sign that was there:
You lose, dude.
-- Badtux the "Some people can't read" Penguin
If you can post so much you have way to much time on your hands. You should get out camping more cuz u'r not going to change anything anyway. It's just a bunch of monkeys fucking around.
ReplyDeleteYes Mr Penguin , but the very small print at the bottom says :
ReplyDelete" Black Mercedes Allowed Anytime "
Isn't that why people drive black Mercedes ?
w3ski
PS Give the loading door another slam for me .
These are the kinds of blog posts I enjoy the most. Good work, BT...
ReplyDeletebbbbbut but but, it's a Mercedes...
ReplyDeleteLOL
One of my favorite scenes in a movie was in Backdraft when the firetruck pulled up and I believe it was a Mercedes (haven't seen the movie in years) was parked in front of the hydrant. They just smashed both windows and dragged the hose through the car. Priceless.
ReplyDeleteThere's a similar moment in a cute Aussie move from 2006 titled "Kenny," about a rough-edged guy who hauls Porta-loos. At the end, he's exhausted after trucking a load of lavs from a rock festival where punky punters have abused him, and he gets blocked in by a suit-wearing toff who's yammering on his mobile phone and waves Kenny off as he's trying to leave. You can guess the results...
ReplyDeleteI guess it's a natural human reaction from us low-power people, seeing the visible trappings of royalty getting trashed. Only now instead of something symbolic of the King copping it, it's those royal steeds as represented by posh cars.
I once knew a guy who had a new sports car. He went to a mall and parked it across two spaces to prevent it being damaged.
ReplyDeleteSomebody keyed the car and then left a note under the windshield wiper that said: "Now you don't have to worry about it anymore, asshole."
(It wasn't me who did that)
Heh. That's one reason why I typically drive/ride vehicles that look better all dirty and scratched up. A shiny Jeep Wrangler is a pathetic sight. It's like a pig with lipstick, or a cow wearing a tutu. It just ain't right.
ReplyDeleteI think I might have changed that policy with my new BlackStrom, though. That's a purty bike. For some definition of purty. So it goes.
And oh -- I wouldn't park in front of that loading dock door. Not because I care about my Jeep getting scratched up. Rather, because I'm not an asshole. Duh.
- Badtux the Beat-up-vehicle-ownin' Penguin