Monday, June 11, 2007

This cannot end well...

There was a joke in Vietnam, "want to buy an ARVN-issue M-16? Barely used, only dropped once!". The only good thing about using the M-16 in Vietnam was that the AK-47's that the NVA was using had a different ammo and thus they couldn't use the M-16's too easily themselves -- not that they needed to, given how cheap and plentiful AK-47's and ammo thereof are. But they certainly used plenty of other ARVN-issued weapons against U.S. forces in Vietnam, especially mortars and other such man-portable artillery.

But even the U.S. Army in Vietnam wasn't stupid enough to give weapons to the exact same people who have been shooting at our soldiers in hopes of bribing them into, well, not shooting at our soldiers. Not that I think it really matters. The insurgents have proven that they can get all the weapons they want, in plentiful and abundant supply. But still. If you're going to bribe someone to not shoot at you, why not just load up a buncha Herky Birds with bundles of hundred dollar bills and fly them low and slow over those villages tossing out bales of money? Crap, the Iraqis would be so goddamned busy scrambling for that money that they wouldn't even bother shooting at the Hercs! (Not that Herky Birds really care too much about a few bullet holes through their skin, some of them in Vietnam kept flying even though they looked like cheese graters by the time the NVA ventilated them, but the guys inside said birds tend to get a bit persnickity about such things, heh!). I mean, c'mon. Bribing them with guns is just, well, inefficient.

I suppose the thought is that guns are harder to direct into Swiss bank accounts than dollar bills. Whatever. But as in Vietnam, I fully expect that guns issued by our very own U.S. Army will shortly be used to kill U.S. soldiers in VietIraq-nam.

Fucked. We are truly, truly, truly fucked. The only ideas left are the certifiably insane ones. Maybe this one is certifiably insane enough to actually work. But if I were a betting man, I wouldn't bet on it.

-- Badtux the Military Penguin


  1. Guns issued by the US military don't hurt anyone, they just spread democracy.

    Oh and just in case you need it

  2. this is yet another case that has the potential for extreme blowback. "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" is one of the most flawed concepts in human history.

    when the americans came to arizona (then part of new mexico territory) led by frémont, kearny and kit carson the white mountain apache used that same concept and allied with them against the mexicans, navajo, chiricauhua, mescalero and other nations. most of the apache scouts used to subdue the west were white mountain people. when white mountain apache troops brought geronimo in for the last time (there were 2 white officers and one white scout on that expedition) they found themselves stripped of their rank and weapons and shipped off to oklahoma and florida exiles like every other apache. we were able to keep most of our traditional lands as our reservation (but many of the hostile tribes did the same) but the reputation of the white mountain people among the other nations of the southwest is poisoned still today.

    much like the ARVN, who were mostly simple peasants trying the best they could to survive the fourth successive generation of war their country had known the best way they could the iraqi troops and tribes are doing the same.

    from the experience of my own heritage, from my experience in viet nam i predict a very bad end for all involved.

  3. i like that iraq-nam....good one!!

    another reason to get the frick outta there...

  4. God, if that wasn't true, it would be frikkin' hilarious. Like some kind of Bugs Bunny cartoon come to life.

  5. Hell, why stop there? Let's import some of them terrist fellas over here to hep us fite the war on terra! Who knows terra better an them?

    See, we knows what we knows, and we knows what we don't knows, but we also don't know what we know oh no oh no oh no...



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