Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Paris is America

Professor Juan Cole asks, why are we so interested in the details of the imprisonment of Princess Paris Hilton, and not so interested in the details of the imprisonment of Iraqi women and children seized in order to convince their menfolk to turn themselves in?

The reason for the focus is simple: Paris Hilton is *us*. Americans. Overindulged. Pampered. Rich. Stupid. With an overweening sense of unwarranted entitlement based upon nothing more than where and to whom she was born. Paris Hilton is America. Where once America was steelworkers and freedom fighters, today America is... Paris. Vacant empty-headed useless people with no conception of "reality", who mostly spend their days selling things nobody needs to people who don't need them but hey, they're neat things, so buy, buy, buy!

Iraqis... heck, most Americans couldn't even find Iraq on a map, and would stare aghast at you if you even suggested that Iraqis were humans and should thus possess all the rights that the Declaration of Independence assures us were granted to us by our Creator. Americans want us out of Iraq because we're losing, not out of any moral qualms about killing people who aren't, like, Paris.

We might as well replace the eagle on the national seal with a poodle-dog and make it official. Replacing George with a picture of Paris on the $1 bill might be a great idea too. After all, Paris Hilton is a far, far better symbol of America than a man who was willing to give up his pampered existence on a plantation in order to lead an army of independence under horrible conditions through ice and snow with, get this, no catering! Oh the horror!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin


  1. Gaaaaa !! Put her picture on a dollar bill? I wouldn't be able to pack them, I can't stand that tramp.

  2. Regretfully, you are right. Then you wonder why they call us the "ugly americans." I'm just hoping (or praying) that this latest stunt by useless Hilton kills her celebrity no-talent career and we can get rid of her.

  3. I also wish Par-Ass would go away. Seriously, I think the reason she gets attention is because she represents everything that struggling Americans love to hate: a spoiled rich kid they can laugh at and snark on. She's famous because people want to mock her. Just my opinion.

  4. "Americans. Overindulged. Pampered. Rich. Stupid."

    Look at the politicans in charge of this country, and you see they have these same "qualities".

  5. Truffle, people mock others when the others represent qualities that they fear they themselves have. For example, when I was in high school, some of the jock types mocked those whose sexuality was either obviously homosexual or, at the very least, indeterminable. Later I figured out that they feared that they themselves might possess those same qualities, thus why they mocked the "gay" kids (some of whom were, some of whom weren't, it didn't really matter in the end).

    We mock Paris for the same reason, because we fear she is us. With good reason.

    - Badtux the Psychology Penguin

  6. Politicians all have those qualities.. they're in it only for one thing... ;-)

    And in has nothing to do with the rank and file.

  7. one thing that an american who has never traveled has a hard time grasping is that to much of the world an american, in a trailer park, on welfare or other assistance is far richer than their wildest dreams.

  8. Wot? I have her latest video posted on my blog!




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