Libertopian dreams

I kinda get a kick out of pasty-white Libertarians fondling their guns and dreaming about how they'd be the Big Man On Campus in Libertopia, their imaginary perfect world where there was no government, everybody had a six-shooter on their hip, and then they could live the life they want to live without worrying about whether The Man was gonna come down on them with the full force of the government.

Now, one thing I gotta tell ya about most Libertarians I've met. They're usually pasty white blubbery momma's boys who talk big from their mommies basements while filling their mouths with Cheetos, but ain't done jack shit outside that basement. Not many of them have ever hiked for days at a time with a 50 pound pack on their back. None of them have ever fired their gun at anything other than inoffensive paper targets. If they had to confront someone else with a gun, they wouldn't be pulling out their own gun. They'd be too fuckin' busy shitting their pants and begging for mercy.

So anyhow, here's my challenge to momma's boys Libertopians. I got yer Libertopia for ya. See, I know some families who are, well, fuckin' *HARD CORE*. As in, their twelve year old KIDS go do drive-by shootings off of fuckin' *BICYCLES* hard core. As in, they'd sooner kill you than say hello if they take any sort of disliking for you. Anyhow, here's my challenge. You get to choose the weapons of your choice. So I tell these hard core gang bangers that you been trash talking them. I tell'em that you been boasting that in your Libertopia, you'd take them out and there, like, wouldn't be no fuckin' crime or criminals. I drive you to their neighborhood, get out of the car, take the keys, and walk off.

Have fun, assholes! 'Cause I gotta tell ya a truth you don't wanna hear. In your "Libertopia", these vicious types who don't give a shit about human life will *own* your fat pasty white ass. 'Cause in the real Libertopia, it's not rule of the people, by the people, for the people. It's rule of the majority of the people, by the most vicious and ready-to-kill minority. And frankly, you Libertopian geeks are... well, ya got mouth, but otherwise you're, well, fuckin *GEEKS*. You gonna fuckin' squeal like a pig by the time these motherfuckers are through with you, and then claim you like it. And that's God's own truth, yessiree.

-- Badtux the non-Libertopian Penguin