Sunday, April 10, 2005

What would it be like if Unitarians went jihad?


We are Unitarian Jihad. We will appear in public places and require people to shake hands with each other. (Sister Hand Grenade of Love suggested that we institute a terror regime of mandatory hugging, but her motion was not formally introduced because of lack of a quorum.) We will require all lobbyists, spokesmen and campaign managers to dress like trout in public. Televangelists will be forced to take jobs as Xerox repair specialists. Demagogues of all stripes will be required to read Proust out loud in prisons.

People of the United States! We are Unitarian Jihad! We can strike without warning. Pockets of reasonableness and harmony will appear as if from nowhere! Nice people will run the government again! There will be coffee and cookies in the Gandhi Room after the revolution.

Hmm... must say that when it comes to that jihad stuff, the Unitarians don't quite inspire the kind of fear that, say, Islamic Jihad (or Bush Christian Crusaders) does... but then, these are the same terrorists behind the Cover the Uninsured Week (May 1-8, 2005), so maybe they DO inspire terror -- in health insurance executives.

- Brother Broadsword of Reasoned Discourse


  1. Call me Brother Chains of Freedom formerly known as Frogsdong

  2. I may be addressed as Sister Unarmed and Dangerous - or Sister Preferring Harry Winston. Either way! Sister Orbital Sander?

    Is everyone here replete with nomenclature?

  3. Woot! I didn't realize you had posted this first, BadTux. I picked it up over at Electrolite. I'm The Sword of Reasoned Discussion.

    I've GOT to remember to put you on my blogroll...


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