Friday, April 08, 2005

Friday Cat Killer Blogging

Howdy thare, Bubba the Suthern Penguin here, to talk about our good pal and buddy, Senator Bill Frist. Right now what's I got to talk about is the NOO-CLEER OPTION, which is kinda like killing a cat (something that our good buddy Bill is good at doin', what's yer favrite way to killa cat? Mine's a .22, you ought ter see them critters jump in the air when that thar bullet hits'em!), but is instead about killing Filly Busters.

Now, these here Filly Busters, I'm not quite sure what they is, but they's somethin' about them DEMON-crats stoppin' government from doin' stuff. Look here, feller, that's just plain wrong. When we'uns elected God's Own Administration into office, what we wuz votin' fer was BIG guvernment. TEXAS-sized guvernment. That kicks ass, 'specially them DEMON-crat's ass. Them DEMON-crats tryin' to keep guv'ment from doin' stuff, why, that's just un-AMERICAN! If guv'ment can't do whatever it feels like doin', the TERRORISTS HAVE WON!

So whatever these here Filly Busters is (I wonder if they got somethin' to do with taming horses?), contact our good pal Bill and tell'em Bubba sent ya to tell him that you want them Filly Busters to be glowin' in the dark, ka-BOOM! NOO-clear, my man. Whoo! Makes my li'l soldier salute just a THINK'IN about that thare mushroom cloud where them DEMON-crats was thinkin' they were gonna, like, act like democracy was somethin' other than doin' like we'uns tell'em to do!

Well now, I gotta go. I shot me ten of them thare does and they is hangin' up out back of my trailer house and Darlene is whinin' that she's tard of cleanin' them all, that I ought to do some of the work too. Now, ya think I oughtter use my belt on her, or just slap her upside the head till she's thinkin' right? I had to work HARD to lay out 'nuff corn to get all them thare deers to come in front of my 30-30! That thare woman just don't 'preciate the work I do, well, I'm gonna teach her, yessiree!

Yours in luvin' democracy,
Bubba the Southern Penguin

Translations for damnyankees out there, courtesy of Badtux the Snarky Penguin: Filly: a young female horse. Does -- female deer, now that the deer population has exploded it is encouraged to cull does but the limit generally is very small, 4 or fewer per day or per season depending upon what Tennessee county you're in, and deer season ended back in January. Baiting -- quite illegal in Tennessee, you cannot set out baiting stations in order to attract deer to where your stand is set up. .22 -- a small game rifle, typically used by children in the South to kill rabbits, cats, and birds. 30-30 -- a rifle firing the .30-30 Winchester round, one of the more common deer rounds out there (the other common one is the.30-06 Springfield round, which is referred to in Bubba land as a "thirty-ought-six").


  1. Hmmm. Killing small animals in their youth is one of the boxes to check off when analyzing the sociopath.

  2. Well, that fits Bill Frist (and our Glorious Leader) to a tee...


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