Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Gunfight at the Denny's Salad Bar

Ah yes, Florida, where crazy gets issued at the border. In Orlando, a Floridian by the name of Frederick Louis Sims responded to slow service in Denny's by firing his gun. Good thing the server wasn't packing, or we coulda had the Gunfight at the Denny's Salad Bar in Orlando! Okay, doesn't have quite the cachet of "Gunfight at the OK Corral", but hey, modern times, right?

Mr. Sims then raced off from the Denny's in his Cadillac Escalade (undoubtedly with spinner wheels and blacked out windows), until the local cops stopped him and cited him for creating a public nuisance by firing his weapon into the air (those bullets can come down, y'know?). They were probably also laughing at Mr. Sim's choice of weapon at that time -- a .22 caliber pistol, the favorite weapon of diminutive damsels everywhere (geez, the amazing thing is that anybody even noticed he fired that little pop gun!). Nobody's saying, but it was probably blinged out all pimptastic too.

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

3 comments:

  1. Geez, news like that first thing in the morning gives me an itchy case of Nietzsche:

    "Is madness perhaps not necessarily the symptom of degeneration,
    decline, and the final stage of culture?"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, I knew we were fucked when the Shrubbery got elected in 2004. 50%+1 Americans are idiots... and the rest of us are just along for the ride down the toilet, whee!

    - Badtux the Circling Penguin

    ReplyDelete

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