Thursday, May 13, 2010


What caliber would Jesus carry?. Louisiana law allowing guns in churches passes, because Jesus, of course, said "carry lotsa guns and use'em, yo" in the Bible. Somewhere. I don't know where, but I'm sure it's there, because the NRA tells me so, doh.

That stuff about turning the other cheek? Socialist claptrap! Jesus actually said, "slap his cheek before he slaps yours, yo." Right around the place where he says slap your bitch around 'till she's a good wife. It's there, in the NRA Bible, I'm sure. Not that the folks who got this passed actually know how to read, but hey, one thing at a time, right?

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin


  1. It's in the "Gospel according to Smith and Wesson". Page 357.

  2. Uh, I do not think they mean what they think they mean.
    If people are allowed to come to a church armed, why not a Mosque? Will every Moque need to up-arm to keep up with the Christianista's? What about the Synagogues? Won't they feel threatened? We can forget about Buddhist Temples.
    And what happens if your church doesn't have as many guns, or lower calibers than the Mosque next door? And if they're the same, is it a "Muslim Standoff?"
    Guns, if they're allowed in churches, will then have to be allowed in ALL houses of worship. The government can't favor Christ being armed, if Yahweh and Mohammed aren't. Maybe that's why they want to get rid of governement?

    Why you need a gun to go to church is beyond me. But then I don't understand why you want or need one to go your local bar, or to the Applebee's, Outback, or TGIF in your nearby strip mall.
    It's more than just having a small dick, it's also having a small mind an little or no self-esteem.

    So, go ahead Bubba, pack for Christ. But don't bitch when you pull a weapon on your way past a Mosque, some Muslim guy has his out already and asks, "You have to ask yourslf one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?"

  3. Curious law, so far the only kind of person that churchgoers need protection from are the kind of people who would carry a gun into church.

    And another thing, Jesus really doesn't care how small your pecker is.

  4. Oh so you're against guns in churches now? What are you, a commie? if you don't understand why people need guns in churches, then maybe you shouldn't have a gun, mister.

    it's truly amazing the quality of distractions (ooh, a piece of candy!) they come up with in bad economic times. next up: the Jews.

  5. @Montag: that's not what he said last week when he was blowing me.

    Sorry, couldn't resist the horribly juvenile "humor." But not entirely inappropriate, given the recent adventures of Mr. Peker and his rent boy.

  6. Not necessarily against guns in churches, but definitely against churches being forced to allow guns. Frankly, I don't think there should be a law for or against guns in churches -- this is something that should be left to the churches in question and the conscience of their leadership and membership.

    - Badtux the MYOB Penguin


Ground rules: Comments that consist solely of insults, fact-free talking points, are off-topic, or simply spam the same argument over and over will be deleted. The penguin is the only one allowed to be an ass here. All viewpoints, however, are welcomed, even if I disagree vehemently with you.

WARNING: You are entitled to create your own arguments, but you are NOT entitled to create your own facts. If you spew scientific denialism, or insist that the sky is purple, or otherwise insist that your made-up universe of pink unicorns and cotton candy trees is "real", well -- expect the banhammer.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.