Thursday, May 11, 2006

The only God of Americanus Republicanus: The almighty Dollar

You listen to the members of the species americanus republicanus, and invariably things revolve back to the subject of money. Taxes? Well, Jesus Christ famously noted that we should render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, and that His kingdom is not of this Earth. That is, a true Christian basically doesn't care about taxation, because it's irrelevant to the quest of following His word and persuing His kingdom. Since His kingdom is not of this Earth, how much money is taken out of your pockets via taxes thus is not something a true Christian worries about. After all, it's not a picture of God on that money. It's a picture of a President of the United States.

Yet the americanus republicanus species claims it's important. That must mean they're not Christians, despite all claims to the contrary. Jesus Christ notoriously stated that wealth was un-Christian. He ordered his followers to sell all their worldly accumulation of wealth and give it to the poor. He famously went on a rampage against those who would use His holy temple in order to enrich themselves. Jesus, apparently, was no big lover of money, money being a worldly thing irrelevant to achieving the Kingdom of Heaven.

Yet still these "pseudo-Christians" do not repent of their worship of the Almighty dollar. Though Judas eventually realized that money was not worth the life of a man and threw the money away and hung himself in shame, americanus republicanus is actually proud of how much money they have (or want to have). Unlike Judas, they have no shame. They are literally more immoral than the betrayer Judas whose actions resulted in the death of Jesus Christ.

Their hard-hardedness towards the needy is similarly un-Christian. As noted above, Jesus believed that the purpose of worldly wealth was to be used to care for others, not accumulated. A Christian's duty is to give to those who ask for help, not quibble about how his tax money should not be going to "lazy slackers who won't help themselves". Even if they really were lazy slackers rather than honest working folks trying to get ahead the best they can, Jesus says we ought to give to them. Indeed, Jesus says we should not give parties for those with wealth and money. Instead, Jesus says we should invite the poor, the disabled, the homeless to share our bread and partake of our wine.

Yet americanus republicanus continues to hold events where only the wealthy are invited. Where is the sharing that Jesus mandates?

No, no, no. The evidence is clear. Jesus said pay your taxes gladly, avoid wealth, and give to the poor. In other words, Jesus was a (gasp) LIBERAL!

- badtux the Astonished Penguin

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