Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Rove Watch: Is a promotion next?

Karl Rove got his annual raise today. Meanwhile, like most Americans, I haven't received a raise in close to 2 years.

Today's White House press conference was filled with questions about Rove. Courtesy of the Applied Herring Mind Reading Cosmotron, I fill in what Scotty McClellan was *REALLY* thinking...

Q Has Karl Rove offered to resign, in view of his problems?

MR. McCLELLAN: Oh shit, why are you asking me? Do I look like someone who has the slightest fuckin' idea what's going on with Turd Blossom? Besides, it's a ridiculous question. Rove can no more resign than Edgar Bergen could resign the Charlie McCarthy Hour. In fact, we're giving Mr. Rove a pay raise and a promotion, you morons.

Q Does he still have his security clearance?

MR. McCLELLAN: I already told you I'm not going to answer this question. Didn't I tell you that? I haven't the slightest idea, and I sure as hell am not going to ask Turd Blossom. He might make me jerk him off again. Yuck!

Q No, they -- I've never heard this before. Have you?

MR. McCLELLAN: The question has been asked before. I already told you that.

Q We haven't heard an answer.

Q What was your answer?

Q There hasn't been an answer.

MR. McCLELLAN: What the fuck about "I'm not answering that question" do you turdballs not fuckin' understand?

[At that point, Mr. McClellan storms out of the White House press room, muttering that he needs to get a job where he gets to answer questions, instead of make up excuses for not answering questions.]

There you have it, folks! The *truth* about what Scott McClellan wanted to say to those pesky journalists who keep, like, asking those *questions*! Next up, I apply the Mighty Applied Herring Mind Reading Cosmotron to a famous right-wing "journalist"...

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin


  1. LOL! You *did* read his mind! :D

  2. Shit! After all the money being spent for bombs and killing foreigners, and other crap, they get raises. After all their fricking lying and general mayhem, they get raises. This is bull!

  3. Next up, I apply the Mighty Applied Herring Mind Reading Cosmotron to a famous right-wing "journalist"...

    Ooo! Ooo! Is it Hannity? I vote Hannity! Please make it Hannity.

    Ps. Hannity.


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