Monday, July 04, 2005

A celebration of liberty

Today is the day we Americans celebrate liberty and freedom. Unless you're a faggot, in which case you are vile and disgusting and we hate you. Or if you're a pregnant girl who decides she doesn't want the baby, in which case you're a killer, a sinner, a whore. But anybody else, we celebrate your liberty and freedom. Unless you're brown and you read the Koran instead of the Bible, in which case we detain you as a "material witness" for as long as we feel like, but that's your own fault for not being a member of the One True Faith. All you have to do is accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior if you want liberty and freedom.

Two hundred and thirty years ago, some darkie-boinging dude from Virginia wrote these words: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed." Obvious balderdash. Why, that commie pinko probably even thought MUSLIMS and LIBERALS had rights. Obviously one of those America Haters who supports Osama bin Laden and is objectively pro-terrorist. Unless he was only talking about good white Christian Americans like you and me having rights granted by God and anybody else having no rights granted by God, in which case, why, YES!

Reporter: "Mr. Penguin, what do you think about the land of liberty and freedom?"
Penguin: "It'd be a good idea."

- Badtux the Snarked Penguin


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. Or, if you were like me, you celebrated your independence by working for the corporate machine during the time you should've been watching fireworks and didn't find out about the scheduling until the day before.

    This is why I'm considering becoming a "barista" (or whatever the f**k they call it) at a Caribou Cafe across the street from my current workplace for a summer job.

  3. Badtux, the Cynical, Snarky Penguin.

  4. This post has been removed by the author.

    Wow, does this mean you've attracted your very own troll? They're so cute when they get all angry and indignant and start throwing their own poop, like chimpanzees...

  5. Sorry, Pope, not my own troll. The comment really *was* removed by its author, who apparently changed his mind. I'm still waiting for my own troll (sniff! the trolls don't love me!).

    -- Badtux the Untrolled Penguin


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