Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Let's hold a show trial!

Polls are looking bad? Your presidential legacy looks like it's gonna be more Herbert Hoover than FDR? Pesky Islamawhatchamacallits sending American boys and gals home in a box, making you look bad? Never fear, Dear Leader has a cure for what ails him -- let's hold a show trial!. That way we can use all that "evidence" that we tortured out of people, like the evidence that there was a 20th hijacker on 9/11/2001 by the name of Ramzi Binalshibh. Or was his name Mohamed al-Kahtani? No no, we tortured conclusive evidence out of these guys that the 20th hijacker was to be Zacarias Moussaoui. Unless it was Saeed al-Ghamdi (not to be confused with the successful hijacker of the same name), Tawfiq bin Attash, Ali Abdul Aziz Ali, Mushabib al-Hamlan, Zakariyah Essabar, Saeed Ahmad al-Zahrani, Ali Abd al-Rahman al-Faqasi al-Ghamdi, Saeed al-Baluchi, Qutaybah al-Najdi, Zuhair al-Thubaiti, or Saud al-Rashi, all of whom our successful torture has extracted reliable evidence were the "20th hijacker". Man, that would have been a crowded cockpit on Flight 93, eh?!

Now, some might complain that this whole affair appears like a Kafka short story as written by the Marx Brothers, but I assure you, this will be a dignified affair, and completely fair. There will be no problems with military commanders ordering their subordinates to find these men guilty, nosiree! As for that whole "trial by jury" thingy, oh come on, that was just so pre-9/11. 9/11 changed everything. Including, apparently, the Constitution, doncha know?!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin
Hat tip to Brian at Why Now

1 comment:

  1. I don’t like our political system and way of government, and I’m not real excited about any of the current front runners. I don’t think any of them are capable of entertaining us with blow jobs or screwing someone on a White House couch until we catch them. By god, as hard working taxpayers we deserve at least a fucking blow job once in a while.


Ground rules: Comments that consist solely of insults, fact-free talking points, are off-topic, or simply spam the same argument over and over will be deleted. The penguin is the only one allowed to be an ass here. All viewpoints, however, are welcomed, even if I disagree vehemently with you.

WARNING: You are entitled to create your own arguments, but you are NOT entitled to create your own facts. If you spew scientific denialism, or insist that the sky is purple, or otherwise insist that your made-up universe of pink unicorns and cotton candy trees is "real", well -- expect the banhammer.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.