Wednesday, June 07, 2006

666 was a dud

A blond bimbo rants about how disappointed she was that the Rapture didn't happen on 6/6/06:

Not a one of 'em goin' "missing". No ugly nekkid people floating up into the air and freeing up the parking spaces. No Swaggart/Bakker/Roberts/Robertson mansions goin' begging for new inhabitants.

Not one blessed moment of silence from the speaking-in-tongues, snake-handlin' hand-wavers and the pompous, plugged-up pricks who think that they were put here to remind women that all your uterus belong to us.

I feel your pain, Anntichrist S. Coulter... for I, too, am tired of the tendentious whose sole guiding principle appears to be, "if it's fun, it must be a sin." Gah. The Rapture can't happen soon enough...

- Badtux the Sinful Penguin


  1. First, let me start out by saying that I do not know for sure the truth about the rapture. It is certainly a mainstay believe in the modern day Christianity. But whether it is biblical is another question.

    If you read all of the parables about the return of Christ, or if you read the passages that "support" the rapture you will note that every reference to the "taking away" of people refers to removing the unbelievers from the planet. The references towards Christians speak to how God will protect and keep safe the Christians thru the time(s) of trial.

    In my belief, the next time we see Christ will be when he returns to earth to rule and reign for a thousand years, coming with all of His angels to "harvest" the wicked off from the planet.

    As a side note, why would there be any significance for the number 666 for an activity related to Christians. 666 is the mark of the beast, and if anything should mean something for the wicked instead.

  2. Givenn that the snake handlers, money changers, etc., apparently only worship Mammon, I suspect that either way we'll be done with them.

    - Badtux the "Tired of tendentious morons" Penguin

  3. I saw Christ last Thursday. We did lunch at The Manhattan. I'm all like "so, you're takin' all these nitwits with you on Tuesday, right? They're really gettin' on my nerves." And he's all like "Yeeaaaaah, not so much. They'll be leavin' soon enough, but they're not comin' with me. A few of those fuckers will be in for a bit of a shock when they see where they're ending up."

    "Oh, crap!" he yelled. "I just remembered I'm supposed to be appearing on the side of a fridge in Enid, Oklahoma. Gotta run. Toodles!" But before he left, he turned all the water at our table into wine. Personally, I would've preferred beer, but you can't be picky.

    Also, he did confirm that, after the annoying dipshits get Ruptured out of here, we get to party and keep all their stuff. So that's cool.

  4. All Hail Eris,

    Since the world is made of Chaos how chaotic it would be if the Goddess decided to throw us the proverbial curve ball and really not mean that we will have an actual rapture that takes us off the earth, but rapture is what you get after sex.


  5. Actually the rapture did happen yesterday. All the deserving were sent to Happy Fairy Tale Land, and the rest of stayed here in Mordor.

    Yes the second coming did happen and our buddy JC dropped by to laugh at us infidels.

    Now Peace has finally come to Isreal. Now we can all be happy. (Don't wake me yet).

  6. My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions!
    Read My Inaugural Address
    My Site=

  7. Even though I'm two years behind the thread, I feel that I still must object to TWO things in your post, dear, though the sentiments are obviously shared.

    1. "blonde" --- I haven't been blonde since the summer between first and second grade. I started out at BlondeSense (aka BourgeoisShit) because they were the first to invite me to do so, not because I shared follicular resemblances to the blogmistress nor to the other blondes amongst the staff. After the first anniversary of Katrina and the way that I was treated as I tried to mark the loss of 1,400+ of my people, that's when I struck out on my own.

    2. "BIMBO"?!?!?!?!?!??!!??

    Dear sir, I do believe that, by now, that you should know me way the fuck better than THAT. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here, and trusting that you were speaking in snarkilicious terms only, and that your somewhat tired farcical description was just that.

    Otherwise... well, the penguin knows what Annti can do with a four-way tire-tool, if you ever actually see this comment.

    And I wish you good health and long life, so that you have to live long enough to bitch us into way-far-behind revolution.


Ground rules: Comments that consist solely of insults, fact-free talking points, are off-topic, or simply spam the same argument over and over will be deleted. The penguin is the only one allowed to be an ass here. All viewpoints, however, are welcomed, even if I disagree vehemently with you.

WARNING: You are entitled to create your own arguments, but you are NOT entitled to create your own facts. If you spew scientific denialism, or insist that the sky is purple, or otherwise insist that your made-up universe of pink unicorns and cotton candy trees is "real", well -- expect the banhammer.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.