Monday, September 29, 2008

Wedding invitation

Come one, come all, for a shotgun wedding between Bristol Palin, 17, of Wasillia AK, and her 18 year old boyfriend Levi Johnston. This will be the classic "Barbecue Wedding" (as vs. the classy "Wal-Mart wedding"), which takes place in the back yard of the Palin home with a dead pig and baked beans and potato salad and a lot of Bud and Bud Lite to get everybody well lubricated. Saves the embarrassment of having to take your shotguns into Wal-Mart to make sure that the groom doesn't take off like Carl Lewis "feets don't let me down!".

The soon-to-be-happy couple is registered at Wal-mart, your #1 choice for all shotgun wedding supplies! Plumbing supplies, kitchen equipment, and power tools suggested. Suggested dress is overalls and a long-sleeve button-up shirt for men, gingham dresses for women. Bring your own lawn chairs and any vittles you'd like to see that ain't on the above list, as well as your own shotgun cleaning supplies and flasks of hard likker. Duct tape not optional. See ya there!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Below: The wedding party preparations underway.

3 comments:

  1. Oh God NO . Not an F'n backwoods shotgun wedding televised like it was the super bowl ! I don't give a rats ass about her or her knocked up daughter . Except that I see the daughte as an object lesson in the need for free publicly distributed birth controll . The MSM are going to play her up as some Princess when she's just an ignorant redneck . And , all of this is going to distract everyone from McSames present and comming meltdown .
    Got to burn that TV up before my eyeballs turn to jelley .
    w3ski

    ReplyDelete
  2. Whatever. In their eyes she'll just be getting fucked legally now. Or is that fucked properly in gods eyes?

    *rolls eyes, whateverthefuck*

    They had a big service here today for a lady that got shot recently, she was a forest service law enforcement officer.

    I'm sorry that she got shot, but 5000 enforcement officers came here today to attend the service.

    WTF? Most of them had never heard of her until her death and just used it as an excuse for a day or two off.

    It would have been a good day for organized crime to take out a lot of them at one time. Or pull off a good heist.

    I swear, I'm surrounded by fuckin' idiots.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm surrounded by fuckin' idiots.

    50% of all Americans are below average, and average ain't so smart nowdays after 30 years of dumbing down the nation. And thing is, 97% of Americans think they're above average, even though that's a mathematical impossibility. I wonder what category BBC falls into?

    - Badtux the Snarky Penguin

    ReplyDelete

Ground rules: Comments that consist solely of insults, fact-free talking points, are off-topic, or simply spam the same argument over and over will be deleted. The penguin is the only one allowed to be an ass here. All viewpoints, however, are welcomed, even if I disagree vehemently with you.

WARNING: You are entitled to create your own arguments, but you are NOT entitled to create your own facts. If you spew scientific denialism, or insist that the sky is purple, or otherwise insist that your made-up universe of pink unicorns and cotton candy trees is "real", well -- expect the banhammer.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.