Friday, December 02, 2011

You're a mean one, Mr. (Gin)Grinch

Okay, so Newt Gingrich says poor kids should get started early on their future careers as bathroom cleaners.

And, of course they should do this while hungry, because Newt the Lizard says that food stamps are just like credit cards and should be discontinued. Erm, except of course food stamp ECT cards are not like credit cards. The cash registers at stores that accept them are programmed to accept them only for the food items on the ticket -- all other items checked out must be paid for via some other way. I know this because I see people using these things as I check out at the grocery store, where they slide their card through the ECT machine, and then dig in their purse for random loose coins to pay for the few things not covered by the food stamp program. If Newt the Grinch had ever checked out at a grocery store recently he'd know this. Oh wait, I forget, Newt the Grinch never goes grocery shopping. Like most lizard people, he probably eats flies and live kittens for dinner.

What next, will Newt bite the head off of a puppy on live TV for his next trick? That's about the only way he can top wanting to work to death and starve little children, yo.

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin


  1. Newt wants them nappy head childin back down on the farm so they can be raised to pick them tomatoes. Heck, when the tomatoes are not being picked, they can set around and pick them guitars and sing the blues. Heck they can even jump over a broom and get married down on the plantation err I mean farm.

  2. I'm just surprised that he hasn't claimed that we should get rid of the food stamp program in order to combat childhood obesity.

  3. It's a real curiosity that Newt Gingrich can say this and not have his poll numbers dive in the Republican primary. Do the repukes believe Newt doesn't really mean it? Do they think that only colored kids will end up being janitors? Do they really think that somebody this tone deaf has a snowballs chance in hell at the U.S. presidency?

    It's like they're political playbook is a connect the dots cartoon with no numbers. Sure they make lines but they don't mean anything.

  4. I think Noot has a lot in common with Slobodan Milosevic. I was reading the recollections of a Repiglickin who was in Congrifts with Nooty in the mid-1990s -- forget the name, though -- and he was talking about Newto's preening, over-weening ambition. He'd do any nasty thing to get ahead and make money, even to the detriment of his nation.

    Milosevic was the same way in Yugoslavia in the early 1990s. The communist system there was crumbing economically, and the ethnic divisions that Tito had kept tamped down were simmering harder. Slobo and his band of commies/Serbs wanted to stay on top of their anthill. So they stoked up trouble to seize and keep power. It worked for them, except the country fell apart into civil war and atrocity. Even so, Milosevic hung onto power in the Serb statelet for many years, until he was deposed and Hagued. (Not hanged, sadly.)

    Noot would do the same -- rile up the revanchist white nativist sentiment to seize power, even at the cost of splitting America into a dozen jagged pieces. He set the tone for being willing to destroy America's government in pursuit of power and his vendetta over Bill Clinton. (A much-similar Southern horndog, only Clinton was like the charismatic high school hero compared to Noot's pudgy geek.) Does anyone doubt Snoot would do it again on a grand scale if he were preznit?

    That is, if he were serious. Governing is hard work. He just fucks shit up if he has real responsibility, and I think Nooty doesn't like the work part. So like Quitty McGrifter of Alaska, and Spermin Cain, Noot's scamming as hard as he can while the publicity is good. Higher speaking fees and other pay-to-bask-in-the-nearness-to the Great Man when he finally is forced out by derision.

    Noot's challenge will be to ride the con for JUST long enough to raise his future fee structure. He can't let it play out too long, like Cain did, to where he becomes tainted goods. Cain will still get invites on the chicken dinner circuit, but not on Fux and Sunday talk shows, where the exposure means you're regarded as being an inside playa. Noot must find a way to exit gracefully, before people see so much of his lying, wife-cheating self that they recoil in disgust. A lot of how that will be perceived depends on whether the mass meeja hologram machine decides to trash him.

    Many possibilities await. None of them include Noot being prez, though. Not even the R nominee. He just doesn't have it in him. Too much work.

  5. Be nice if we could institute a law that says that a representative or president caught spouting a full 100 lies or mistakes on the record automatically loses their job. Sure, those 100 points would fill up fast. The smarter ones would learn to shut the hell up. Either way, much less noise and bullshit being spewed.

    It would also be just if a proven lie was worth ten times what a mistake is.

  6. Actually, all the GOP candidates currently debating could lose their careers in a single speech.


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