Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The search continues

The GOP punditry, having fallen out of love with Governor Goodhair after discovering that Rick Perry is dumber than a box of rocks and doesn't clean up well for the general public (as vs. Texans, who are a breed apart as they are all too apt to insist), is on the lookout for a new candidate. They've approached Governor Chris Christie (R-Asshole) and Christie gave them the New Jersey Salute, which looks an awful lot like the New York City Salute, except with more vigor (let us just say that if you deprived Christie of the middle finger on his right hand, you'd immediately halve his vocabulary :). Christie might be an asshole, bully, and just general right-wing self-entitled jerk, but he ain't a moron and he ain't crazy -- he don't want nothing to do with the current goat rodeo that is the GOP presidential race.

So who's the next person who's going to jump into the GOP race? Some pundits mutter about the Wasilla Grifter, but Sarah Dumb and Tall ain't *that* dumb either -- running for Preznit would interfere with her grifting. But never fear, Fixer over at Alternate Brain has come up with the perfect Republican candidate for President. He's over the hill, washed up, has a fan base of millions of grey haired wanna-be rebels, is crazier than a box full of cats in a carwash, and so dumb he'd probably drown in that carwash 'cause he'd forget to roll up his windows. That perfect candidate is, of course...

Ted Nugent

Of course.

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin


  1. The scary thing about Ted Nugent is I know people who take him seriously! Box of rocks/cats in a carwash might be overstating his brain power-he is definitely not bent over with intellect.

  2. Oh there are all kinds of people around here who love the Nuge but I wouldn't worry about him too much. They aren't exactly the sort of people who tend to vote. I don't think he could win a statewide election here in Michigan much less a national one.

  3. I liked the phrase "goat rodeo" so much that I read that sentence three times.

  4. Absolutely lovely!

    Thank you.

    *Still smiling. :)


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