Thursday, January 06, 2011

The Birds

Various left and right wing blogs as well as Twitter are all atwitter about dead birds. Well, I have news for you: Dead birds happen all the time, because, well, birds are bird brains. I, for example, currently have a dead bird reposing within the grill of my Jeep and am wondering how to get the corpse out of there. But he isn't dead because of some secret military experiment or anything. He's dead because he was a fucking moron.

Which is the point. Birds aren't very smart (other than penguins, of course :). Thus the phrase "bird-brain". When you panic a bird, it'll dart out into traffic and get run over, or it'll run into a cloudburst and get brained by golfball-sized hail (probably what happened with the "8,000" dead birds), or otherwise do something stupid and fatal, as the fate of the birds who run into the blades of the windmills at various passes here in California attests. And there's nothing to be done about it because, well, birds are birds, doh.

So anyhow: Meet your new master, a turtle that's hell on wheels:

That is all...

-- Badtux the Zoological Penguin


  1. Not to mention the fact that birds reproducing themselves in the millions tends to ensure the propagation of the species, mass die-offs or not.

    Except for the Dodo.

  2. I think I saw some complaints somewhere that windfarms might cause lots of bird deaths. I also have read over the years that people's pet dogs and cats reduce the bird populations. Somebody will always have complaints.

    Good luck with the bird in the grill.

  3. Be skeptical if you chose.

    Arkansas bird - and fish - deaths are the actions of one pissed off sky deamon.


  4. News of extraordinary events tends to highlight similar events, but I can't remember this many similar events occurring around the world in close temporal contiguity. I want to know which military is testing a new species specific weapon.


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