Sunday, December 05, 2010

A suggestion that I advise against

In comments below, EBM asks why am I putting up rat recipes? The Republicans are the cause of these economic problems (not that Obama is doing anything about them either, but, y'know), so why shouldn't I be putting up recipes for adding Republican to your diet?

Now, the recipes actually work with most wild game (just adjust the amounts according to how many critters you need to get meat from in order to make the recipes work), so theoretically they'd work. The problem is that Republican leaves a bad taste in your mouth due to the amount of bile and venom contained in the species. I assume that, as with pufferfish, it would be possible to somehow isolate and remove the poisonous parts, leaving just the meat. But it may be that, as with toads, the bile and venom is simply too widely dispersed within the body of the creature to make it worthwhile to attempt to eat it.

So, to anybody proposing that the unemployed who've been told by Republicans, "eat rat or die", eat Republican instead... highly, HIGHLY advised against. Aside from the bile and venom issue, there's the possibility of catching Mad Republican Disease from the festering pool of ignorance that fills the cranium. This variation of Mad Cow Disease makes you appear in public waving tea bags in your Medicare-provided scooter while shouting "keep your government hands off my Medicare!" and other such nonsense. So, given the disease, bile, and venom problems, eating Republican is highly disrecommended. Republican: Just say no :).

- Badtux the Snarky Culinary Penguin


  1. Freaquing Awesome!


  2. There is an old hillbilly recipe(otherwise known as 'white trash') for possum that entails wrapping the critter in birch bark and soaking it in salt water for a day or two but I don't think that would even make republicans edible.

  3. Good point.

    So we should treat them like zombies-- shoot them in the head or bash their skulls in?

  4. I had a need for a b-movie this weekend, so I watched the vampire flick, Daybreakers. What a perfect metaphor for the GOP dream world...them as the vamps, the rest of the world as farmed humans. That such an end as that movie had might be theirs, too!

  5. yummy parboiled republican
    roasted alive on a spit
    gingerly placed in the oven
    make your next party a hit

    serve up deep fried Limbaugh
    with Mitch McConnell stew
    Glenn Beck is in the bouillabaisse
    and Boehner is now fondue

    think of the yummy appetizers
    served at this sumptuous feast
    the pigs are wearing lipstick
    and Palin is sliced roast beast

    sure the meat tastes gamy
    and it smells funky too
    republicans are nasty critters
    tough as nails to chew

    just think it's public service
    eating for the common good
    smiling, chewing, and swallowing
    every republican that I could

  6. In addition to trying to cut and/or scrape out all the bile and venom, you have to clean out all the excrement and offal. That wouldn't leave much to cook and would almost be a case of using more calories to prepare than what would be available after cooking.

  7. froggie -

    Brilliant, but I aint gonna try it.

    What's the difference between a Repugnicant and a carp?

    You can cut the mud vein out of a carp . . .

    Here's to goin' hungry -


Ground rules: Comments that consist solely of insults, fact-free talking points, are off-topic, or simply spam the same argument over and over will be deleted. The penguin is the only one allowed to be an ass here. All viewpoints, however, are welcomed, even if I disagree vehemently with you.

WARNING: You are entitled to create your own arguments, but you are NOT entitled to create your own facts. If you spew scientific denialism, or insist that the sky is purple, or otherwise insist that your made-up universe of pink unicorns and cotton candy trees is "real", well -- expect the banhammer.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.