Tuesday, April 24, 2007

A sad and horrifying admission

In light of my mentor Jonathan Swift's horrifying tale of a child behaving badly, I have my own sad and horrifying admission to make. I have done a bad thing. I, I, I... YELLED AT MY CAT.

Yes, my cat. A fluffy innocent kitty that had done nothing wrong except jump up on my computer desk and walk in front of my computer screen and mew pitiably to be petted, as cats are wont to do when their human is not properly worshipping them. But I was too busy, too inconsiderate, too, too... HUMAN... and I yelled at the cat instead, calling him bad names for getting in my way while I was trying to work on my computer. I even picked him up and set him down behind my chair! Sob! Can you ever forgive me? I have damaged my poor kitty for life. Oh I feel so ASHAMED...

-- Badtux the Abashed Penguin My poor innocent victim asks, "Why, daddy? Why?"...


  1. Mimi is doing the same to me right now. I, however, am petting the widdew kiddie cat, as I've been gone all day.

    I'm sure Fang will get over it. Someday...


  2. you deserve to feel bad...it is a truly evil deed that you have done...(that's from my dogs)

  3. Courage mon penguin. A twelve step near you program is if only -- such a little thing -- you will admit your abuse of poor fluffy!

  4. ::sigh:: It's back to the obedience chamber for you until you learn to act like a civilized life form.

  5. What could have possessed you?

  6. Dogs have owners, Cats have staff.

    'nuff said.

  7. What can I say, Sumo? I put my own welfare ahead of my cat's for a few seconds there, and indulged my inner monkey.

    Now like Alec Baldwin I shall find my photograph on thousands of web sites all over the Internets decrying my aweful behavior toward my poor innocent loved one. I shall have reporters pounding on my door and hounding me on the streets. I will have people second-guessing me for the rest of my life. Why, the Humane Society might even sue me to take custody of my poor darlings back! This is just such an aweful major news event that's going to ruin not only poor innocent fluffy's life, but mine too. Sob!

    - Badtux the Reporter-hounded Penguin

  8. First Alec, then Chevy Chase says he was beaten as a child, now you! Oh, Evil Spock will be happy when the world gets raptured!

  9. Come on now Badtux. Let's look at this logically. The moment you did that, your delightful little package of fur dismissed it as just another random act of insensitivity by an ignorant lesser being. He understands that you know not what you do.
    Please forgive yourself.

  10. Watch out. The Mighty Fang might sneak up and groom you when you're not looking.

  11. Actually, Mencken, rather than The Mighty Fang, was the cat that I yelled at. You see how concerned he is about it, right?

    - Badtux the Misdirecting Penguin

  12. Aw! Poor kitty. I hope he's not like my orange cat. I yelled at him many months ago, at the cat bowl, because of his greedy ways. Now, I walk past and he runs.

    That's a pretty picture. Your cats are so shiny and cute!

  13. Ahem. Music for cats, when the staff is out working to buy the food.


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