Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Beware the T-shirt of Mass Destruction!

Yesterday evening the Capitol Police responded to a 9/11 message. Someone was in the Capitol Building with an armed and loaded weapon of mass destruction! So they responded in force, and found the weapon silently ticking, making not a sound, motionless in a seat.

Here is the horrible, heinous weapon of mass destruction that they removed from the Capitol Building:

No no, not the lady. Not the podium. not the banner. The T-SHIRT. That's right, the T-SHIRT. It is the t-shirt that was so horrible, so deadly a weapon of mass destruction, that our Dear Leader and the rest of the House chamber had to be protected from it despite the fact that its wearer was sitting motionless and saying not a word. Why, if the t-shirt wasn't removed from the House gallery within 1 minute of its arrival, it could have exploded and KILLED US ALL!

Remember, Osama bin Laden isn't the greatest threat to America today. T-shirts are.

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin


  1. It wasn't the T-Shirt, it was the message on the t-shirt that would have subverted thousands, nay, ten of thousands of good brain-dead conservatives. It contained a message that was considered "free speech" and we will not allow that kind of mind terrorism to pollute the weak minds of this country.

    And the message was purely American, it only showed the death toll of Americans, not the death toll in terms of total lives taken (50,000 +) I think it is now. Then the police could have used deadly force to restrain the "irate mother".

    Beware of t-shirt wearers and vegans, those blood-thirsty destoyers of American normalcy.

  2. BTW, the appropriate case law here is Cohen vs. California, 403 U.S. 15 (1971). In 1971 a young man was arrested in a courthouse for wearing a t-shirt that said "Fuck the draft!" while sitting quietly in the audience waiting for the trial of a draft-dodger to begin, and when the Supremes danced, the Supremes said that it was not sloganeering nor demonstrating since the young man was merely wearing the shirt and wasn't doing anything to disrupt the proceedings. Thus it was protected speech. If Cindy had performed some action, it would have been sloganeering. But she didn't. She merely sat as an invited guest. And the Supremes have ruled.

    Not that this matters to the Republicans, since they believe that laws are for the little people, not them. Break the law? No problem! Just another day in the life of an average Republican politician!

    - Badtux the Law Penguin

  3. More case law: Cohen v. California was held to apply to the House and Senate galleries in ,Bynum v. U.S. Capitol Police Bd. (Dist. D.C. 1997). It simply is illegal to arrest someone for wearing a t-shirt. You can ask them to leave if they're wearing an "inappropriate" t-shirt, and arrest them if they refuse to do so, but you can't arrest them merely for wearing a t-shirt.

    But law is for the little people, not for good Republicans...

    - Badtux the Law Penguin

  4. Shorter SOTU:

    America is addicted to oil. Please forget that I’m one of the pushers.

    If you had allowed me to break the law before 9/11, we wouldn’t be in this mess.

    If you criticize me, the terrorists have already won.


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