Monday, February 27, 2006

Tears of a Clown

I got an EMAIL from Mr. Whorowitz today. Poor Mr. Whorowitz. Them LIE-beral perfessers is bein' MEAN to him. How, you ask? Are they giving him wedgies? Are they sneaking into his driveway at night and sticking Darwin Fish on his car, causing all his neighbors to make warding signs against evil when they pass his yard? Did maybe one of those LIE-beral perfessers actually get out of his ivory tower and start picking in front of Whorowitz's house with a sign that said "Here lives evil"? No! It's even worse! It's... it's... THEY GAVE HIS LATEST BOOK BAD REVIEWS! Waaaaaahh!!!!

But never fear, Mr. Whorowitz's kind ole' letter to me told me how I can make Mr. Whorowitz feel better and get back at all them mean old perfessors that, like, hurt Mr. Whorowitz's FEELINGS (waaah!). All I gotta do is send him money. Yep. MONEY. That'll perk him right on up, yessiree, and let them perfessors know that he's better than them because, like, he sells himself on the street, and they don't! That'll teach them mean ole' perfessors to use them big WORDS 'n stuff to hurt Mr. Whorowitz's feelings, yessiree!

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

5 comments:

  1. Wow, he actually is sending letters around asking for donations to his evil project?? I guess he's a dyed in the wool repugnacious attack dog.

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  2. Funny how the self-righteous are always asking for money, telling you how to live etc.

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  3. He was a dipshit back when he was on the Left, and he's an even bigger dipshit now that he's made the switch over to the Right. I call this the "Christopher Hitchens Theorem."

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  4. The sooner Horowitz ditches politics for televangelism, the better we all will be. I think...

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