Here’s Vice President Dick Cheney’s top 10 excuses for shooting fellow hunter Harry Whittington on Saturday:
10. Sick and tired of Whittington’s “Hey, I’m having a heart attack” jokes
9. Pushed over edge by Dixie Chicks and Streisand blasting on pick-up truck stereo
8. Ongoing dispute over whether it’s acceptable to torture quail before shooting them
7. Thought he saw Michael Moore on other side of tree line
6. Wild Turkey and Lone Star Beer made him do it
5. Companion’s ill-advised decision to wear Moveon.org sweatshirt
4. Was trying to impress Jodie Foster
3. Whittington’s repeated ribbing that Bush is actually the “real president”
2. Targeting scope on rifle made by Halliburton
And the number one excuse given by Dick Cheney for almost blowing away hunting companion Harry Whittington…
1. Because he’s a wartime vice president, damn it
- Badtux the Snarky Penguin
Adapted/borrowed from BobGeiger.com
wild turkey and lone star are a dangerous combination even without guns. Cheney really needs to invite more supreme court justices to his quail shoots; he hasn't done that in ages.
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