Thursday, November 03, 2005

Soviet-era gulags under new management

The Party, after all, needs some place to stash unseemly brown people who object to U.S. soldiers in their homeland... I mean, c'mon. Sure, every right wing freak in America would go ballistic if, say, China stationed entire divisions worth of soldiers, tanks, and fighter jets within our own borders. But look, double standards are fine and dandy, because we're by god the United States of America and thus never wrong and always right even if the CIA butt-fucks and tortures to death every one of them darkies, whether they've done anything to deserve it or not...

I once read a document which said something like this:

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

It also said something like this:

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury

But we all know that this document was just some Commie plot to destroy America, and thus fine to ignore!

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin


  1. All I wanna know is, will this prison torture thing be applied equitably across the board? For instance, can we waterboard and electrocute the genitals of DeLay, Frist, Rove, Libby, and Cheney, when they arrive in the pokey? Cuz then I wouldn't have as much of a problem with it.

  2. Perish the thought! Delay, Frist, Rove, Libby, and Cheney aren't pesky furriner brown people, so waterboarding is out of the question! What, you'd apply this "torture" stuff to good Aryan white folk? Heresy!

    Now, if they were darkies from New Orleans, that'd be different, because we all know that them darkies is all criminals, right? So we'll just stash all those darkies in remote "FEMA-villes" in barb-wire-surrounded prison camps until we figure out what to do with them, alrighty then!

    - Badtux the Snarky Penguin

  3. We torture them over there so we don’t have to do it here.


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