Monday, October 24, 2005

Prussian Blue: Them thare girls cain't sing.

Howdy here, Bubba the Suthern Penguin comin' at ya again from Tennessee-land. Sorry I ain't been a'chattin' with you folks, but my ole' cat-killin' buddy Bill Frist has been keepin' me just plain tuckered out. Why, ever since he got tole that the SEC was investigatin' him fer insider tradin', he's been comin' to me, like, ever day, lookin' fer more cats. I swear, I musta done swept ever stray cat from Memphis to Johnson City, but see, I'm kinda scaret. The good doctor keeps showin' up at my door, wearin' his white coat and waving his scalpel and with them black shades dudes with the suspicious earwear right behind him, and with a glazed look in his eye he says "Cats. I need more cats. Get me cats, man!" Then he starts talkin' about how he knows where I live'n'stuff. Well, now, that thare don't surprise me since he, like, is standing on my front porch when he sez that (I mean, c'mon, I done known the good doctor since we wuz both knee-high to a grasshopper, of course he knows where I live!), but the way he eyes my Darlene, why, y'know, a woman does love a medical man, even if he is battier than a fruitcake (I mean, c'mon, wearin' a white coat with black trowsers? the man done lost it!). What if he gives Darlene that thare scalpel that he's, like, wavin' around? Why, it'd make the summer that Darlene played P.J. Harvey nonstop look like a walk in tha sheepyard!

So here I am, with my good buddy the Dr. Mengele of the cat world raggin' on me in the evenin's, and workin' all day long down thare at Joe's Garage, and I'm just plumb tuckered out and so covered with cat scratches that I look like some kinda accident victim. So my buddy Hank down at the garage, he tole' me about the White Pride Concert down at the fairgrounds last weekend, and how they had these two nubile young hotties who went by the name "Prussian Blue" playin' some good hoe-down music. So I went on down thare and caught me some tunes.

Well, now, what I got to report is this: the li'l fillies can pluck that thare gee-tar and stroke that thare fiddle right nicely, but my beloved Emmylou Harris ain't got nothin' to worry about, cuz, like, them thare girls cain't SING! I mean, I never heard such a caterwaulin' in my life (nevermind the lyrics). Then thare was all the pantin' skinheads an' stuff that wuz, like, undressin' these poor li'l girls with their eyes. Man, I ain't ever seen such a buncha losers in one place since I saw part of the Democratic National Convention on tha teevee.

I mean, c'mon. We're talkin' about folks who, like, think Hitler was this great dude an' stuff. Hah! You know why the Germans don't let ya talk 'bout Hitler when you're in Germany? It ain't cause of "hate speech" or nuthin' like that. It's pure-dee embarrassment. I mean, these here blond haired blue eyed Germans let some dark-haired brown-eyed furriner house painter from Ostria fool them into dyin' by tha millions! Why, ever time they think of the fact that they wuz dumb enuf to march to their deaths by the millions on behalf of a house painter, the shame just overcomes them.

So anyhow, that's my report from that thare concert. Gotta go now. Doorbell just rang, and my ole' buddy Bill is out thare, I see through the drapes. And he's waving two scalpels this time...

Yours from Tennessee,
Bubba the Suthern Penguin

7 comments:

  1. I seen dem girls on that dar yahoo. I thinks dey jest might be cukkoo like German cookkoo clocks

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  2. Oh, those two girls can sing all right. They can sing just fine.

    What they can't do is sing in tune. They also can't sing in the same key through an entire song. What they really can't do is do any or all of these things with each other

    Call me a snob, but I couldn't listen long enough to even get a sample of their political message (for which I am indirectly grateful despite the pain).

    ReplyDelete
  3. I got neo-nazis!

    Which means I had to disable anonymous comments for the moment, sigh... cleaning up after these losers is just too tiresome (already zapped a couple of their link farm posts here)...

    - Badtux the Cleaning Penguin

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  4. By now, all of Tennessee knows that Bill Frist is being investigated by the SEC.

    However, most of 'em haven't figured out that it's not another recruiting violation for the U of Tennessee football program.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am an extremely proud white (TRUE AMERICAN)man who happens to be quite educated and well off. My family were among the first from England to settle America. My country means everything to me, so forgive me for my rather strong opinion on this issue. i incidentaly happen to be a proud north-easterner. Listen up carefully all you scumtastic nazi-loving fascist hate-mongering “rebels.” We, and when i say we, i am referring to northerners, allowed you national traitors to fucking live after the great cival war. My great great grandfather personally cut down and sent to hell a veritable truckload of you bastards. Be grateful that you werent all rounded up and drowned in the damn ocean. Through years of struggle, war, and national conference we as American citizens have galvanized and made virtually permanent the values that regulate our society. Values like capitalism, christianity, freedome, liberty, and yes tolerance for our kind, many many of which dont happen to be white, Americans come in many races. Our national strength comes from our unity and adherance to our core values, not from the mindless divisive ignorance pawned off as pride by the likes of your kind. Damn, i kind of wish that a war would break out again, because it just might be time to purge all of you anti-american cockroaches out of our beautiful homeland. This is tha land of Washington, Lincoln, Luther King, Kennedy, and many more. This is not the land of Hitler, Mousillini, or any other sub-human force of medeocraty and national decline. I prey all your days come quickly so that my christian god will judge you good and proper

    p.s. I am an actual veteran who has actually seen active combat for my country. What have you “skins” ever done for my country but sit around in your trailors reading the Turner diaries.

    Actually, you know what. Let the (RaHoWa) come, I havent seen combat in over 11 years. I have been itchin to do some rightous killin. I am not sure if these "prideful citizens" understand just how outnumbered they will be in that war. John Brown left us with his legacy

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  6. Boy for people that claim to be so damn tolerant, you sure don't have any tolerance for those with different opinions than your own.

    You're worse than the damn Nazi's, you are destroying all that America stands for, freedom of press and the right to have your opinion heard.

    As a former resident of a communist country I can tell you exactly where you are headed...to a total lock down on your personal freedoms. And WHO is driving your country to this extreme point? People like YOU who cannot accept the views of others.

    Yes, the girls are wrong in my opinion. But they have the RIGHT to be wrong. As do all of you. Stop the hatred and start listening to the rumbles in the jungles. The natives are getting restless and when they do they clamp down on your freedoms.

    Washington is in an uproar over immigration, taxes, gas prices and Bush's performance. And you are just piling wood onto the fire pile.

    Besides, who the hell are we to mock two 11 year old girls? Don't we have bigger battles to fight? Aren't there more important issues to discuss? Or are you all really THAT shallow???

    And yes, I am a regular poster who chooses to remain anonymous at this time, so as to avoid flamming.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Err, dude, nobody said the girls didn't have a right to be wrong. All that was said was that the girls can play their instruments well, but they can't sing. Well, and that their admirers are generally neo-nazi loser pedophiles who get huge erections when watching the girls play their instruments and "sing".

    As for the major issues of the day, clickety-click on the header up above and you'll get an eyefull and earfull.

    - Badtux the Musical Penguin

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