Does this luggage make me look fat?

Over at MotoTux, I consider the next stage of the Blackbird recon motorcycle project, which is going to get, uhm, electrifying. Ick.

-- Badtux the Wrenchin' Penguin

The powerlessness of the American people

One third of the Colonial population supported secession from Great Britain in 1776. One third.

Ponder that for a few minutes. Ponder how a minority -- perhaps 33% of the population -- not only won their freedom in a war of secession where they were pitted against the world's greatest superpower of the day, but also brought the 66% of their peers who did not agree with secession from Great Britain along with them for the ride.

Never say that a minority of Americans can have no power to change the course of human events. Especially not on July 4.

But of course, it is much easier and simpler to believe we are powerless and that resistance is futile (as the Borg would put it). It excuses us in our complacency, in our fear, it excuses us from standing up for principles and excuses us from acting upon what we think. So we believe. We believe that we are the best, that we are number one, that there is no reason to change. Or we believe that change is impossible, that change simply cannot be done, that we are powerless and that resistance is futile. Irregardless, we believe. And having believed, we act as if it were true.

If our forefathers had thought the same way in 1776, our national anthem would be "God Save The Queen". So it goes. So it goes. But that, of course, was the problem in 1776. Britain did not buy us. Today... ah yes. We are bought, indeed. And I include myself in that number.

-- Badtux the Bought Penguin

Go away

Mencken, having kicked The Mighty Fang out of the box that the skid plate came in, is not amused by some odd bird flashing a bright light in his direction.

-- Badtux the Cat-owned Penguin

The consent of the people

I am tired of hearing liberals say "I am not responsible for the actions of my country's government." Because, in the end, for the vast majority, it is simply not true.

No government survives without the consent of the people. Even Saddam Hussein's government survived only because he had bribed, threatened, or cajole'ed the consent of most of his people. To blame the actions of the United States only on "the government" and completely ignore the people that complacently and compliantly enable "the government" to perform those actions is completely illogical and ridiculous. If you pay taxes, if you add to the national economy, if you do anything that allows the U.S. government to pay its bills or function, you are implicitly supporting the actions of the U.S. government regardless of your objections. But, you say, "I'd go to jail if I did not pay taxes! I'd starve to death if I did not participate in the economy!". Same complaints that the residents of Iraq had when you pointed out that it was their own actions that enabled the rule of Saddam Hussein.

Case in point: The collapse of the Soviet Union. At the end, everybody stood around and said to themselves, "why should we work for and pay the Soviet government? Let us all go our own way." And the Soviet Union ceased to exist simply because everybody decided it no longer had any reason to exist and did not pay taxes to it, would not work for it, and utterly ignored its whims and dictates. Gorbachev was rattling around in an empty palace for weeks looking for someone to take his orders before he finally admitted that the Soviet Union was dead and called Boris Yeltsin to formally offer his resignation as Premier and arrange for the divvying up of the State assets.

But of course we are too complacent, too insecure in our beliefs, too bought to do that here in the United States, and I count myself in that number. I do, after all, have multiple motorcycles and many other nice toys. I have been bought big-time. And so yes, I do bear responsibility for the actions of my government, regardless of whether I agree with those actions or not. This government has bought my consent with money, with intimidation, with any number of mechanisms where I willingly pay my taxes and participate in the national economy that allows this government to perform the actions that it performs. We are none of us innocent, except perhaps the children, or the shambling bums underneath the freeway underpasses with their caps held out for alms from passing motorists as they talk to their invisible friends. That is the sad truth that the "it's not my fault" brigade ignores when they object to a bad thing that the U.S. government has done. It is your fault. And my fault. And everybody's fault. Because we have the power to do to the United States what was done to the Soviet Union, and do not do so. Because, well... we're too bought. Too comfortable. Too complacent. And, dare I say... too scared?

-- Badtux the Bought Penguin

A rough sorta justice

I wonder where our pal The Angry Ballerina was last weekend?

-- Badtux the Justice Penguin

The best health care in the world

Patient collapses in emergency room after 24 hours waiting for care, lies dead on floor for an hour before hospital staff finally check on her.

But hey, we have the best health care in the world here in the United States of America. I know so because Rush Limpdick tells me so, even though the United States is the worst Western nation in heading off preventable deaths. U S A ! U S A! We're number one! YAY!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Are you a dissident?

Do you disagree with the direction that this country is going? Have you criticized the Bush administration and its policies in a public forum? Have you ever stated the notion, "this is no longer government of the people, by the people, for the people, we need to abolish it and start over again from scratch"?

Congratulations, citizen. The American STASI has been given free rein to build a file on you, regardless of whether you've ever advocated violence or not, regardless of whether you're any threat to the American people.

And if you believe this power will only be used against terrorists... bwahahahaha! And if you believe that President Barack Obama or President John McInsane would willingly give up this power: Bwahahaha!

Welcome to Soviet American, citizen. Please line up at the gate to be strip-searched and have your papers ready. Or else.

-- Badtux the Sovok Penguin

That wonderful Bush-McCain economy

62,000 jobs lost in June. But the unemployment rate didn't change. Because those people aren't employed. They aren't unemployed. They simply... aren't. And John McInsane hasn't a clue. As he said himself, "The issue of economics is not something I've understood as well as I should." And at a January town hall meeting in Concord, N.H., McCain told the crowd, "I am not an expert on Wall Street. I am not an expert on some of this stuff." If you've "disappeared" the unemployed, well, maybe that's not a problem. No people, no problem, as Stalin put it, right?

Welcome to Orwell's America.

-- Badtux the Orwellian Penguin

More on McCain's record

Suggesting that McCain's war record has no relationship to his qualifications to be President is not unpatriotic, not does this denigrate his service to the U.S. No one is arguing about about McCain's courage or heroism during the Vietnam War.

If you judge McCain strictly on his political and policy views, he's an unmitigated disaster on economics, foreign policy, amd domestic policy. His devotion to further tax cuts would bankrupt the country, ... If McCain is elected President, he would further push the Supreme Court rightward, ...McCain's foreign policy views are reckless and destructive of our nation's interests, ...

What does have applicability is McCain's political and policy views today, not something that happened 40 years ago. But of course to state this truth makes me unpatriotic and means I hate the military (which of course is why I walked into the Air Force recruiter's office back in '83, yessiree, because I'm unpatriotic and hate the military, heh!). Funny, how the folks who make such accusations generally wouldn't be caught dead within a mile of a military recruiter's office...

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Welcome to Soviet America, citizen

So where did American torturers at Guantanamo Bay learn their trade, given that, until the Chimperor's imperial presidency, the United States abhorred and condemned torture?

Answer: a chart and documentation copied verbatim from a 1957 Air Force study of Chinese Communist techniques used during the Korean War to obtain confessions, many of them false, from American prisoners.

We of course condemned these techniques as torture in 1957 -- and used them in 2007. We defeated the Soviet Union overseas so that we could become the new Soviet Union. Welcome to Soviet America, comrade.

-- Badtux the Sovok Penguin

Statistic for today

1% of the American citizenry owns the bulk of America's stocks and bonds.

For the other 99% of us... what, exactly, are we losing when the stock market goes down? Our "retirements"? Hah. Our retirements, other than Social Security, are already gone, looted by collapsed pension funds and venal 401(k) money managers. It was all a ponzi scheme to begin with, intended to make us (the majority) feel like we had a stake in the game so that we wouldn't interfere with the outrageous profits being made by the top 1% of the population. And now? Well. So the scheme is collapsing. Big effin' surprise, these things always do.

-- Badtux the "Welcome to the poorhouse, suckkas!" Penguin

A penguin's guide to Bay Area wildlife, Part II

Today we are going to talk about yet another form of Bay Area wildlife. This one is deceptively pleasant looking, and while harmless to most people, is absolutely deadly to its chosen prey. Consider it the Hello Kitty assault rifle of Bay Area wildlife.

That last should be seen as a Clue(tm). For the wildlife I am talking about is... the Chunky Japanese Manga Girl.

Identifying characteristics: Japanese features. Short straight black hair in a "pixie" cut with black spikes at the front and sides. Proportions of a pre-adolescent girl if blown up to twice the size (including twice the diameter of all limbs), but with large breasts. "Cute" boots that come to mid-calf to accentuate her large and solid calves. Mini-skirt that cuts off high to show off her large and solid thighs, perhaps as part of a jumper/"school girl" uniform combined with a white short-sleeve shirt. These aren't defining characteristics however, the Chunky Japanese Manga Girl has developed a wide range of colorations to lure in its prey, from "big socks" to mini-skirt'ed sailor suits. If all else fails, the Chunky Japanese Manga Girl is often accessorised with Hello Kitty or Sailor Moon accessories that can be used to identify this species.

Habitat: Manga and anime conventions, upscale downtown shopping areas near comics stores, attached to its prey in tourist areas of San Francisco or upscale shopping areas.

Danger to observer: Utterly harmless to most observers. Completely deadly to its chosen prey, the gaijan otaku -- the white American aficionado of Japanese anime and manga. Infatuation is swiftly followed by a long courtship which extracts all resources of the otaku while completely cutting off the otaku from his family and friends. The otaku is sucked in to the Chunky Japanese Manga Girl's orbit and can be observed clinging to her and catering to her every whim and buying her everything she ever wanted. At the end of this courtship the dried-up husk of the otaku, drained of all life and money, is discarded like an old banana peel, and a new otaku is located to repeat the process.

Mating habits: she mates only with white American otaku. If you have no idea what Hello Kitty or Sailor Moon are or the difference between manga and anime, she has no interest at all in you and will move to find new prey. Reproduction of this species is rumored but has never been observed in the wild, it is presumed that, prior to discarding her otaku, she allows sexual activity one and only one time and then if it results in pregnancy further extracts child support payments from the dried-up husk of her otaku to further the raising of a new Chunky Japanese Manga Girl offspring.

Suggestions for observer: If you have no interest in Japanese anime or manga, feel free to observe this species in complete safety. Do not approach too closely if she has her prey attached to her, however, for her otaku may misinterpret your approach as a clumsy pass and attack you. If you are a fan of Japanese anime or manga, on the other hand, exercise extreme caution and treat this species much the same way you'd treat a shark while swimming -- i.e., as something to get away from ASAP. The horror, oh the horror!

-- Badtux the Naturalist Penguin

Over at Moto-Tux

... the penguin talks about torque wrenches and thread repair. For those of you who wrench, or wanna wrench...

-- Badtux the Wrenchin' Penguin

Priceless

Stolen in whole from Maru the Crankpot: Cranky old psycho John 'foreign policy experience!' McCain confused African countries while talking to reporters on the Senile Express today. This time, he was bailed out not by insufferable quisling Joe Lieberman, but by his nanny, Marky "Poppins" Salter.

“How can we bring pressure on the government of Somalia,” McCain asked, "to get off my lawn?!"

“Sudan,” Salter said.

“Sudan,” McCain repeated, then called him a cunt and went back to sleep.

-- Badtux the Outsnarked Penguin

June "worst month since the Great Depression"

Gee, that's reassuring. June was the worst month for the stock markets since the Great Depression.

And it ain't gettin' better. There's a mean kind of justice comin' down, and it's coming down on all of us, not just on the evil and the venal, the greedy and the deceiving. It is coming down on all of us, deserving or not. And maybe we as a people, in our willful ignorance and apathy, our willingness to believe any lies we hear as long as they're lies that we want to hear because they excuse us from, like, doing something, actually do deserve this mean kinda justice that's going to slam into us like a Freightliner doing 80 down the Sunol Grade with no brakes and no intention on stoppin' even if it did have brakes...

-- Badtux the Apocalyptic Penguin

Counterinsurgency is un-American

That is the basic conclusion of a number of recent postings by Ranger over at Ranger Against War: that counterinsurgency as practiced by the U.S. Army and Marines is un-American, because it is the imposition by force of a government upon another people.

Then comes the rebuttal, "if the choice is between a failed state and a counter-insurgency, don't we have to do counter-insurgency?" But that ignores the fact that every failed state we've encountered thus far has originated because we went in and kicked over the ant hill that was the previous government. In other words, we are talking about whether an egg should be poached or fried, when the question is, should we be eating an egg at all? President George H.W. Bush had the correct posture on this question: "Don't eat the egg." I.e., don't kick over the state. He destroyed Iraq's ability to project power beyond its borders and neutralized Iraq's threat to its neighbors, but did not topple Saddam Hussein, because he realized that it simply was not necessary. Saddam minus his nuclear weapons program and military machine posed no threat to anybody, and could be allowed to fester until the day he died or was deposed by someone else within Iraq.

But even if we do for some reason need to kick over a state, the second notion is that a failed state poses some existential threat to the United States of America. It does not. Bad actors located in a failed state are capable of occasional acts of terrorism of the nature of Sept. 11, 2001, but those acts are incapable of toppling or even gravely harming the United States. More Americans die in auto accidents each month than have been killed by acts of terrorism against the American people during the whole existence of the United States of America. So even if we did kick over the ant hill because we had no choice but to do so, there is no need to send U.S. military forces in as an occupation force afterwards.

The fact of the matter is that there is only one threat to the modern organized state, and that is military forces projected against it by other modern organized states. Imperial Japan in 1941 had such military forces. Nazi Germany in 1939 had such military forces. A failed state such as Afghanistan does not. That is the basis of my biggest disagreement with John Robb, who has asserted that "5th generational warfare" originating from failed states presents an existential threat to modern nation-states. Robb points to the successes of Hizballah in Lebanon, the Taliban in Afghanistan, and the Iraqi resistance movements in defeating the armed forces of invading outsiders. What he fails to point out is that these organizations are successful because they are defending. They control the ground and can carefully prepare it. They control the time at which they will confront the opposing force. They blend in with the populace at times they are not confronting the opposing force, because they are the populace. Hizballah can succeed against the IDF in Lebanon because the IDF is operating upon their territory. But Hizballah has been singularly unsuccessful at any attempts to invade Israel, because Hizballah fighters stand out from the general Israeli population and are swiftly located, fixed, and destroyed by superior conventional military forces.

And as it is with Israel, so it is with the United States. The notion that the Iraqis are going to "follow us home" if we withdraw from Iraq is ludicrous. First, there is the question of how they would get here. There is a big pond between us and them. Doh! Secondly, even if they did manage to get here, they would be isolated, easily identified, and easily destroyed by U.S. police forces, which have weapons and tactics to deal with anything other than an all-out army group, and if there is an all-out army group involved then the National Guard is capable of taking that out.

In short, the U.S. needs only a small Rumsfeldian conventional military in order to take out any current or future existential threat to the United States. Counter-insurgency operations are counter-productive, not something that the U.S. is good at, and to be done successfully would require a level of forces that the U.S. is not capable of sustaining for long periods of time. The Rumsfeld "thunder run" military was quite effective in two wars with Iraq at the task of destroying existential threats to the United States or neighboring states of Iraq. Via air power and superior mobility, our military demonstrated that it could immobilize and defeat in detail any military threat posed by any existing state no matter what state we are talking about. In the meantime, failed states and terrorism pose no existential threat to the United States, and while they need to be dealt with in as assertive a manner as possible, occupation of and counter-insurgencies within these nation-states a) doesn't work, and b) is simply and bluntly un-American.

-- Badtux the Geopolitical Penguin

A penguin's guide to Bay Area wildlife

It is little known that the San Francisco Bay area is home to some of the most exotic wildlife on the planet. Now, I hear you scoffing. "It's all paved!" you say. "It's all covered with horrible glass block office complexes and strip malls and cookie-cutter homes!" But that doesn't matter. Indeed, it makes the wildlife even more exotic.

Today's wildlife is... The Sulky Americanized Asian Daughter

Habitat: Typically, Vietnamese restaurants, though other Asian restaurants may also hold the occasional example of this wildlife.

Identifying marks: Skin-tight hip-hugger jeans, skin-tight t-shirt emphasizing her small pert breasts, long silky black hair, perpetual look of being put-upon due to being forced to work in the family restaurant.

Danger to observer: Moderate. She will slam hot bowls of soup onto your table as if personally insulted by your very existence. There have been rumors that she will spit in the soup "just because" if she thinks she can get away with it. However, unlike other forms of wildlife spotted here in the Valley there is no long-term harm from this species, due to its specialized mating habits.

Mating habits: she mates only with the Sulky Americanized Asian Son (of a different Asian family). Attempts to obtain a date with this species will result only in a sneer of disdain. You are not worthy and you will never understand.

Suggestions for observer: Do not look directly at this species unless you like hot soup in your lap, especially if your look could be interpreted as staring at her breasts. Interact with this species as little as possible and do not approach. While the danger is moderate, the danger is real.

-- Badtux the Wildlife Penguin

The truth that cannot be stated

General Wesley Clark had the gall to state that John McCain's military experience had nothing to do with his qualifications for President. As ABC's Rick Klein was quick to point out, big mistake.

Rick Klein is right. The truth -- that spending 5 years getting tortured in a POW camp qualifies you for a lifetime of physical and psychological therapy and permanent disability payments from the Navy, not for President -- simply cannot be stated. Because people who state the truth will always get shot down by Johnny McCain's cronies in the press corps, who he seems to have bought off with barbecues and "straight talk".

Truth? The American public -- and the American press -- can't handle the truth. More lies, please! We need lies, give us lies, we need more, more, more!

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Just Say No

California's spineless legislators ain't doin' their jobs again. Rather than passing their laws, they're requiring us citizens to do their job. Thus far 11 initiatives on the fall ballot. And possibly more -- there's still 18 petitions circulating around out there and the deadline hasn't arrived yet for November. Gah!

My policy on ballot initiatives is a flat “NO” to all of’em. I don’t have the time or a paid staff to research the economic effects of all these damned things. I already pay someone who does have the time and paid staff, whose job is to say yay or nay on laws, I’m talking about my legislator of course. I damn well expect him to do his job and resent mightily every goddamn time those bastids try to make me do their jobs.

The only time I make an exception is when the new ballot initiative overturns an old ballot initiative. When overturning Proposition 13 comes on the ballot, I will vote for it in pride — that’s the main reason why California has such a housing shortage, Prop 13 basically sets it up so people can’t afford to move because then they’d get a new property tax assessment based on current value, not one from 20 years ago. So you got old farts stuck in properties too big for them but they can’t afford to move because they’d end up paying too much property tax if they did… or else they move out-of-state, but then ya gotta live amongst the heathen. Ugh!

Anywho: I pay my legislator to pass laws. I ain’t gonna do his job for him, and I wish he’d quit sending me these goddamn initiatives and askin’ me to do his job for him. As for the ones put on the ballot by special interests paying signature-getters... fuck'em all. Not a single one of them is good for the people, only for the rich fucks who put them there. ‘Nuff said.

– Badtux the “It ain’t my job” Penguin

Cough... cough... cough...

The penguin has been hacking and wheezing and his eyes have been watering for the past couple of days because the Silly Cone Valley is covered with smoke from all the fires. I can't even see the top of Mount Hamilton. Hell, I can't even see Mount Hamilton through the haze.

Global warming is a hoax, my ass...

-- Badtux the Wheezing Penguin