Friday, April 01, 2011

A shocking revelation from the past

For almost 100 years it has been thought that the HMS Titanic sank because it collided with an iceberg. For almost 100 years it has been thought that those who did not flee in the lifeboats, who were stranded upon the sinking Titanic, drowned upon the ocean. But it was a lie. A bald-faced lie, a lie propagated by both survivors and authorities because the truth, the real truth, was too horrifying for public consumption.

But photographic evidence has now surfaced of the real cause of the sinking of the HMS Titanic and the fate of those who could not flee in the lifeboats. I ask that small children and those weak of stomach turn their eyes aside now, prior to seeing the photograph below, which is so horrific as to bring tears to one's eyes as you contemplate the fate of the lonely survivors on the Titanic who were, one by one, consumed by the horrific beasts which sank that bold ship....

Yes, fellow blog readers, the Titanic was sunk by giant cats, and those who failed to escape were consumed, each and every one, in most painful and horrifying way as the giant cats tore through the hull of the ship sniffing out every morsel and drawing the poor man, woman or child screaming to its gaping maw.

As for those who claim that this cannot be so, because cats do not swim... I present this video proof that you are completely incorrect:

As for the authorities who hid the existence of these giant man-eating cats from humanity for all these decades: For shame, gentlemen. For shame. How many others died because of your refusal to give ships' captains the information needed in order to protect their vessel and their charges from this dire threat? This penguin is sad, thinking about all those people turned into fish bait just because Mayor Larry Vaughn decided that the profits of his shipping lines was more important than the life of innocent passengers...

-- Badtux the Tongue-in-beak Penguin



  1. Why... HOW... has this horror been concealed from the American Public for so long? BT, I applaud you for you dedication to journalistic integrity.

  2. This screams for some bad jokes, but I'm not gonna go there . . .

    JzB the restrained trombonist


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