Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Top ten arguments against reforming health care

So, here we go...

10. I enjoy paying for the ER visits of the uninsured via higher insurance premiums.
9. Being bankrupted by medical bills if I get sick makes me happy.
8. I enjoy being tied to a big corporate job because I can't afford health insurance costs for starting my own innovative small business. Innovation is overrated.
7. It's a good thing that I get to see Jesus earlier if my employer collapses and I lose my job so have no COBRA coverage and no health insurance.
6. And about that COBRA coverage -- Paying $400/month for health insurance while I'm unemployed just makes me feel warm and fuzzy.
5. Having my policy cancelled arbitrarily for failing to report illnesses that I didn't even know about when I need expensive cancer treatment is great! Just another way to see Jesus earlier!
4. I don't need health insurance because it's just a way to keep me from seeing Jesus earlier. All I need is prayer!
3. I will never get old, so don't need to worry about being one of the 21% of people who insurers refuse to insure due to "pre-existing conditions" when my Fortune 500 employer lays me off for being old.
2. I have a RIGHT to have other people pay my health care bill if I'm uninsured by choice and break an arm and need to go to the emergency room! Deadbeats unite!
1. Working class people who can't afford health insurance or people with serious medical problems who can't get insurance due to "pre-existing conditions" should just die peacefully instead of nattering about some silly "right to life" nonsense. Let them eat cake!

Yessiree, it's clear. Health reform isn't needed at all, because we are, like, God's own Country with God's own health care system and all we need is faith, faith I say! And prayer. Lots of prayer. Well, and luck. Luck helps too. And ...

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin


  1. I for one am insured by Smith and Wesson . They handle both my home and health insurance very nicely and for only a one time fee ! They are especially good at covering one's final request in the case of Cancer or some other incurable disease . They are lousy at the Pharmacy however unless of course you want the entire "backroom" stock at one time . My policy even has a choice of finishes ; plain blue , chrome and my very favorite Stainless steel , in case you want your policy to be all-weather . Yes , the finest insurance company on the planet , why bother with useless treatments , long waits or cancellations at a crucial time , even covers you when you are unemployed ! Get YOURS Today !
    a not so tounge in cheek w3ski

  2. Yessiree, we might not have the right to life (healthcare, same deal) here in the U S of A, but we sure howdy do have the right to (deal) death, why it sez so right thare in the second amendment to the constituwhatsit! U S A! U S A! U S A! Fuck yeah!

    - Badtux the Patriotic Penguin

  3. May I print this out and send it to the Congresscritters?

  4. Beer.
    Ale's what cure's 'ya.

  5. Who is arguing for the status quo? Nobody except maybe the insurance companies. I think I can presume with good confidence that you are talking about Republicans and others who are against a government insurance option. You are using this logical fallacy: if program A can result in achieving ends B, then if you don't agree with A you must also disagree with B.


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