Friday, December 01, 2006

The war on everything pleasurable

Once again, a heavily-armed gang dressed in paramilitary regalia has broken into an innocent citizen's home and shot her dead. One of the things I missed last week while on my annual migration was the death of Kathryn Johnston in Atlanta, who managed to injure three of her paramilitary attackers before being herself shot dead.

Of course, the masked paramilitary gangsters turned out to be Atlanta police officers, so they will, of course, walk away, even though it turns out they asked an informant to lie on their behalf.

Some people ask me if I'm anti-police. I have to say, I'm not seeing anything that the police in America do today that would not be done just as well by issuing a .38 caliber revolver to each and every adult American along with a choice of holsters to carry it concealed or non-concealed (whoa, how Libertarian of me!). Muggings? All the cops do is take reports, they don't do anything about it. Burglaries? All the cops do is take reports, they don't do anything about it. Accidents? All the cops do is take reports after the accident is over, they can't prevent it. Frankly, I am in far more danger from the police than I am from anybody they're supposedly "protecting" me and my shotgun from. When it comes to the current role of the cops in the community -- i.e., to arrive after all the fireworks are over and take reports for the use of the insurance companies -- might as well just have insurance company investigators take the reports directly and eliminate the middle-man.

The .38 would be cheaper too -- we currently spend over $40 billion dollars *PER YEAR* on the 'War on Drugs' alone. Two year's worth of that would buy a good-quality .38 and box of bullets for each and every adult American, not that we'd need to do that since many Americans already own their own weapons. And that's just a small fraction of the law enforcement budget in America...

Of course, there's one big Achilles heel here, and one which I'll address in a seperate post. I'll just ask you the one pressing question that nobody, NOBODY ever asks except a few of us loony toons Libertarians: Why do we need cops anyhow, given that they seem to be as dangerous to innocents as they are to criminals?

Other than, that is, to fight an ongoing "war on everything pleasurable" (of which the War on Drugs is a small part) on behalf of the small percentage of religious zealots who would love to impose a theocratic dictatorship over us but, lacking the power to do so, instead satisfy themselves with trying to make everybody else as miserable as they are?

This is especially true of the FBI and other federal law enforcement agencies. The United States existed just fine for the half of its existence that there were no federal law enforcement agencies. We have hundreds of thousands of armed local cops who serve just fine at enforcing local laws regarding murder and whatfor. FBI, ATF, DEA, whatever -- why do we need them, other than to enforce the theocratic agenda of making pleasure illegal?!

- Badtux the Questioning Penguin


  1. The police don't seem to have any particular function as I see it. In the Uk they are now being told not to pursue miscreants as it would contravene Health and Safety regulations. If you report a crime to the police they just add it to their statistics, god forbid that they would actually try to do something useful. The easiest 'criminals' to catch are the speeding motorists, and the police get to make more money catching them rather than stopping burglars and muggers, rapists and child molesters. Come to think of it, most of the police are made up of fraudsters, rapists, wife-beaters, and child molesters anyway.

  2. Hmm, six weird things about me?

    1. I'm a penguin.
    2. I'm a penguin who doesn't like to eat raw fish (I don't like sushi).
    3. Despite having webbed feet and flippers, I ride a motorcycle.
    4. I ingest about a quart of hot sauce per month.
    5. I live on an iceberg that is docked in Northern California
    6. I don't like the Pittsburgh Penguins hockey team.

    Dunno who I'd tag...

    -Badtux the Odd Bird Penguin

  3. As much as anything else, I think we need cops because so many people refuse to, umm, self police.

    They don't want YOU telling their kid to be good. So you need a third party, a cop.

    Actually, I have no problem with police. Think of how the world would be without them.

  4. The Libertarians claim that people who refuse to self-police would get removed from the gene pool rather swiftly in Libertopia. As those who refuse to self-police got policed by their fellow (well-armed) citizens, the population would swiftly become more polite and better at self-policing.

    But you're close. Really close. I'll let you know tomorrow just how close you are to the *real* reason why Libertopia doesn't/can't work...

    - Badtux the Civics Penguin

  5. i had one of my talks with my conservative uncle over t-giving. he's also an attorney of great skills (tax law and contracts). he was spouting about "tort reform" i said "bring back dueling." if two people care to follow the code duello which is an intricate dance of manners and custom (mostly designed to give the two parties a way out with no bloodshed) followed by a witnessed, fair fight. i figure lawsuits like fraud, most white collar crimes, medical malpractice, libel, slander, a lot of stuff would just go away if say, rush limbaugh could expect a call from someone who would say "micheal j. fox is a friend of mine and you sir, are a lying douchebag. choose your weapons."

    also, the study of arms is an intensive process. people would be spending time in the fencing salons and at the range with their flintlocks. a duel takes skill, and nerve.

    and i don't just say that because i can use many different kinds of sword well, most with either hand and shoot like a hungry backwoodsman, although it certainly influenced my evaluation.

  6. Yeah, but there'd be some idiot that would choose AK-47s, and then everyone would get punched full of holes. :-(

    But, sometimes, everyone does need to get punched full of holes.



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