Thursday, March 04, 2010

Manliness fail

Anne Laurie over at Balloon Juice points out a major penis substitute fail at Balloon Juice: Gun nuts, rather than exercising their legal right to open carry in Virginia to go into biker bars and redneck icehouses or take a stroll through the worst parts of Richmond, the parts where drug deals go down on street corners, decide they're going to demonstrate their manliness by walking into... Starbucks.

Yes, Starbucks. Home of latte'-sippin' elitists, pencil-neck geeks with laptops, and other such obviously threatening people. And they walk in, six-irons on their hips, to order... what? A black coffee with a shot of whiskey? Nope. A banana Frappuccino with a cinnamon bun. How... manly, bwahahaha!

I guess open carrying into McDonalds was too threatening for them. Why, one of the mommies watching their tykes at the kiddie play area might have seen them come in, surmised that an armed robbery was going down, pulled out her concealed weapon, and blown them away -- or worse yet, said mean words to them and sent them home crying to Mommy. Alrighty, then!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin


  1. Welcome to Richmond -- gateway to the 19th century.

    Yeah, you can walk into a Starbucks wearing a gun in plain view around here. But if I were to enter that same Starbucks with a dildo in my hand, forget about it -- I would be sooo ejected.

    Then again, I don't go to Starbucks for much of anything. Unless it's quarter to six in the morning, I'm not at home, I need to pee, and the Starbucks just happens to be right there. Which might happen once every third or fourth blue moon...

  2. But Jim... a banana Frappuccino with a cinnabun. Uhm... dude. Seems clear he's slung the big gun on his hip to compensate for the little gun in his pants, yo, buying a froo-froo drink like that.

    And Richmond can't be that 19th century if even the gunslingers drink frappuccinos ;).

    - Badtux the Snarky Penguin

  3. They need to be strapped to go into Starbucks? Makes as much sense as most of their talking point I suppose.


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