Thursday, January 17, 2008

Boom rattatata clash Boom rattatata clash Boom

Got my other MIDI cable tonight and hooked up my Yamaha keyboard. At the moment I'm using it as simply a keyboard controller for software instruments, since it's a cheap consumer keyboard.

I went by The Starving Musician (a local outfit) to buy the cable. It was 7:30pm. *CLOSED*. So I drove an additional five miles to The Guitar Center, a national discount chain sorta the Wal-Mart of musical instruments. *OPEN*. Now, folks wonder why I don't support locally-owned stores? Well, it's because the locally-owned stores are run by fuggin' *MORONS*. Look. Musicians ain't morning people. That's just a fact of life. So WTF does The Starving Musician do? They open at 9 fuggin' AM and close at 5 fuggin' PM, just like a fuggin *BANK*. Crap, your average musician ain't even out of fuggin *BED* until 3PM or so, and by the time he takes a shower, brushes his teeth, and combs his hair, The Starving Musician is *closed*!

This is a general problem. My local NAPA auto parts store? Closes at 5pm. So I go to Checker/Kragen or Pep Boys if I'm just buying oil or wiper blades or such. My locally owned tool shop? Closes at 6PM and is closed on Saturdays and Sundays. So I go to Sears to buy tools. Yada, yada, yada.

Fact of the matter is that most of the failing locally-owned businesses in this country *DESERVE* to fail. They're run for the convenience of their owner-operators, not for the convenience of their customers. If I can't get to your store while it's open because I gotta work for a fuggin' living, *I CAN'T BUY ANYTHING THERE!* Why is that such a hard concept to fathom?

Oh fugghetabout it. I got the keyboard hooked up, loaded up the drumkit, and laid down a drum track. Nothing fancy, just a loopable Boom ratatata clash Boom ratatata clash Boom, with a stately pace that immediately suggested a melody. Problem is, the melody it suggested requires bagpipes skirling in the background. Ain't no MIDI instrument for bagpipes (well, there is one in my software instrument library but it sounds like a friggin' organ to me, not bagpipes) and I think I would get evicted from my apartment if I tried to play the real thing in here (a little thing in my apartment lease about being prohibited to bring instruments of torture into my apartment or strangle inanimate objects or somethin' like that :-). Oh well, I'll just have to fake it with pennywhistles or that fake organ-bagpipe MIDI instrument, I suppose. Not the same thing, but sometimes a penguin has to improvise!

I think I'm gonna enjoy this MIDI thing, heh!

-- Badtux the Music Penguin

7 comments:

  1. I've wondered why the local businesses do that. They should realize people work or go to school during the day. There are some home grown shops where I like to spend money now and then. They actually stay open until 6:00PM:)

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  2. Yeah.... Musicians are not morning people, they are party animals. And many of the ones I know are druggies and drunks.

    When I owned my parts house I kept the hours 8 to 6. It was my business, I ran it the way I wanted to and if others didn't like that, to bad.

    I had another life also.

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  3. to fake bagpipes on a synth you can often use the bassoon sets for the drones (in open fifths) and the oboe set for the chanter. but, really, nothing sounds like bagpipes. for most of the real instruments even when using a digital board i prefer the sound that you get from going from the guitar to a mic, then into the digital realm better than from even an acoustic oriented pickup. something happens to the sound when it crosses the air. of course, in an apartment studio there are bound to be ambient noise interference issues, so one must do what one must. the last time i did a bagpipe thing on tape worked out cool. i had the mic set up in the studio and was playing the pipes just outside the door and a little bit down the hall. it gave a perfect "skirling in the distance" feel.

    i'm of the same mind tux. i have a good local owned store here now. most of the employees are working musicians and the hours of the store reflect that. no wonder your guys are "starving." i also buy my usual stuff like strings, picks, and gear from the online musician's friend site. i can't see paying up the butt when i can buy in bulk and save money. i have, just recently on some cords i had to replace, called the local guy, read him the price off the web page and driven down to his store when he said "i can beat that."

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  4. Well, BBC, with an attitude like that it's no wonder you no longer run a parts house.

    MB, yes, decided ambient noise issues. If you listen very carefully to the end of the last song I posted, to the part where the guitar is trailing off, you can faintly hear a jet airliner landing at the airport (I live under the flightpath). That is with a cardoid microphone three inches from the soundhole pointed directly at the soundhole. Unless you know what you're listening for you won't notice or will think it is just some random hiss or hum, but so it goes. I will try your advice on faking bagpipes, but am suspecting that this is one of those things where the result won't be particularly satisfactory. Ah well. Most of my ideas for songs never pan out anyhow, so it wouldn't be the first time...

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  5. MIDI is good, yes?

    Nice to know that you're having fun with your new musical toys. But bagpipes, real or simulated? Not my thing. Anyway...

    One thing I love about most synths is that you have all these sound patches -- hundreds of them -- right there in one instrument. Not only can you write a piece of music for a small or mid-sized orchestra using just the one synth; if you know what you want to hear and are familiar with the ranges of the instruments you're simulating, you can almost make it sound like it's being performed by a real orchestra. Pretty neat deal.

    Or you can just experiment with the patches one at a time, or blend two or more together and hear what they sound like. My "staple" patches, back when I was writing my own music, were piano, clav, harpsichord, some organs, strings, and certain basses. I rarely used any guitar patches, mainly because they clearly sounded fake (not to mention stale) to me. Piano patches sound much more authentic. I attribute that to the fixity of the 88 notes on a piano. Barring the inevitable detuning issues, every time you play, say, the A-flat below middle C, you're going to hear the exact same A-flat note. The hammer hits the string(s), a tone is produced, and that's that.

    Guitar notes contain a fluid element piano notes lack. The strings can be stretched as well as fretted, slightly altering their pitch. It's a minor detail, but it's what separates real guitar notes from electronically generated ones -- I have yet to hear the synth that can satisfactorily duplicate that one minor detail.

    Boy, I do like to ramble when it comes to keyboards. I'm a-shut up now...

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  6. I no longer run a parts house because I sold it to move a woman to Montana in an attempt to keep her happy.

    As for the parts house, it was a good business and treated me well. You don't know what you are talking about, you just like to blow smoke out your penguin butt.

    If you don't like how parts houses are ran go start your own, Mr. Know It All.

    You don't even own the place you live in, and I do, free and clear. for a dumb fuck I do okay. :-)

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  7. Hey Jim, actually the only new toy is the Apple Logic and the MIDI cable. Everything else just got slowly accumulated over time. The keyboard, for example, is a couple of years old now, just never got hooked up to the computer before, and I got the mikes and sound system, what, six months ago? I'm just slowly accumulating things as I get the money to do so. The next "toy" will be that Ovation guitar that I saw hangin' on the wall at that guitar store to replace my worn-out plywood Yamaha (not worth re-fretting the cheap piece of junk), but the near-four-figure pricetag on that sucker means that'll be a while...

    -- Badtux the Music Penguin

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