Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Another death-by-cop

Fat people can't breathe if they're on their stomach. So what did the Santa Clara County Sheriff's department do in San Jose when they handcuffed a fat man who was drunk and causing a disruption at a family party? Why, they handcuffed him on his stomach with his hands behind his back. And he suffocated to death. Duh.

This isn't rocket science, people. Handcuff a fat person face down, he dies. It's as simple as 1+1=2. So why is it that dozens of fat people have died in the last couple of years after being handcuffed by cops with their hands behind their back, face down?

Oh yeah, his name was "Irving R. Mendez". So it isn't as if he were a real person. He was one of them, you know, them? Suspiciously dusky? Don't talk right? Probably some kinda criminal? You know, them, those darkies! Good white God-fearin' Americans don't need to be afraid of police tactics here, just... those people. It was the guy's own fault anyhow for being fat, it's only right that being fat = a death penalty if the cops handcuff you, the guy shoulda gone on a diet and lost all that weight before he got drunk. Yessiree, it's the victim's fault. The cops didn't do nothin' wrong, nossiree, we gotta be tough on crime (i.e., let the cops kill all them darkies they want), else those darkies will get uppity and sneak into our bedrooms at night and kill us all (SHUDDER!). We must applaud these brave cops for defending us from those nasty brown people, much the same way as all good Germans must applaud Hitler for protecting them from those (shudder) Jews.

Alrighty, then!

-- Badtux the "Darkies are the new Jews" Penguin

2 comments:

  1. You mean, we can rid the world of the fatties just by making them lay on their stomachs. Obese Person Expiration Syndrome. (OPES)

    Do the police let the white fatties lay on their back? Obese Racial Profiling must stop!

    Is it politically incorrect for a super slim dude to make fun of the beer-belly crowd? I must be a terrorist, because they are all skinny, so be careful of those skinny jerks.

    Do your patriotic duty, get fat, stay fat, so we can more easily identify those thin enemies of America.

    .....and never sleep on your stomach......

    ReplyDelete
  2. You ever notice on those reality cop shows that the white guy is handcuffed and SITTING on a curb or leaning on a car, all the while blubbering away about his rights being violated? Yet, when they show a black man or brown man, he's gang-tackled and punched into submission, maced, and threatened with tasering, all the while 10 other cops have their weapons aimed at the "suspects" heads.

    Yeah, Land O' Liberty.

    ReplyDelete

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