Friday, September 04, 2009

Pizza Review: Safeway Select Pepperoni Pizza

"Made with Zesty Pepperoni and a Blend of RIch Mozzarella, Parmesan, Romano, and Asiago Cheeses. Thin Crispy Crust."

Well, they got one out of four: It's got plenty of pepperoni. Indeed, pepperoni is all you can taste. That, and a vaguely chemical taste from the crust. The crust has a reasonable consistency but no taste other than the taste of preservatives and library paste. The cheese is there but contributes virtually nothing, so predominant is the pepperoni taste. The sauce is plentiful but tasteless, without the spicy tomato-oregeno taste needed to counter the salty fatty taste of pepperoni and pepperoni grease. There is very little to recommend this pizza except its price, and frankly, for the price I'd prefer to go grab one of those Little Caesars $5 pizzas. Yes, that bad.

So be thankful for this penguin's sacrifice. I starve myself all week to be able to bring you these pizza reviews on Fridays without turning into even more of a waddling waterfowl, and I have saved you from a fate far better than death, but still far worse than an edible pizza should be. This pizza is not utterly disgusting, I did not have to force myself to eat it unlike a couple of pizzas I've reviewed in the past, but it most definitely has nothing (zero) to recommend it in my opinion. Avoid.

-- Badtux the Pizza Penguin


  1. Thank you for the sacrifice, Badtux.
    We need some more updated tastings of MRE's, though...they have any new flavor offerings? ;-)

  2. I think you're on the wrong track here with peperoni pizza. Wouldn't herring, or at least anchovies be a better benchmark?

    JzB the fish trombonist


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