Thursday, September 10, 2009

How to become a wingnut darling

Let's say you're a wingnut Representative from the Old South. You got a nigger President. Worst yet, you got an opponent breathin' down your throat who came within a few thousand votes of getting you thrown out of office despite your opponent having less money for his campaign than the average Mercedes Benz owner spends on caviar each year. You need money, you need publicity, and you need it fast. What do you do?

Well, you live in Crackerville, and everybody there hates niggers. So what do you need to do? Well... that's simple. While the President of the United States is speaking to Congress, jump out of your seat and shout, at the top of your voice, "LIAR!".

Presto chango, you just went from being an about-to-be-voted-out has-been to hero of the wingnut base, a sizable number of whom live in your district and hate niggers and spics and thus love the fact that you just called a nigger a liar (while lying in the process of doing so, but hey, let's not talk truth, what matters is truthiness!). Expect Rep. Joe Wilson to appear on Faux News multiple times over the next few weeks as their new hero of outrageous wingnuttery now that Sarah Palin is moving off into the sunset and Michelle Bachman is getting old (literally) and too crazy even for wingnuts to stand. And remember, if a Republican politician can tap into this wingnut base, he no longer needs the rich money men who traditionally have elected Presidents. Obama raised as much money from individuals via this new Internet-driven marketing and funding mechanism as he did from the traditional Democratic fundraisers aimed at the rich, and so the rich money men decide to keep their wallets closed because they don't want to be associated with this kind of lunacy? No problem... just twitter and blog around, and voila!

Of course, this is just a recipe for further labeling the Republican Party as a party of lunatics, conspiracy theorists, racists, and gun fetishists who stroke their guns while masturbating every evening, but hey, that's not Joe Wilson's problem. He just needs to get elected in 2010. And he just improved his chances of doing so, given the nature of his district. So anyhow, I gotta applaud Joe Wilson: He may have just helped his re-election chances immensely, but he also just helped the Republican brand go even further into the gutter. Bravo, Joe Wilson, for your fine efforts in electing more Democrats in saner parts of the country!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin


  1. I'm sure Wilson is disappointed that he couldn't just yell "Nigger" during the speech. But you gotta start somewhere. Anyone wanna bet that Deathers won't be shouting the N-word openly at Obama events before 2013?

  2. And as of this morning the leading democratic contender had picked up $100K in donations... overnight. From all over the country. And I think I saw earlier that the figure had broken $200K.

  3. Actually, I just came across another link to the ActBlue campaign... it's up to $574K now. Wilson is irrelevant; his disrespect and rudeness are inexcusable, but he is symptomatic of the larger issue with his party: "truth is what I want to believe." The interesting thing to watch here is the degree to which his emotional act of idiocy tarnishes the whole party; I see some evidence that's happening.

  4. Is that how they get votes 'down south' ? Gee whiz , I would have thought maybe a good ad campain , followed by public appearances where the issues were maybe , I don't know debated perhaps .
    You know I always pictured the South as this oassis of "civility" where people would sit for long hours discussing events and ideas . And wasn't dueling a favorite return for someone that said slanderous things like 'liar' about someone else in public ?
    Oh well another myth blown to bits by a right wing nut job .
    Will the right wing ever grow up ?

  5. Dude. Go read up on how LBJ won his second election (he lost his first). He got accused of being a nigger lover during his first election and never recovered his momentum from that. For his second election, he swore he'd get out first with the racist commentary. "Ain't nobody going to out-nigger me this time," he proclaimed to his advisers.

    That's the South. That's how it is. That's how it's always been. Folks might not say "nigger" in public now because, well, somebody might get offended, but I'm a native Southerner and I can damn well tell you that in family gatherings where they ain't no outsiders to get offended, the word is as common as fried catfish and cole slaw.

    - Badtux the Southern Penguin

  6. Politics, rolls eyes, they will bring this country down and we deserve it.

    But the last two comments on my blog today is a hoot.

  7. Sad to say, BBC, I can't say that I can disagree with your first statement. We have become too fat, stupid, and willfully ignorant as a nation. 54% say government ought to stay out of Medicare?! Siiiiiigh! It is enough to drive this penguin to the tins of kippered herring to drown his sorrows in the eye of the fish...

    -- Badtux the Depressed Penguin

  8. Gotta agree with Bukko. I seem to remember the LBJ story being that he won his second election by having his people spread the rumor that his opponent was a pigfucker - ie, he literally fucked barnyard swine. His aides were shocked, saying "Jesus, we can't get away with that. Nobody will believe it." To which LBJ replied "Of course not, but let's make the sonofabitch DENY IT."

    Of course, said anecdote comes from the writings of Hunter S. Thompson, so who knows if it's actually true or just another of The Good Doctor's acid-and-Wild-Turkey-fueled yarns...


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