Friday, July 21, 2006

World Nut Daily rolls out new Party line

I get World Nut Daily "news flashes". Usually these are along the lines of "new invention makes your car get 90mpg with nothing but a simple pill in your gas tank!", but occasionally I get to see the new Party talking points in action.

In this case, World Nut Daily's Jeruseleum (Mossad) correspondent says, "Hezbollah and Hamas are detirmined to strike the United States".

All along we've been going under the assumption that Israel is dictating U.S. foreign policy, i.e., that Israel told the U.S., "Support us because we're going after terrorists." But a bit more thought, and a look at the upcoming Party line (the Party rolls out its new "truths" by using World Nut Daily and its ilk as a testing ground) and a different scenario arises: What if the Mayberry Machiavellis in the Bush Administration are the ones dictating to the Israelis instead of vice-versa, urging Israel to make a ruckus that will hopefully raise chances of terrorism against the United States?!

Look, Republican polls are somewhere down around Richard Nixon 1974 territory. There's only one thing that could get those polls back up: A terrorist attack within the borders of the United States, and resulting "rally 'round the President" effect. Thus far, the Iraqi insurgents have refused to take the bait, as has Iran. But look, we have those two other terrorist organizations out there... if we goad Israel to poke at them, with the promise of lots of U.S. support in the background *and* foreground, maybe we can goad one of *them* to strike against the United states and rescue Republican power?!

It's just a conspiracy theory, of course. But are you paranoid if they're really out to get you? Hmm...

-- Badtux the Paranoid Penguin

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