To quote the New York Times:
It reads like a tally of terrorist targets that a child might have crafted: Old MacDonald's Petting Zoo, the Mule Day Parade, Sweetwater Flea Market and an unspecified "Beach at End of a Street."
Hey, they forgot my apartment complex's swimming pool, which lately has been visited by lots of dusky furriners. Wait, no, those are Indians, not Arabs. But wait, I seem to remember a movie where the Indians attacked white people! What? You're saying those were a different kind of Indian? I'm so confused!
... The database is used by Homeland Security to help divvy up the hundreds of millions of dollars in anti-terrorism grants each year.
Please, Mr. Homeland Security, can I get an anti-terrorism grant to secure my apartment complex's swimming pool against the threat of Indian terrorism? Why, they might shoot fire arrows onto the roof of my apartment building and KILL US ALL!
... The National Asset Database, as it is known, is so flawed, the inspector general found, that Indiana, with 8,591 potential terrorist targets, had 51 percent more sites listed than New York (5,687).
C'mon, everybody knows that there are no terrorist targets in New York. That gaping hole in Manhattan? Nothing to see there, just move along...
I need me some of the drugs that the folks at the Department of Homeland Security are smoking. I just wonder if the Slab Days Festival in Ringgold, Louisiana (population 1660) is listed in that database as a potential terrorist target? Woa, gotta send a Homeland Security grant down there RIGHT NOW to outfit their three-man police department with sub-machine guns and explosives-sniffing dogs! What, wait -- you say Louisiana has a Democratic governor? Cancel that grant! Obviously the fine folks in Omaha and Louisville need it worse.
-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin
No comments:
Post a Comment
Ground rules: Comments that consist solely of insults, fact-free talking points, are off-topic, or simply spam the same argument over and over will be deleted. The penguin is the only one allowed to be an ass here. All viewpoints, however, are welcomed, even if I disagree vehemently with you.
WARNING: You are entitled to create your own arguments, but you are NOT entitled to create your own facts. If you spew scientific denialism, or insist that the sky is purple, or otherwise insist that your made-up universe of pink unicorns and cotton candy trees is "real", well -- expect the banhammer.
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.