Shemp, Mo, and Larry "fix" my Internet

This is an actual EMAIL sent to an actual customer support person today, one week after I first reported my Internet not working. Note that attached to this EMAIL was the complete EMAIL log of my conversations with customer support over the past week. Names of the guilty have been changed to protect the guilty.

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From: BadTux
Sent: Wednesday, July 12, 2006 10:28 AM
To: support
Subject: Re: support issue!

Ticket 276965

Yesterday, I met Mo and Shemp at the apartment complex. Larry was not there, presumably he was off doing a job for Comcast. Mo looked at the tangle of wiring and dead hub behind the access plate in my coat closet. I provided a 7.5vDC power supply and showed them that the hub works, it's just not getting power (or signal from the router).

"Yep, no power! Where's the power?" "Don't ask me, I'm just the renter." "Nyuck nyuck nyuck!" "Stop that, Shemp!" [pie thrown] "Is the power up?" "No." "Is the power down?" "No." "The power's coming out of this wire which goes into a Cat5 bundle up above the access, where does it go?" "Up, Shemp!" "Well, let's go up!" "But Mo, up is another apartment!" "Yo! Apartment renter dude! What apartment is upstairs?" "Apartment 1233." "Hey Shemp, doesn't that address sound familiar?" "Hmm..." [sound of shuffling paper] "Yeah it does! Their Internet is out, too!" "Maybe it's out for the same reason? Maybe the power supply is up there in their coat closet?" (sound of silence) "Mo, did what the apartment renter say make sense?" "I don't know, Shemp. It was in English and I only speak Bangalore." "Go up. Up up up. The upstairs apartment is identical to mine. Look behind the plate in the coat closet of the upstairs apartment and see if the power is there. Up?" "Oh! UP! C'mon, Shemp, let's go UP!" "Uh, guys, could you let me know what you see up there?" "Sure." Exit front door. Thump thump thump upstairs. Thump thump thump across the floor over my head. Sound of pies being thrown and faces being slapped. Thump thump thump across the floor over my head. Thump thump thump down the stairs. Roar of truck engine and screeching of tires as Mo and Shemp head out, presumably to round up Larry and a fresh supply of pies.

I dunno, perhaps the Improv wasn't the best place to contract for technicians...

Needless to say, my Internet is still not working.

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Larry the Cable Guy was unavailable for comment.

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

PS: The customer support rep was fairly graceful in her response: "We do apologize for the continuing outage of your Internet. We are working to get a different technician dispatched out to fix the issue. Thank you for your patience."