Friday, August 26, 2011

Excellent advice

Governor Secaucus Fats(R-asshole) sez, "Get the hell off the beach. Use common sense and get to safety as soon as possible." And he's absolutely right, for one of the few times, like, ever. You New Jersey twits who have never lived through hurricanes don't have a clue, yo. This Hurricane Irene that's bearing down on your butts is a bitch. Like, a really killer. Just sayin'.

Governor Christie now officially graduates from my list of Republican Lizard People to my list of just plain assholes. The difference is that lizard people inherently are alien sociopaths, while assholes are human -- they're just, well, assholes.

-- Badtux the Common Sense Penguin


  1. Couldn't Gov. Doublewide just stand in the path of the hurricane and divert its course to the Azores or something?

  2. No big deal, just thinning out the herd some.

  3. There is no reason to back off of thinking that Governor Secaucus Fats(R-asshole) is a lizard alien.

    The guys who ran Auschwitz loved their families tenderly and were kind to their pets.


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  5. Bukko, Secaucus is fat, but he ain't 150 miles wide, he just looks like that on camera :).

    BBC, you sure you're not a lizard person? Hmm, you do look a bit lizardy...

    JzB, Gov. Doublewide looks genuinely annoyed by the fact that idiots are putting their lives in danger. That was the most exasperated-sounding presser I've heard from a politician in ages. Maybe he's a stealth lizard, but most of the lizard people I've encountered would have BBC's attitude above -- they'd get up there and do the required presser, but they'd have about as much genuine emotional involvement in the presentation as your average telephone pole. So yeah, he's an asshole, but if he's a lizard person, he's damn good at hiding it.

    Purple, good point. If Christie is a reptile, he's one that's a mite bit bigger than a lizard ;).

    Anyhow, the good news is that Irene seems to be weakening and now they're saying that the wall of water they feared is likely not to happen. Still, working on your tan at the beach is *not* the place to be when a hurricane is blowing in!

    - Badtux the Blown-on Penguin

  6. Gov. Doublewide just wants all the people to leave so that there is minimal loss of life but still major property damage. That way when he requests FEMA rebuilding, his best girl friend HO in congress, Erica Cantor can demand massive spending cuts to fund it. When the money isn't forthcoming, then rethugian investors will swoop in and buy all of the repossessed beach front property at a firesale price from the banks. What a diabolical plan.

  7. From the satellite pics he looks slightly smaller than Irene. But, maybe that's an optical delusion.

  8. Hehehehe... "Secaucus Fats"... I nearly blew beer through my nose when I read that.

  9. Ok - I grant that his lizardhood is in question. But Dave's explanation is rather compelling.

    If this show of emotion is 1) genuine concern, rather than just annoyance about needing to clean up the corpses AND 2) this indicates a quasi-human pattern of behavior, rather than a possibly accidental one-off, then I'll grant Christie his promotion.

    For now, he remains on probation.

    JzB The lixard skeptic.

  10. I guess it's too late to spread the idea that Irene is a climate change myth, and all good TeaBaggers should congregate on the beach to protest this obvious waste of government tax money?


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