Monday, July 23, 2007

The common ground

What do Santa Claus, Israel, Iraq, the United States, Jews, Muslims, Palestinians, Christians, Tuxologists, the Great Penguin, Jehovah, Allah, and the Easter Bunny all have in common?

I'll give you a hint. I point a human being out to you. Can you show me the "Jew" or "Christian" in him? Can you point it out to me, hold it up to me so I can see what it looks like? If I fire up Google Earth and show you a piece of ground, do you see any lines drawn on that ground that say one side is somehow different from the other?

I guess the first and last items should have made it clear what I'm up to. It's all imaginary. Made up. Just the overheated delusions of jumped up monkeys with delusions of grandeur. There's the world, there's us, there's the stuff in the world, that's it. All this religion and nationality and ethnicity and shit is just made up bullshit. There ain't one single bit of genetic difference between the monkeys who call themselves "Palestinians" and the monkeys who call themselves "Jews", for example. They just made up that silliness and use it as an excuse to kill each other. There is no such thing as some invisible sky demon called "Jehovah" or "Allah" or "The Great Penguin" who strikes down evildoers with lightning bolts or fire from the sky or rains of herring. There's just a bunch of monkeys who try to avoid the knowledge that they're just monkeys by making up invisible sky demons to make themselves feel bigger than other people.

I've been called "anti-Semitic", "anti-Muslim", "un-patriotic" anti-lots of things. But what I really am is anti-bullshit. If you can't smell it, touch it, sniff it, measure it, or otherwise interact with it on a real life basis, it's just made-up imaginary bullshit. And if you come around flogging made-up bullshit, then you deserve the flamethrower you'll get.

The reason you'll get the flamethrower is that bullshit has consequences. "America" may be made-up bullshit, but the guns being carried by monkeys who believe in that made-up bullshit kill just as well as if there was a such a thing as "America" that could be smelled, touched, sniffed, measured. But I can't go and pick up something and show it to someone and say "this is America". I can show people a piece of dirt, but that's dirt. I can show people a building, but that's brick and stone and steel. I can show people a piece of paper with some blotches of ink on it, but that piece of paper isn't "Islam". There really isn't a such a thing as "America" or "Islam" or whatever that you can see and touch. It's just made up bullshit by monkeys with too much imagination and delusions of grandeur.

What we are, friends and mammals, are animals. We are just animals. Animals with big brains and a propensity to spout imaginary bullshit, but animals all the same. We are born, we eat, we defecate, we grow up (can't really say "mature"), we fornicate and reproduce, we grow old, we die. Just like every other animal on this planet. We're unique amongst animals in that we've figured out ways to communicate stuff between us, and figured out ways to build impressive crap, and figured out impressive ways to kill each other and other animals. But in the end, we're just meat. Meat stuffed into sausage skin and wrapped around bone. Meat that has a bad tendency to flap its meat at each other and slice open each other's sausage wrappers to let the meat fall out, but meat all the same.

As for all that other stuff.... it's just bullshit. Made up. Imaginary. Ladies and germs, the Easter Bunny is not real. Neither is "Mexican". Neither is "Jew" or "Muslim". It's all just made up silliness by monkeys that have lost their bearings and lost track of what is true and what is real. What is true and real is that, in the end, we are all just monkeys (well, except those of us who are penguins!), and all the rest of that stuff is just bullshit that we ought to just ignore while we get along with living our little monkey lives in peace. Sadly, though, deluded fools who think made-up bullshit is, like, actually real, keep using those psychotic delusions to give them excuses to kill other monkeys. Pathetic. Simply pathetic. If you're going to kill someone, at least do it for a reason that's real, not for some made-up imaginary nonsense like "race" or "religion" or whatever....

-- Badtux the Bullshit-spottin' Penguin


  1. Now that was some good bullshit, you almost had me convinced that imaginary stuff was not real.

    Eeveryones knows that Harry Potter is going to become real and turn you into a mandrake root, then you'll be screaming like a realist baby. Give it 2000 or so years, Harry Potter will be the new Messiah.

    What do we have when we stop believing our fantasies? Meaningful life and reality is too frightening.

    I pray you'll close your eyes and just believe becuase it is the easy way to shift the blame of our evil ways and the only way to rid the world of common sense.

  2. I agree with much of what you said, but I do believe in things that are not tangible. However, I've looked at the photos of the earth, and I've never seen the lines - except for the Great Wall of China, the monstrosity down in Texas, and the one in Israel. So is time imaginary. Humans created it to measure the length of their days and the greatness of their glory. Barter is real, but what about money that is no longer backed by stuff that we value - gold? We'd be just as well off with beads - and I have lots of them.

    Tux, is your music as angry as your posts? I see your love through your cats. They are real. So are you!

  3. Whew, that rant blew my hat off and messed up my hair.

    I agree with you on the imaginary objects being used to justify the unjustifiable. Only a human being could come up with excuses like that. Other animals don't waste their time and energy on such things. If we could rid the world of greed, I believe it would be a much better and much nicer place.

  4. yes, perception can create illusion. But perception and reality are often one for most people. One's perception is often skewed by one's beliefs, judgments,indoctrination, mythology and just dumbassery. Excellent post.

  5. Hmmmph! I only kill people to eat them.

  6. Wow! That was awesome. I'm wholly on board with what you said. It's all imaginary bullsit.
    John Lennon once said, "God is a concept by which we measure our pain." He was almost right. The God concept is employed to induce pain.

    Just discovered your blog (and I don't mean that in a Christopher Columbus way).
    Awesome stuff!

  7. Sharecropper, I think you need to go check out The Dark Wraith's Economics 101 University on YouTube. In short, it does not matter whether money is backed up by gold or by the economy of the world, its only value is what we can trade it for. The food that money can buy is what has value. The money itself is just funny pieces of toilet paper with pictures of dead presidents on it, or, increasingly, just bits and bytes inside a computer somewhere. As for the notion that gold somehow is special, well, once again, you can't eat gold and gold does a lousy job of keeping the weather off of you when it's raining or keeping you warm when it's cold. The only advantage of gold is that governments can't print more of it when they run short of money and want to avoid raising taxes.

    Maria, yes, the problem with delusions is the actions that people take based on those delusions. The guy wandering downtown talking to his imaginary friends is dangerous enough, but when you have people flying jet planes into skyscrapers based on what their imaginary friends whisper into their ears, or bombing major cities into rubble based on what their imaginary friends whisper into their ears, it becomes deadly.

    Moderate: That's what deer hunters say about deer too :-). (Though I wish deer hunters would kill *more* of the four-legged vermin, having smashed two cars into the varmints over the years with the thousands of dollars worth of damage to show for it).

    - BT

  8. "There is no such thing as some invisible sky demon called "Jehovah" or "Allah" or "The Great Penguin" who strikes down evildoers with lightning bolts or fire from the sky . . ."

    Yes there is, its called Skynet.

  9. You take back what you said about SANTA CLAUS!! Right now!! ;-).

    Seriously...great post. My five year old daughter was in the car with me the other day and we drove by a church. She, out of the blue, asked me "Is God real or is he made up?" I said "Some people think he is real and some people think he is made up. Your daddy thinks he is real."

    "What do you think mommy?"

    I haven't told her about Santa or the Easter bunny yet and I didn't want to start with god, so I said "I'm not sure, sweetie." Thankfully, she was satisfied with that.

    If a five year old can recognize it.....


Ground rules: Comments that consist solely of insults, fact-free talking points, are off-topic, or simply spam the same argument over and over will be deleted. The penguin is the only one allowed to be an ass here. All viewpoints, however, are welcomed, even if I disagree vehemently with you.

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