Why does John Kerry bother getting out of bed in the morning?

Yes sirree, as someone who donated to John "I hocked my balls in 1975" Kerry, I'm on his mailing list. And he keeps sending me stuff. That I don't read. And keeps interjecting himself into Democratic Party stuff. As if he actually mattered anymore.

Now ole' Johnny boy says that we can "win" in Iraq if we just replace Donald Dumsfeld with, like, someone who hasn't lost all his brains to the brain-sucking alien in the Oval Office. WTF?! What does "win" mean?

Nobody's ever been able to answer that. To me, "winning" means some outcome that is good for America and Americans. I mean, that's the whole point of the Government of the United States -- that it is the government of the *UNITED STATES*, existing only because it has some benefit to the people of the United States. But I can't see any such outcome. Even the goal of "establishing democracy in Iraq", even if doable, would be good for Iraqis but probably not for America and Americans, since any viable democratically-elected Iraqi government *has* to be anti-American or else won't get the votes to be elected under any fair system of government, since America is hated with a passion in all sectors of Iraq except Kurdistan (which is still operating under the delusion that the Busheviks won't betray them in a second if there is political hay to be made).

As for Kerry, he is pathetic. He still thinks that any Democrat would vote for him again after Kerry betrayed his past and the Democratic Party by playing all haughty when the Flying Swift Boat Attack Monkeys were dispatched by the Wicked Witch of the Oval Office with orders "Attack, my little dearies, attack!", thenceforth to prime and pump their fecal orifices by gorging themselves on lies and slanders until the point of bursting, then take flight to fling feces with all the frantic intensity of a Halliburton executive seeking government money to do nothing. Under assault by these hoards of flying swift boat monkeys, truth becomes obscured under the feces flying everywhere, feces piling up in malodorous heaps of lies, libels, and confabulations, but Kerry didn't even *try* to clear a path through the piles of reeking feces, instead haughtily declaring himself above it all and piously proclaiming that the body public would somehow be super-smart and have x-ray vision enough to be able to see the truth buried under the constant rain of flying swift boat monkey feces.

Kerry is a loser.

There, I said it. Kerry... is... a loser. And needs to just shut his yap and let winners guide the party, instead of constantly attempting to interject himself into every debate and every discussion as if he actually really mattered anymore.

- Badtux the non-flying-monkey Penguin

Hat tip to Skippy the Bush Kangaroo