Thursday, January 22, 2009

The Christian case for abortion

A Christian believes that innocents go to Heaven when they die, right? So let's look at aborted babies (using the wingnut definition of "fetus=baby" just for the sake of argument). Those aborted babies, if you're a Christian they're all with your god now aren't they? They skipped the pain that goes with the human existence and went straight to the payday with their souls pure as snow untainted by the evil that as men they would certainly do. Seems to me that according to Christianity that'd be the best way to go, from zygote to Jesus with no time to get wicked.

Gosh, we could make this even simpler by just stationing a couple of folks with clubs at the maternity ward door. As someone comes out with a baby, the question: "Are you Christian?" "Why, yes!" (RIP thump thump thump thump) "My baby! Oh my poor baby! Why did you rip him out of my arms and club him to death?!" "It's for the best, ma'am. He's with Jesus now."

Hey, that's the Christian argument for abortion, not mine. So if you think it's disgusting, or un-Christian, or whatever, hey, take it up with the Christians, not a good Tuxologist like me. Since Tuxologist heaven is an everlasting iceberg with an unlimited supply of herring, we're not into that whole thumping of babies at the maternity ward door thing. I mean, c'mon. Ice. Herring. Forever. Geeze. Which is why Tuxologists believe in enjoying life *on* this world, not *afterwards*. Which is what makes us different from Crazy Church Lady and all her buds who think that, if, like, it's fun, then it's evil, because apparently fun is what happens after dying for Crazy Church Lady. Whatever.

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin


  1. Nice post. One problem in two words.

    Original Sin.

    They want to "save" these "babies" because they are all damned if they aren't born and baptised.

    Just a thought.

  2. Is a person who has not been baptized allowed to smim in the rose petals at god's feet?

    I've forgoten most of this stuff but purgatory popped up. You're roasted for a period of time to pay for the good times you had during life but still get to go through the gates or something like that.

  3. Well, Tom/One Fly, that doesn't explain why the Catholic Church opposes abortion. Seems to me that since the Catholic Church is a sprinkler infant baptiser church, all they'd need to do would be to have a priest handy to sprinkle the fetus with holy water (via an eye dropper I suppose) right before scraping the fetus off the side of the mommy's womb. Or have a priest handy beside the guys with the clubs to sprinkle the newborn baby right before it gets clubbed to death. Hmm...

    -- Badtux the Heretical Penguin

  4. You are so going to hell for this post. Save me a seat near the bar, please.

  5. Well this is certainly a new high low or high (depending on one's point of view) for snark. It's disgusting, yet, thought provoking.

    I can't decide whether to flame or praise.

  6. Did you turn the tv on and then off very quickly today also?

    Um. You don't have a tv, do you?


    Anyway, thanks for making me laugh. Obviously I have a twisted sense of humor.

  7. I have to wonder if these idiots will ever understand birth control.

    Fuck their gods.

  8. antiochsdad22/1/09 7:46 PM

    Actually, the logic works for those already born as well. Offing Christians is really doing them a favor, because that eliminates the possibility that they will succumb to temptation (those penuses, OH MY!!!!) and die before they can return to their self-assured state-of-grace self-righteousness. I'm not advocating it, mind you, just sayin'.

  9. Hmm, that sentiment can be summed up as "Caedite eos! Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius." -- Abbot Arnaud-Amaury of Citeaux

    - Badtux the Theology Penguin


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