Could a politician who doesn't lie ever get elected?

My answer: I doubt it.

Problem is, there's plenty of proof that most Americans want lies. Else they wouldn't believe in invisible sky demons and invisible spirits, which the majority of Americans do believe in, because believing in these things gives them comfort that they're more than just jumped-up monkeys with bad fur and delusions of grandeur, and that there's more to their pathetic lives of quiet desperation than eating, drinking, sleeping, fucking, pissing, shitting, and fighting. Reality of course is that the human race is monkeys with bad fur and delusions of grandeur, and all this "God" crap is just lies invented and willfully grasped by the majority of people in order to give their pathetic useless monkey selves "meaning" other than the fact that some day they, too, shall be worm food. But that truth is harsh and humbling, and the politician who grasps that the people want lies will always come in ahead of the politician who believes that the people want truth. Because we don't want truth. Truth is cold and harsh and merciless, while lies are warm and comforting and give our lives meaning.

Thus lies. The problem with the Bush administration is that they forgot one slight problem with lies -- when you lie, you should lie about things that cannot be easily verified. Like, for example, if you're going to lie about some sky demon that nukes cities and strikes down the first-born of an entire nation, make him an invisible sky demon who lives far, far away in an invisible place that nobody can get to without dying. That way nobody can verify your information (well, not in a way that matters, anyhow :-). Same deal goes with stuff like "trickle-down economics". Sure, it's a lie. But it's a lie that requires advanced statistics to prove is a lie, and it's always possible to say "well, it just hasn't trickled down yet, but it will, it will!" Thing is, the Busheviks have been telling so many lies about things so obviously not true -- "Saddam has WMD!" "Mission Accomplished!" "The Surge is Working!" -- that people are refusing to listen to the lies anymore. While we monkeys do love our lies, we like our lies to not be so obviously lies, Mr. Bush! GAH!

-- Badtux the Lie Penguin