Saturday, February 26, 2005

Brains! Brains! Brains!

To: Police Detective Steven Caudill
  Winchester Police Department
  16 South Maple Street
  Winchester, Kentucky 40391
Re: Zombies

Dear Detective Caudill,

I wish to thank you for protecting the students and faculty at George Rogers Clark High School from the threat of zombies. As a concerned citizen I am of course direly concerned about William Poole and his threat to inflict zombies upon this school. School should be about putting brains into children's heads, not about zombies eating people's brains! I applaud your dilligence in protecting our community from the dire zombie threat. I am sure you will receive criticisms like, "zombies are fictional!", but believe me, you have every right to protect our community from zombies. What would those nay-sayers have done if you'd let young Mr. Poole go free and he had in fact made good on his threat to inflict zombies upon the school? Why, then they would have come after you for doing nothing!

Thanks to you, our fine city of Winchester, Kentucky is safe from the horrid zombie threat. I salute you with every member of my body, sir!


Bad Tux


  1. BT SP: Featured you in Saturday Penguin blogging over at the site that dare not speak its name. You really need to get with this wacked pet blogging from an animal's point of view. Good job.

  2. The fools! The fools! The CultureGhost, being in possession of certain forbidden knowledge, has proof that George Romero's "Night of The Living Dead" was not fiction, but an attempt to communicate the truth about an incident.

    This young man probably was party to such an incident and was trying to get the message out.

    Ever really wonder about workplace called rampages and how quickly they're cleaned up?

  3. Wow, this letter sounds like it was written in the style of that patriotic Christian, Jesus' General!

  4. Thank you, Mr. Angry Pat. I sent EMAIL to General J.C. Christian but got no response back. So I made an attempt to emulate his style. It was either that, or start raving and frothing at the mouth about how stupid Kentucky redneck cops are...

  5. Yea, that redneck cop just happens to be a member of my family... and you all should really consider the fact that violent behavior often stems from violent fiction... and, if your child was a student at that high school, you might not be so sarcasic about those threats, however fictional or small... think of the students you jackasses, the sudents that have to watch things like Columbine unfold on TV and worry from day to day that that might happen to them...


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