The IMF says that the world's entire economy is going to slump in 2009, the first time that has happened since WWII. It now predicts that the US economy will shrink by 0.7 per cent next year. And while the tighty righties are gearing up to blame this all on Obama (just as they blame the Bush Recession on, well, Bill Clinton!), the question is, what is a tighty righty supposed to do about all of this?
Well, never fear. World Nut Daily has the answer. They've contracted the very famous financial advisor Chuck Norris to tell their subscribers what to do in order to last out this slump! To quote from their EMAIL announcing this unprecedented event:
"America's founders' financial," by Chuck Norris, featuring five basic principles of fiscal management on which the U.S. was founded"The soundest understanding of money, the highest principles of commerce and the profoundest insight into human nature – it's all found in the Bible, which actually has a lot to say on the subject of wealth: how to get it, how to protect it and what to do with it."
Note: All mis-spellings were in the original ;-).
Yessiree, everything you need to know about how to survive the financial slump comes from the writings of... err... shepherds. As in, guys who raise sheep. As interpreted by an economist? No! As interpreted by a movie star with no training in economics!
Gah, the stupidity! It burns! It burns!
-- Badtux the Amused-by-wingnuts Penguin
That is funny. :)
ReplyDeleteActually the Bible had one concept I believe we may all adopt next year if it gets really bad.
If I remember right, after seven years they forgave everyone's debts.
If no one owes anybody anything, we can start from a clean slate :)
Too bad the righties haven't seen the last of this mess. Four simple words:
ReplyDeleteHedge Fund
Margin Call
Two things that ain't great together1
Didn't that Bible-guy who's often depicted as looking somewhat like Chuck Norris -- I forget what his name was, but the Bibley-types wrote a lot about him -- say something about how it was good to pay your taxes unto Caeser, and how you should give the rest of your wealth to poor people, because rich folks didn't stand a camel's chance in Heaven? That guy musta been some kinda commie. If he was around today, Chuck Norris would kick his ass.
ReplyDeletethe question is, what is a tighty righty supposed to do about all of this?
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I'm a tighty righty, I'm not even sure what you mean by that, but I know what I'm going to do about it, cover my own ass.
I'm still doing fine and expect to keep on doing fine. But I don't expect to be spoiled either, just keep on keeping on.
don't make fun of those shepherds, dude, we may all be eating home-grown mutton and wearing homespun wool before this is over with. i for one am glad the family farm is still a working farm.
ReplyDeleteAs Jack Cafferty once told Norris: "Shut up. You break boards for a living."
ReplyDelete