Thursday, June 23, 2005

Yet another day in the War on Fun(tm)

Ah yes, the War on Fun(tm), that most excellent fight by our brave Attorney General against anything and everything that might threaten to be, well, FUN! Remember, anything that's fun is EVIL. We're all supposed to wander through our lives with a dour look of suffering on our face. If you're not suffering, you'll go to *HELL*! So we have terrorists plotting to kill Americans, our southern border is out of control, and our brave men (and token women) of the FBI are going up against the REAL enemy of America.... sick people.

Yes, sick people. Those vile cancer patients and chronic pain sufferers ought to just suffer in silence! How *dare* they take a medicine that actually is *effective* for remedying their pain? Why, next thing you know, they might even want to die in a dignified manner rather than writhing in pain while tied to a hospital bed!

No no, we couldn't have that. We *MUST* prosecute these sick people because if we don't, they might, they might, why, they might have FUN! Which is a SIN! Which would condemn them to HELL!

So let us give thanks to our Lord and Savior, George W. Bush, and His holy appointed administration, who are saving those dastardly sick people from themselves. Why, if they only drank of the Holy Koolaid and accepted George W. Bush as their personal Lord and Savior and had their sins washed away in the Blood of the Lamb who Died in His Place in Vietnam, why, they'd KNOW why the full might and power of the U.S. government must be employed to protect them from themselves!

As for those terrorists, well, they'll just have to wait, we have more important things to do, right? Right?!

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin


  1. Penguin, you just don't understand. It has nothing to do with Fun vs. Not Fun; the issue here is Life. If you had truly accepted George Bush as your Lord and Savior like you claim, you would know that there is nothing in this world so noble as Life. Well, that and Suffering.

    Therefore, anything which prolongs life, irregardless whether that life is worth living any longer, is good. That's why it's ok have the US Congress intervene in a family's private misery, even though the autopsy confirmed that the person's brain was essentially soup.

    By the same logic, it's a sin to try and medicate away the pain of your last days on earth. You're suffering horrible agony because it's God's plan for you to suffer, and who are you to thwart His will with wacky tobacky? Spare no expense exhausting every heroic medical procedure to stay alive as long as humanly possible, yes, but not one thin dime to alleviate your pain. Otherwise how would you know how much God loves you?

    Culture of Life, bitches!

  2. No, nope, I didn't read this post at all. I have to get to my "Koolaid drinkers anonymous" meeting, now..


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